his heart really wasn’t ready to move on.
She ran her fingertips along his bare skin. ‘I can’t say much to help, because we do know some cancers seem to run in families. But think back. Think back to the random patients you’ve seen over the years that came in with symptoms. Symptoms that led to a diagnosis of…’ she paused for a second, obviously recalling a few cases ‘…skin cancer, anal cancer, prostate cancer or renal cancer. People with no family history at all. It happens all the time.’
She stopped talking for a few minutes and just let him consider. ‘Sometimes it’s easier to see the things that worry us most.’ She paused and gave him a sympathetic smile. ‘The kinds of things that keep you awake in your bed at night.’
‘What kind of doctor does that make me then?’ He looked pained.
She shook her head. ‘No kind of doctor. Just a worried parent. You don’t have to be a doctor every moment of your life, Joe.’ She looked up into his worried green eyes and gave him the softest smile. They were barely inches apart now. ‘Make room for other things,’ she whispered.
It was almost as if she’d touched a nerve. He jerked. He physically jerked at the impact of her words and she immediately averted her eyes, embarrassed for them both. She moved back quickly to the table and sat down, giving him a few moments to join her.
Her brain was whirring now. She shouldn’t have touched him. How could she explain that it had been done in empathy for how he was feeling?
She wasn’t really that surprised that he was feeling vulnerable right now. He was in a strange country with his son. Yes, they seemed to have settled well, but who really knew what went on inside someone else’s mind?
Clearly not her. No matter how much she tried to deny it, she was beginning to feel a connection to this guy. But after that reaction she was apparently not reading things well. She’d just embarrassed them both. The easiest thing to do was try to pretend nothing had happened.
She shifted a little in the seat. The last thing she wanted to do was sit here in his company after that.
But she still had to work with this guy every day. So she took a deep breath and plastered an interested look on her face, ignoring the little strands of hurt she felt inside.
His phone buzzed with a text and when it flashed up, she saw the screenshot that lay behind it. It was the same photo that Regan had next to his bed. The picture of Esther on the beach, laughing.
Something twisted inside her. She had no reason to be jealous, absolutely none. Of course Regan should have a picture of his mum, but did Joe also need to have it on his phone?
She stared at the array of papers alongside a laptop on the table. ‘What on earth have you been doing?’
As he sat down at the table and started organising his papers her eyes went to one of the pictures Joe had put on the wall. What drew her attention was a large, grand-looking house surrounded by an expanse of gardens. From the view and setting it seemed to be back in Scotland. Joe and Regan were standing in front of the property—it was clearly their family home. She had no idea what house prices were like over there, but one look at the obviously expensive property made her feel distinctly uncomfortable. She’d already seen the house belonging to Joe’s mum and dad, but this must be the house that Joe and Regan lived in. She tried not to calculate in her head how many times this tiny two-bed bungalow could fit into that grand house. What was the English TV series set before the war, where they had staff? It was nearly as big as that.
‘Is that a house or a castle?’ she quipped. Unease spread across her. No, more than that. It was like every nerve in her body was on edge; she could sense the instant hostility and she couldn’t do a darned thing about it. It was like every automatic defence system had just slid into place.
‘It’s not a castle,’ he said with a wave of his hand, then peered back at the screen. ‘At least, I don’t think it was.’
Her skin prickled. She actually wasn’t sure if he was joking or not. She licked her lips. It was funny how being uncomfortable made her mouth instantly dry. ‘Bigger than the average house, I imagine.’ She tried to make her voice sound casual.
He leaned back against the sofa and nodded towards the window and the hospital across from them. ‘Not as big as this place.’
She folded her arms across her chest. ‘I’m not so sure.’
He shook his head. ‘Nah,’ he said breezily. ‘And anyway, didn’t you know everyone lives in a castle in Scotland?’
Of course he was joking, but just the way he said those words tugged at something inside her, and not in a good way. History had taught her that only those who had never had to worry about money would make a quip like that.
‘Here.’ He turned a large piece of paper around to face her. He hadn’t thought twice about their conversation. He hadn’t even noticed her reaction.
She bent forward. It was a map of the surrounding areas. It was littered with red and blue dots.
‘What is this?’ She was confused.
‘I decided to take a look at some of our patients,’ he said. His fingers traced across the paper. ‘The ones with the red dots are the patients currently attending that have tuberculosis. The ones with blue dots are the ones we know have multi-resistant tuberculosis.’ He leaned forward so his head was almost touching hers. ‘Look here. This is the biggest cluster.’
She nodded slowly. The information wasn’t a surprise to her, she’d just never seen it laid out this way. Her skin prickled. The district with the biggest incidence of tuberculosis was the one where her parents lived, and in which she’d been brought up.
He kept talking as he moved some papers around the desk. ‘Okay, so you don’t like me going out and doing follow-ups…’ he gave her a slightly teasing smile ‘…but I got to thinking. I’ve checked up on some of these patients. There’s a low uptake of tuberculosis vaccinations after birth. Not everyone is bringing their children to the clinic. What about if we set up a kind of pop-up clinic to try and screen some people for TB, and immunise any kids that have been missed?’
He was clearly brimming with enthusiasm at the prospect. ‘Is this district one I should be worried about? Are the crime rates high there?’ He kept talking without waiting for a response. ‘Because I’ve checked some of the other stats. I know there’s deprivation and poor health. I know one of the biggest issues for the kids in that area is malnutrition. Maybe we could try and do something to address that while we’re there?’
Something swept over her. Resentment. A wave of anger. ‘What, do you want to give them all money to feed their kids too?’
He pulled back, obviously surprised by her outburst. She ran her fingers through her hair. ‘Do you think we haven’t tried these things before?’ she asked. ‘Do you think we haven’t tried to find new ways to help the people who need it most?’ Her words came out more fiercely than she’d meant them to, but she couldn’t hide how many buttons his ideas had just pushed.
Joe was looking at her with cautious eyes. He clasped both hands together and spoke carefully. ‘Of course I think you’ve tried different things. But sometimes it’s a timing issue. All I’m saying is maybe it’s time to try again.’ His voice was low. ‘I don’t know the people in these areas the way that the rest of the staff here do. I can only look from an outside
