you.’
‘Has the patient’s wife been called?’
When Sally nodded, Kieran turned back to Abby. ‘Can you give me a quick tour of the department and introduce me to the staff? Paul’s in good hands with the intern until the cardiologist gets here.’
With his hand firmly holding her elbow, she had little choice except to do as he’d asked. But as the nurse in charge of the department Sally should be the one to show him around. ‘Sally? You want to do this?’
One wink from Sally and Abby knew there’d be no help from that quarter. Her friend would actively foster any interest that Kieran might show in her.
Tugging her arm free, Abby answered, ‘It won’t take long. It’s not a huge department such as you’ll be used to.’
‘Makes an interesting change. There might be more time to get to know the staff than I have back home.’
Abby rolled her eyes. ‘Unfortunately, we still get incredibly busy. As with any hospital board, finance rules. Staffing levels are usually at least one, if not two, people below what we require.’
‘Typical.’ Kieran shrugged. ‘Dr Banning mentioned that this hospital services a huge rural area.’
It was Michael Banning’s position as Head of Department that Kieran would be covering.
Abby filled Kieran in. ‘The whole of the top of the South Island really, apart from Blenheim, which is more than a hundred kilometres away. There are small rural towns and plenty of farms, orchards and vineyards fanning out from here, plus major industries such as forestry and fishing.’
‘Both those industries are susceptible to hideous accidents.’
‘You’re not wrong there.’ Abby’s lips pressed together and a flicker of despair cramped her stomach. Twice she’d nursed old school friends after logging accidents.
Kieran was right behind her when she pushed open the door to Michael’s, soon to be Kieran’s, office, the last stop on the tour. She felt so aware of him that her skin seemed to have a life of its own; a hot tingle touching the insides of her elbows, a searing on her neck just below her chin. She took a large step inside to put space between them, and turned to face Kieran.
The door clicked shut, and Kieran leaned back against it, his unfathomable eyes fixed on her. A shiver of trepidation chilled her. Was this it? Had the moment she’d been dreading arrived? Here? At work? Surely not.
She swallowed around the lump in her throat. ‘It’s a pity Michael couldn’t be here to meet you but, of course, he’s incredibly tied up at the moment and not expecting you to come in until Friday.’
‘Abigail.’ He stopped, shook his head. ‘You’re not comfortable with me being here, in the department, are you?’ His bewilderment appeared genuine. His chin lifted and those blue eyes darkened as he waited for her reply.
‘It’s a little awkward, with what’s between us. I—You …’ She stopped. Even today, every time he looks at me, I want to put my hands on his face, run my fingers along that strong jaw. I want one of his bone-bending kisses. No, I don’t. I want to run away from the questions in those tired eyes. ‘We do need to talk about Seamus, but I don’t think this is the place. Right now you have a patient to hand over and then you should get out of here while you can. You’re exhausted from your trip, and in need of a meal and a shower.’
For a long moment Kieran stared at her. Abby shoved her trembling fingers deep into her pockets as she waited for him to tell her what he really thought about her decision not tell him about his son.
Finally, Kieran jerked the handle to open the door. But his voice was surprisingly soft, almost sympathetic. ‘We’ve not finished talking, but you’re right, it’ll have to wait until a more suitable time and place.’
‘Thank goodness.’ Relief whooshed through Abby.
Kieran raised a black eyebrow. ‘There’s nothing to be thankful for. We have one hell of a mess to sort out.’
‘Mess?’ That was not how she’d describe her family but, then, she wasn’t the one terrified of raising children. ‘Listen, Kieran. I love those kids and believe I’m giving them everything they need to grow into happy, responsible adults. Where’ s the mess in that?’
‘I only have one.’ He hesitated. ‘Sorry, two relatives, and they both live on the opposite side of the world from me. I never know what is happening in their lives. Until a few days ago, I didn’t even know there was a second child I should be aware of. This, to me, is a mess.’
He had a valid point. Despite the photos and Olivia’s drawings she’d sent him, he didn’t really know his niece. Whose fault was that? But they weren’t really talking about Olivia. It was Seamus who hung between them, divided them.
‘You wouldn’t believe the number of times I tried to ring and tell you about Seamus. I even wrote letters to you, included photos in with some of them.’
‘Odd I never got them.’ Disbelief dripped off his tongue in great dollops.
Hurt, she cried out, ‘I can give them to you any time you want. I’ve still got them all.’
‘I don’t see the point now.’ He turned toward the door, the conversation over. At least the disbelief had abated. Then he looked over his shoulder at her. ‘One thing. Do any of the staff here know I’m the father of your son?’
‘Absolutely not.’
‘There’s something I can be grateful for, then.’
Raw pain gripped her. Was he ashamed of his son? In all the scenarios her mind had tossed up, not one had included Kieran feeling like that. Shame she could not cope with. ‘You’re not giving any of us a chance.’
His smile was professional; confident and cool. ‘You think so? How’s this for a chance? I’ll visit you and the children later this afternoon. Will that suit you?’
And if it didn’t? But she could see in his now chilly eyes that he wouldn’t take no for an answer. Anyway, she wanted him to see the kids, meet his son. She wanted it over and done with. Her stomach couldn’t take too much more tension. ‘Come for dinner. Six o’clock.’ Obviously he didn’t want her to deliver him to his apartment.
‘You eat dinner at six?’
‘No, the children do. We’ll eat after they go to bed.’
He pulled the door open, held it wide for her to pass through. ‘You still live on the same road as when I was here for the wedding?’
She sighed. What did he know about any of them? ‘Yes, but don’t forget I’m in the cottage next to the orchard. David and Morag’s place.’
‘I’ll see you at six, then.’ He strode along to the nurses’ station, leaving her shaking in his wake.
She stared at his ramrod back and wished him back in Ireland. Then she’d be able to go back to the simple problems of raising two small children while holding down a responsible job, of making her dollars go twice as far as they were intended to, of looking out for her father and high-maintenance twin sisters.
