reportedly one of the wealthiest islands in the Caribbean, Trinidad’s existence had never posed any real interest for him. Suddenly, he found it important to know as much as he could.
Small, petite with coal-black hair, Brianna was pretty with an added touch of exotic flair. She also possessed both the talent and brains to become a top-notch M.D. Terrance was immediately struck by the reality that she was different from anyone he’d ever met before. Although she studied a great deal and partied very little, she still managed to be more fun than many of the party animals he knew. Something about her inspired confidence, a quality he found refreshing. Ironically, on their second date, he began calling her Bree without knowing her entire family did, too.
They were married one year after graduation. Brianna passed the examinations necessary to become a registered nurse in the Bahamas and they set up housekeeping there. Around the same time, Terrance finished up his premed courses and entered into an internship with Nassau Medical Center, a state-of-the-art hospital which had only been built three years before. They were owned in part by a medical conglomerate located in the United Kingdom.
They’d discussed Brianna’s change of heart about becoming a doctor many times. Terrance did his best to convince her that it was still possible, but she no longer felt it was necessary.
“One doctor in the house is enough. I’ll continue in nursing. It’s fine,” she’d said.
The marriage was solid for the first year and a half. Then all hell broke loose. It started with small things, then mushroomed as each month passed. Brianna complained incessantly about every birth-control product on the market. Everything from bloating, headaches, dizziness and real or imagined weight gain plagued her.
Terrance attributed much of the complaints to her not wanting to take the Pill; hence he concluded she wanted to be pregnant. For some unfathomable reason, the thought of becoming a father bothered him. And the thought of Brianna becoming pregnant terrified him.
One Sunday afternoon, as Terrance polished his silver-gray BMW 535, Brianna walked outside, came around to him and put her arm around his waistline. Not one to be prone to intimate gestures in public, Terrance put down the cloth he was using, looked at her briefly and asked, “What gives?” He had already come to the realization that any uncharacteristic gesture from her usually meant that something was up.
“I think you might want to sit down for this,” she said softly, then took his hand and led him into the small house they’d leased for the past two years. As they both sat down on the dark green sofa which filled the den, she’d looked at him quickly then whispered, “I think I’m pregnant.”
Silence reigned supreme for the next moment as Terrance remained speechless.
“Well, say something,” she offered.
“I’m not sure I understand. You said you think. When will you know?” he asked quickly, not wanting to react before there was certainty.
“Well, I’m late and I took one of those home tests a little while ago. According to the test, I’m pregnant,” she ended, her face showing a mixture of emotions.
Terrance held his breath, took one of her hands into his and said slowly, “I thought we agreed we would wait.”
“I know but I can’t help it if it happened. I didn’t see you saying anything at the time it was occurring, so don’t start now,” she snapped, then jumped up and ran into the bedroom.
Terrance continued to sit in the same spot for the next twenty minutes, unable to go to her. A baby would change things, that much he was certain of. They’d barely made a dent in the mountain of bills they’d each brought to the marital table, not to mention the student loans they each carried. His concern was strictly practical although he also wondered if he possessed the parenting skills necessary to produce a well-rounded human being. As the sun went down, that thought plagued him as he washed, waxed and buffed both of their vehicles. He focused on the task at hand, not allowing his mind to acknowledge any of the thoughts which threatened to break through.
By the time he came back inside, Brianna had dinner on the table and seemed to have also put the exchange behind her. Two days later, the test results were confirmed by her physician. A baby was on the way.
Meanwhile, Terrance avoided the discussion, avoided his wife and did his best to ignore the obvious. Although Brianna hadn’t brought the subject up again, he recognized that the longer it took for them to hash out their differences, the more entrenched she would be when the time finally arrived. And so, from the start, he knew that his stance was a moot point.
Brianna went through the nine months of pregnancy without incident, but the couple had already suffered a crushing blow. They spoke rarely and discussed things pertinent to the baby only when necessary. The irony of it was that once Brianna gave birth to their daughter, Jacqueline, the feud was inexplicably over.
As soon as he held his daughter in his arms for the first time, Terrance realized he had never known unconditional love. What he felt for the bundle within his arms was and would probably always be unsurpassed by anything he felt for anyone else on the planet.
Months passed, but Brianna never forgave him. And he never forgave himself for second-guessing Jacquline’s entry into the world.
The doorbell rang then, breaking Terrance’s thought pattern. A dinner of brown stewed chicken, steamed vegetables and salad was delivered from a local restaurant he’d called. Terrance ate slowly while watching the evening news. His mind was still on the conversation with Branch.
He also wrote out a check for the monthly child support, then went online to make a round-trip airline reservation to Fort Lauderdale.
Branch’s statement stayed with him and he wondered when, if ever, he’d be done with playing catch-up to all the people he owed some form of consideration to. He’d been alone for the past months, but felt good about it. Twice monthly weekend visits with his daughter kept him going and for that much, he was grateful. He’d always wondered why couples fought so bitterly for child custody when they could more easily share the burdens and joys. It simply made sense to him.
With that thought, Terrance picked up the phone and dialed. Brianna answered on the second ring and he took a deep breath before speaking.
“Hi—it’s me.”
“Hello, Terrance—Jacqueline is asleep already,” she responded, shortly.
“Have I gotten you at a bad time?” He wanted to ask why she sounded so winded, then caught himself. It was no longer his business what she did, when she did it and with whom. So he just waited for her to respond to his question as asked.
“I was exercising. Listen, can you call back tomorrow night, but before eight o’clock? I try to get her into bed by then or otherwise, it’s a fight to get her up in the morning.”
“Yeah, I know she’s not a morning kid, at least not yet,” he said, wanting to lighten the conversation. What he really wanted to do was to talk to her, but he sensed she was not willing to engage in that kind of exchange, so he continued to hold the phone in his hand, wondering why on earth he was feeling so melancholy.
“I don’t know that she’ll ever be. Kids just need more sleep. Anyway, I’ll let her know that you called. She gets excited whenever your name is mentioned.”
Terrance smiled then and relaxed a little. “Does she? So, she’s still Daddy’s little girl, hmm?” He couldn’t
