taking your meds.”
Yes, that. Jordan was sorry she’d told Theo that the doctors at the base in Ramstein had prescribed her anxiety meds. And she’d taken them, too, while she was there for medical evaluation and debriefing. She’d also taken some on the flight because being in closed-in places made her feel on the verge of a panic attack.
But Jordan wasn’t sure about continuing the drugs.
They made her feel out of it, as if she weren’t quite herself. No need to have pills do that since she already felt that way.
“I brought my meds with me,” she said, and hoped that Theo wouldn’t say anything more about it.
He did.
“I just don’t want the flashbacks to hit out of the blue and pull you down,” he went on. “The meds will help you stay ahead of things.”
In this case, things meant the fear that kept coming back. It washed over her in waves, and yes, it did hit out of the blue.
Often.
And sometimes, it was so bad that she thought the panic might finally win and that she would have a full-blown attack. However, she doubted any dose of meds was going to make her forget that she’d been at the mercy of men, soldiers, who at any moment could have killed her and the rest of the crew.
“I need to go,” Jordan told him. “I’m in Wrangler’s Creek, and I’ll be at the Granger ranch soon. I’ll call you when I know more about Adele and Corbin.”
Just saying the boy’s name brought on a new kind of wave. A jumble of emotions. More anger at Adele for keeping him a secret. Concern for what would happen to him now that Adele was in jail. But there was also love. Despite the circumstances, Corbin was her flesh and blood, and even though she’d yet to lay eyes on him, she loved the little boy.
Jordan ended the call with Theo and took the turn down Main Street. A definite blast from the past. She’d been raised in Wrangler’s Creek, but it’d never especially felt like a place she wanted to be. The only times she’d been at peace here had been while she was with Dylan.
And that hadn’t lasted, either.
The restlessness had come. The feeling of inadequacy that most people from the other side of the tracks probably felt. She hadn’t been grounded here like Dylan. She still wasn’t.
After their marriage had ended, she’d had no trouble going. She had moved, leaving Adele and her mother behind. By then, her dad had been long gone. After Adele had finished high school, she’d also left—that’d been only a couple of months before Jordan’s mom had been killed in a car accident. After she’d died, there had been no reason for Jordan to come back.
Not until now.
Her chest tightened when she reached the gate to the Heavenly Acres, Dylan’s family’s ranch. The name was one of those ironies of life because so few heavenly things had actually happened there. Dylan’s family wasn’t exactly the heaven-inducing sort. For that matter, neither was Dylan unless it was a veiled reference to his sexual abilities. Those abilities were one of the big reasons he’d convinced her to marry him. They had temporarily glossed over problems that couldn’t have stayed glossed over for long.
The gate was open, no doubt left that way for her since it was normally closed, but that didn’t mean the Grangers were welcoming her. Not a chance. Jordan figured she’d managed to rile every single one of them when she’d ended things with Dylan. She would no doubt rile them further today when she confronted Dylan.
Other than a new house by the creek, the ranch looked pretty much as it had way back when. There were acres of pastures and pristine white fences. Plenty of livestock, too. All the things to let her know that the Grangers were still as wealthy as they always had been.
The tightness in her chest went up a huge notch when she pulled into the driveway of the massive house—yet another sign of wealth.
Despite having been married to Dylan, Jordan had never spent a single night in the place. Dylan and she had lived in the little guesthouse at the back of the property. It hadn’t been nearly as grand as the family “estate,” but it had given them the privacy that they’d thought would somehow help them succeed at something that had been doomed right from the very start.
Jordan pushed that all aside now. Pushed away her tat/mistake conversation with Theo, too, as she pulled to a stop in the driveway. She glanced in the mirror to see if she looked as nervous and worried as she felt.
She did.
If she’d been in a police lineup, she would have been an immediate suspect for multiple felonies because the nerves were showing all over her face. Her eyes were even a little twitchy. She’d ditched the perverted Easter bunny hoodie and hat. Now she did the same to the sunglasses, and she felt instantly naked.
Exposed.
Which really wasn’t a good thing to feel around Dylan. He had a way of undressing her with that bedroom smile. Or at least once it’d been bedroom-y. As upset as she was about all of this, it was highly likely she was immune to Dylan and anything he dished out.
When she stepped out of her rental car, she got another reminder. Of the scalding Texas heat. It was May, not yet summer, but even though the sun was about to set, the temps were still in the midnineties. Of course, it’d been hot on the deployment, but there’d been no thick humidity or pollen.
Before Jordan had even made it a step, the front door opened, and she tried to steel herself up to see Dylan. But what she saw was actually a friendly face.
Her old high school pal, Karlee O’Malley.
With a big smile and her arms outstretched, Karlee ran to her and pulled Jordan into a hug. “It’s so good to see you. Wish it were under better circumstances,” she added in a whisper.
Yes, Jordan wished that as well, but the truth was she wouldn’t be here at the Granger ranch if it hadn’t been for those circumstances.
Karlee eased back from the hug, sliding her hand around Jordan’s waist to get her moving toward the house. “I hope we’ll have time to catch up...after you’ve chatted with Dylan and met Corbin, that is.” She paused a heartbeat. “How are you?”
Jordan knew that question encompassed more than just Adele’s bombshell. Karlee had no doubt heard about the other thing. “I’m okay.”
Karlee lifted her eyebrow.
“Not okay with Dylan,” Jordan corrected. “I guess he doesn’t have the same man-rules as most guys about having sex with someone in your ex’s family.”
Karlee didn’t argue with that or jump into some Dylan bashing. She just led Jordan into the house. Still no sign of Dylan, but Lucian was there, talking to someone on the phone. However, when he spotted Jordan, he stopped and issued a terse “I’ll have to call you back” before he ended the call and stared at her.
“Jordan,” Lucian greeted. It wasn’t anywhere on the friendly scale, but unless Lucian had changed a lot, it was downright warm and fuzzy for him. “It’s been a while.” Again, warm and fuzzy.
And that made Jordan silently curse.
He
