he been selfish, avoiding everyone’s attempts to fix him up on a date? Should he have put his own feelings aside and tried to find someone who’d fit into their lives and be a mother to Mia? Guilt seeped through him.
‘Yes, she’s lucky,’ he said softly. ‘But you’re lucky, too. You have two nannas. And Aunty Lucy.’
‘Ye-es.’
But he knew that having two grandmothers and an aunt weren’t the same as having a mum. And now he felt really bad because he’d effectively stopped his daughter talking about her feelings. He could see that she was hurting.
‘Your mummy loved you very much,’ he said, stroking her hair. ‘And so do I.’
‘Love you, too, Daddy,’ Mia said.
‘Sleep tight, angel.’ OK, so he was being selfish again, backing away from the conversation—but he didn’t know what to say to her. How to make it right. Because this was something he couldn’t fix. ‘See you in the morning.’
‘Night-night, Daddy.’ Mia snuggled under her duvet after he’d kissed her goodnight.
Daniel thought about it for the rest of the evening.
He was still thinking about it, the next day. A mum for Mia.
Could he do this? Find her a mother? Replace Meg in his life as well as in hers?
After all, he had met someone. The first woman he’d been attracted to since Meg’s death. Though that in itself made him feel horribly guilty, as if he were betraying Meg’s memory. Mia had made it clear that she wanted a mother figure in her life; or was it just a phase? How would she feel if he started seeing someone? Would she feel as if she was missing out on time with him?
And then there was Stephanie herself. She’d been cagey about her past, and Daniel was pretty sure that someone had hurt her. Badly. Like him, she might have filled her life so she didn’t have space for a relationship. And, even if she did have space, would she want to get involved with someone who already had a child?
He brooded about it all the way home.
His sister was curled up on the sofa, reading, when he walked in; she looked up and frowned. ‘Tough day?’ she asked.
‘I’m fine,’ he lied.
‘Dan, I’ve known you long enough to see the signs. Come and sit down in the kitchen. I saved you some pasta. While it’s heating through, you can talk.’
‘Lucy, you’re being bossy.’ But he followed her into the kitchen and sat down at the table anyway.
‘I’m worried about you, Dan.’ She put the pasta in the microwave and sat down opposite him. ‘Tell me.’
‘I don’t know where to start.’ He sighed. ‘Mia was saying yesterday that one of her friends is getting a second mum.’
‘That would be Ellie.’ Lucy nodded. ‘Her new stepmum’s very nice.’
‘Mia, um, kind of hinted that she wants a mum.’
‘And that’s upset you?’
‘Thrown me.’ He grimaced. ‘Lucy, do you think it would be wrong of me to see someone?’
‘That depends. If you’re doing it just to give Mia a mum, then yes. That wouldn’t be fair to any of you.’ She paused. ‘But if you’ve met someone you want to see, that’s different. Mum and I have been saying for ages that you could do with some fun in your life. We all love Mia dearly, but it’s hard being a single parent, and the only things you ever do are if you go out somewhere with us or if it’s a team night at work.’
‘Which makes it sound as if I don’t have a social life.’
‘You don’t have a social life,’ she said gently.
He rubbed his jaw. ‘I feel guilty. It’s—well, it feels as if I’m betraying Meg.’
‘Rubbish,’ Lucy said roundly. ‘Think of it the other way round—if you’d been the one killed in the accident, would you have wanted Meg to be on her own for the rest of her life?’
‘I’m not on my own,’ he said. ‘I have Mia, I have you, I have Mum and Dad, and I have the Parkers.’
‘Having a daughter and a supportive family who love you,’ Lucy pointed out, ‘isn’t the same as dating someone. You’re still young, Dan. You’re only thirty-five, but you’re acting as if you’re an old man.’
He had no answer to that.
‘Would you have wanted Meg to stay on her own?’
He sighed. ‘No. I would’ve wanted her to find someone who’d love her as much as I did. Someone who’d treat Mia as his own and love her, too.’
‘Exactly. And Meg was my friend as well as my sister-in-law. I knew her well enough to know how she would’ve felt—and she would’ve felt the same as you do.’ She paused. ‘So have you met someone?’
He didn’t answer. Not that it made any difference.
‘Why don’t you ask her out?’ Lucy asked.
He gave her a speaking look. Wasn’t it obvious?
Lucy spread her hands. ‘What’s the worst that could happen?’ When he didn’t answer, she said it for him. ‘That she says no. And then it’s no different from the situation you’re in now, not going out with her. Ask her.’
He wrinkled his nose. ‘It might be a bit awkward at work.’
‘She works with you?’
‘Sort of,’ he hedged.
‘In the same department?’
He had to be honest. ‘No.’
‘Well, then. It won’t be awkward. You always put patients first and you’re professional. OK, it might be a little bit awkward at the first team night out afterwards, but it’ll soon smooth over.’ She leaned over and squeezed his hand. ‘You’re scared, aren’t you?’
Trust his sister to work that out. ‘It’s been a long time since I’ve dated. I have no idea what I’m doing.’ He dragged in a breath. ‘And it’s not fair to Mia. Or to this woman.’
‘Whoa, you’re really building bridges to trouble here. Look, there’s a world of difference between going out with someone and enjoying an evening in each other’s company, and asking the woman to marry you and become Mia’s stepmother.’
‘I guess.’
‘Mia doesn’t have to know anything about this, so she’s not going to get hurt. If it doesn’t work out between you and the mystery woman, then it doesn’t work out, but you’ve still had a couple of nice evenings out and had some fun, for a change. And if it does work out—well, you’ve already said Mia wants a mum.’
How
