months,” she pointed out. “It seems tacky to plan a tribute to my deceased husband while I’m dating someone else.” Their relationship may have been rocky the last two years and she might be finally ready to look for male companionship and find romance again, but in honor of the good times and the love they’d once shared, she owed it to Gabe to wait.
“Did you tell that to Jeff?”
She nodded, remembering their conversation. He’d been so understanding, which not only came as a relief but also endeared him to her all the more. “He’s agreed to give me time,” she said, deciding not to mention that she’d set their first official date for the Saturday night after the fundraiser. If Jane knew that, she’d be bouncing off the walls with excitement and Leah didn’t want to see her sly smiles and winks in the meantime.
Jane stared at her thoughtfully. “Personally, I think you’re worried too much about what other people think, but another month or two won’t make much difference. Just be sure your decision to stay out of the dating game is based on the right reasons.”
“What other reason could I have?”
Jane shrugged. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe that you still love Gabe and are waiting for the ultimate proof that he won’t be coming back.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” She avoided her friend’s gaze because she didn’t want Jane to recognize what she herself refused to dwell on or admit. “If I loved him, why would I have moved out?”
“You tell me. I just don’t want you to be stuck on hold for the rest of your life.”
“I’m not,” Leah insisted. “I’m merely being cautious. There’s no sense rushing into something I might come to regret.” She grabbed a fresh cotton blanket and shook it out of its folds with a decisive snap, effectively signaling an end to their conversation. “Do you know what’s coming in next?”
Jane shook her head. “All I heard was that they were bringing in three from the airport.”
“The airport?” She considered for a moment. “Bigwigs, no doubt.”
“What makes you say that?”
“It’s probably food related and the only folks who get food on a plane are seated in first class. And who usually can afford to sit in first class?”
“Ah.” Jane’s eyes gleamed. “Bigwigs.”
“Exactly.”
“You’re stereotyping, you know. Regular people buy first-class tickets, too.”
Leah flashed her a wide smile. “Okay, so I’m generalizing but, mark my words, it won’t be three average Joes who roll into our ambulance bay. They’ll be fellows wearing suits and ties, carrying briefcases and BlackBerrys, and wanting a magic pill to fix whatever ails them. Oh, and can we hurry because they’re already late for a meeting.”
Jane laughed, probably because Leah’s scenario had actually taken place often enough to become a legend in the ER. “We’ll find out if you’re right in about three minutes. Marge wants us to be on the dock, ready to go.”
As the emergency department’s nurse manager, Marge Pennington was a person who believed in keeping busy every minute, so it seemed odd she would ask them to waste time waiting. Her request only seemed to substantiate Leah’s prediction of several Very Important People arriving on this transport.
“Far be it from me to argue,” she said, although it bothered her to think Marge was willing to discard her normal habits in order to impress people with money. Having married into a family with the Midas touch, Leah had always been leery of people who didn’t treat her as they would anyone else.
“According to her, the person radioing in specifically asked for you.”
Leah’s eyes widened. “Me? Why me?”
Jane shrugged. “Maybe it’s someone you know from Gabe’s trust organization.”
Leah mentally ran through her list of regularly generous contributors to the Montgomery Medical Charitable Foundation. As chairwoman of the annual fund-raising ball, which would take place in six weeks, she was acquainted with nearly all of the supporters, but none knew she worked in the Spring Valley Hospital Emergency Department.
“Impossible,” she said.
Jane shrugged. “Who knows? In any case, I’m only following Marge’s orders and if you know what’s good for you, you will, too.”
Marge wasn’t the easiest charge nurse to work for, but she was a model of efficiency and a brilliant nurse. No one, not even the hospital’s CEO, crossed her when she was in battle mode.
Leah gave the bed a final pat, pleased with their results. “Okay, then. Let’s go. I can use a few minutes of fresh air while we’re waiting.” She grinned. “Just think, we might even get to sit and rest our weary feet.”
Outside, Leah did exactly as she’d hoped to. Ignoring Jane and the two extra staff who’d joined them with wheelchairs and an extra stretcher, she sat on the concrete loading dock and dangled her legs over the edge as she breathed in the fresh air and soaked up the heat.
If only the summer sun would chase away the coldness inside her—the same coldness that had settled into every cell, the same coldness that had taken hold ever since she’d realized Gabe’s plane had gone down with her request for a divorce ringing in his ears.
She’d agonized for weeks over taking their separation to its logical conclusion before she’d contacted a lawyer, but they’d lived apart for nearly a year. After the adoption had fallen through, they’d simply shut down. It was understandable, she supposed. They’d been obsessed with the baby when she’d been pregnant, and then they’d focused exclusively on adopting a child. Their marriage had been so driven toward that end goal that their sudden failure had simply sidelined their relationship.
Consequently they’d drifted apart until the only solution had been to ask for a change of scenery. She’d wanted time and space to redefine what she wanted out of life and, more importantly, she wanted Gabe to have the same.
A year later, she’d finally faced the facts. Remaining in their legal limbo wasn’t doing either of them any favors. They both needed the freedom to pursue their dreams—she wanted companionship and Gabe wanted a family. Although she hated the idea of Gabe finding a woman who could give him what she couldn’t, it had seemed silly, selfish and almost spiteful to keep him from his heart’s desire. With the stroke of a judge’s pen, they would end their estranged state and could move on with their lives. To start over, as it were.
In the end, her altruistic decision had been wasted. Fate had stepped in and had the last laugh at their expense before he could sign the papers dissolving their marriage. Before he’d created the family he’d always wanted.
Since then, she’d told herself on a daily basis to stop beating herself over everything from procrastinating to her bad timing. After all, divorced or widowed, she was still alone.
Alone or not, though, it pained her to imagine what final thoughts had run through Gabe’s head. No doubt his last one of her had involved the unpleasant scene when she’d asked for a divorce. Some would say she was being too hard on herself. Others would say she was worrying over nothing. After all, if she wanted
