eyes lowered. He studied his feet and the casket, but Vonnie could feel his frequent glances.
“—and we know that one day we will see our friend again and we will then rejoice together. Let us pray. Our Father…”
Bowing her head, Vonnie watched Adam standing beside Beth through brimming eyes. P.K., Andrew, Pat and Joey stood nearby. P.K., like her father, was a pillar of the community. The men had more in common than just being neighbors. They were two of a kind, the breed of man who had carved a place for families in this vast land, who proved that perseverance and providence, yoked by sweat and ingenuity, could build a good life.
Alike in spirit, they were alike in appearance as well—tall, rangy, broad shouldered, faces weathered, near the same age.
She studied Adam, her eyes blurred with pain and tears, praying to block out the sight of the man she loved. The warm sun brought out the blond highlights in his brown hair. If she had been taking inventory, she could have noted that he’d not bothered to get a haircut in several weeks. His hair had a tendency to curl when he let it grow, and now it was waving against the collar of a blue shirt that matched his eyes.
Suddenly the memory of the boy she’d loved sprang up. At seventeen, Adam had been larger than most of the boys his age. He’d done the work of a grown man since he had been thirteen. Everyone knew that he and his brothers would one day inherit Cabeza Del Lobo.
The other boys accepted that. Each had his own duties. Andrew was in charge of the hired hands, while the others worked the horses and cattle. Vonnie had heard her father comment to Cammy that P.K. was staying closer to the house more and more these days. Stiffening of the joints, he’d said, made the days long for P.K. Whatever the differences between the two men, her father’s notice of Adam’s father had been genuine.
It would be natural, she’d thought, for the two men who were responsible for Amarillo turning into a thriving community to be friends, or at least business partners. But such was not the case. P.K. and Teague rarely looked in the same direction when forced to be in the same place at the same time, much less socialized.
Yet, she’d found no real reason for such hatred. Differences maybe, but Teague had tolerated differences with everyone but P.K.
“Amen.”
Pastor Higgins motioned Vonnie forward, and she carefully took a handful of dirt and sprinkled it on her father’s coffin.
Oh, Daddy. What are we going to do without you?
The moment was so emotional she felt her defenses crumbling. Holding on to her mother’s arm, she helped Cammy sprinkle dirt on the casket.
“I’ll be stopping by in a day or two,” Pastor Higgins murmured as he grasped their hands a moment later. “My prayers are with you. Should you need anything, don’t hesitate to send for me.”
Vonnie blinked back tears. “Thank you, Pastor. It was a lovely service.”
Suddenly she wished everyone was gone. She wanted to be alone, to cry and grieve with her mother.
One by one the mourners passed by, the women hugging first her mother then her, the men shuffling by uttering a few barely audible words.
Everyone had expressed their remorse when P.K. approached. For a moment he didn’t say anything, just looked down at the ground. Eventually, he cleared his throat and met Vonnie’s eyes.
He opened his mouth to speak, but words failed him. Reaching for Cammy’s hand, he squeezed it briefly before moving on.
“I’m sorry, Vonnie,” Andrew said, taking her hand in his.
“It was kind of you to come, Andrew.”
“Vonnie,” Pat said. He seemed uncertain of what he should say when it was his turn.
“Thank you for coming, Pat.”
“You’re welcome, ma’am…I’m real sorry for you and your mother.”
Ma’am. The address made her sound so old.
Joey nodded and followed his brothers out the cemetery gate.
And then it was Adam’s turn. Beth clung to his side, holding his arm protectively. Taking Vonnie’s hand, he held it for a moment. The show of respect made her pain even more evident. “I’m sorry, Vonnie.”
She swallowed, overwhelmed with the impulse to lean against his broad chest and sob her heart out. She had realized her foolishness long ago. She should have respected their vows, stood up to Teague, but she hadn’t. Now she had lost Adam forever.
“Thank you,” she managed.
His thumb moved lightly across her knuckles. He’d held her hand this way, his thumb brushing back and forth, the night they stood before an ill-prepared judge and were married.
For a moment she swayed lightly against him, overcome by emotion. Her forehead rested against his chest, her eyes closed. She felt his need to put his arms around her, to hold her, but he didn’t. What had been between them was over. The love they’d once shared was nothing but a nice memory.
When Adam had begun courting Beth, Vonnie knew P.K. was pleased. Beth was the kind of woman P.K. appreciated, one who was agreeable. Nothing ever upset her. She was flexible; she adjusted. Whatever Adam wanted, Beth was willing to accommodate. She would be the ideal wife, and her father owned land P.K. had wanted for years.
When it was apparent she’d lingered too long, Vonnie straightened, color flooding her cheeks. How could she have weakened like that, leaning on Adam and making a spectacle of herself? Beth would think her shamelessly forward.
Always thoughtful and good-hearted, Beth was the first to the bedside of a sick person, the first to lend a hand at church with any event. True, sometimes Beth’s giving nature could get on her nerves, but Vonnie was honest enough to realize the differences in their personalities. If she was serious about serving God maybe she should try to be more like Beth.
Quickly regaining her composure, she dropped her hand to her side. “Thank you, Adam. I appreciate your coming. I must admit I was surprised to see your father here.”
Adam’s eyes followed P.K. as he walked away from the grave site. “I wonder if he didn’t care more about Teague than he’s willing to admit.”
“If he did, then it’s too bad he never told him,” she said. “For all concerned.” Their eyes met briefly before he looked away.
“I’m so sorry about your father,” Beth said, slipping her hand into Vonnie’s. “If there’s anything I can do, you must let me know.”
“Thank you, Beth. Tell your mother I appreciate the chicken she sent over.”
“I’ll come by tomorrow and—well, we’ll all have a nice, long visit.” She tilted her head, smiling encouragingly. “Would you like that?”
“That’s kind of you. Mother is so upset. I’m not sure that she’ll be up to visiting. Mrs. Lincoln is going to stay with us a few days to help out, but I’d like your company. The house seems so empty without Daddy—”
She faltered, a lump forming in her throat. The realization
