he probably thought he’d got away with it. She really had wrecked his life since coming home from Honolulu. Sticking her tongue in her cheek, she added, ‘Did I mention dating? Definitely need to find time for that.’ Should she bring Gemma’s name into it? No, best leave that to Dad to sort out. For now anyway. She could give him a prod later if necessary.
‘Dating?’ he snorted. ‘Me? At my age? You’ve been taking too many painkillers again.’
‘Yeah, Dad, you. At your ripe old age of fifty-nine.’ Thankfully right then a sound came from inside the house. Charlie usually heard her daughter crying almost before Aimee opened her mouth. Motherhood was so connected. As though a fine but strong strand of love ran between them so that deep inside she felt everything Aimee did.
‘There goes my peace and quiet.’ Charlie smiled, completely unfazed by the interruption.
Despite helping other women bring their babies into the world during her medical training, the overpowering strength of her love for one special little individual placed into her arms moments after the birth had been a revelation. And something Marshall had missed out on.
Her father chuckled as he returned to weeding the flowerbed beneath a pohutukawa tree. Obviously not too fazed by the dating suggestion, then. ‘Go on with you. You’ve been waiting for Aimee to wake up for the last hour.’
‘True.’ Driven by a sense of panic, of time running away on her and not knowing how long she’d be around for Aimee, she desperately wanted to grab every minute she could with her little girl. That same panic caused her to pause now. Was she forcing too much on Aimee? Rushing her through life instead of letting her learn to wait? To take each day, each little step slowly?
‘You should let her cry for a bit.’ Dad unwittingly underlined her thoughts. Sitting back on his haunches, he winked to take the edge off his comment. ‘Never hurt you to wait for your mother to come and get you at that age.’
Charlie laughed, and deliberately refrained from standing up, even though she itched to do so. ‘Maybe that’s why I used to hate lying around in bed once I woke up.’
‘Nah, that was because you were too active for your own good.’
‘I got that from you. Aimee’s the same. Guess it’s in the Lang genes.’ A yawn rolled up her throat and over her lips. It had been a long time since she’d been anything like too active. So long she’d forgotten how it felt to have abundant energy, not to need to go to bed till well after midnight.
When she’d finally gone back to work at the Taupo Family Medical Centre after her illness she’d truly believed she was ready for anything and everything, but her days off couldn’t come round soon enough so she could catch up on sleep. Not easy to do around a toddler with the energy of a trailer load of Energiser batteries.
‘Want me to get Aimee?’ Worry tainted Dad’s voice, adding to her sense of inadequacy. Not to mention her guilt for letting him see that yawn.
She tried for a grin, didn’t do too bad a job. ‘I’m making her wait, like you said.’
Dad grinned right back. ‘Look at you. Almost bouncing in the seat with wanting to go pick her up.’
He did way too much for her. It broke her heart, knowing that when he’d decided to take early retirement so he could start having some fun she’d messed up his plans. Not that she’d asked him to cancel the big trip to Europe he’d looked forward to for years. But being the awesome father he was there’d been no question of what he’d do when they’d learned her dreadful news. He had stepped up for her all her life. More especially after Mum had died. And now he did the same for Aimee.
Would she be half the parent he was? Some days that worried her sick. On the really bleak ones it frightened her to think she mightn’t get the chance to find out.
Aimee had evoked something primal within her. Like flicking a switch, bang, the love had turned on. Never to be turned off. A deep, unconditional love that had fine-tuned Charlie’s protective instincts, while also bringing so much joy to her life. She couldn’t wait for the years ahead to unfold. Already she watched with avarice as Aimee learned to feed herself, to stagger up onto her own feet and totter around the house, to give sticky hugs with those little arms—it all gave her so much pleasure. There’d be plenty more great things to come. She just knew it.
Wearing her Pollyanna hat? Definitely, though she wasn’t so naive as to think her daughter was going to be perfect. Actually, perfection was a fault in itself. Not so long ago she’d believed her life couldn’t get any better and look how that had blown up in her face. She was still recovering, might never return to the peaceful state of mind she’d innocently thought was hers for ever.
She shivered, rubbed her arms. Forced a smile. Pollyanna had quickly disappeared. The black worry that lurked at the edge of her mind expelled her happy moments all too quickly. Would that change one day? One day soon?
‘Charlie?’ Concern laced her dad’s voice. ‘You okay?’ With a lightness she didn’t feel she replied, ‘Sure am.’
Another cry from down the hall. This time Charlie didn’t hesitate. Jumping up, she headed for the door. ‘Yippee. Get up time. I want that first sleep-scented snuggle from Aimee.’
‘Okay.’ Dad conceded quickly enough. ‘Now that my grandgirl’s awake, I’ll get the hedge trimmer out and tidy up out the back.’
Charlie paused, turned back. ‘Dad, why don’t you go play a round of golf instead? The hedge can wait another few days. Take a break from the chores and enjoy yourself.’ Those lines around his mouth hadn’t been there a year ago. They were all due to her. Guilt spread through her like wildfire. ‘I’m so sorry.’
His face softened as he crossed to stomp up the steps to the deck, where he hugged her. His tone was gruff. ‘Cut that out, Charlotte Lang. There’s no point beating yourself up for something you had no say over.’
Sniffing in the dad scent she’d known her whole life, she blinked back tears and dredged up a smile. ‘Have I told you that you’re the best father ever?’ The familiar line fell easily between them.
‘Never.’ That too was the usual response. ‘Tomorrow, if the weather stays fine, I’ll take the boat out on the lake with Billy to do a spot of fishing. How’s that?’
That was progress. ‘Great. I’ll order up a perfect January day just for you. And I’ll get the barbecue ready.’ Of course the trout weren’t so easy to catch in midsummer but the men would have fun trying. At least trolling meant a bigger chance of success than river fishing. And she’d get in steak as a back-up.
Yeah, she had a plan. Plans were good, kept her on track through the rough patches. Then it dawned on her to look around, see the day for what it was. The sun shone bright and hot in the clear blue sky, making everything appear brand new and the flowers on the pohutukawa sharp red. And her tiredness wasn’t dominating her quite so much. In fact, she felt the best she had in a long time.
She surprised herself with, ‘I’m going to start getting fit. Take my bike out of the shed and pump up the tyres.’ She grinned, feeling the most relaxed she had for a long time. ‘That will probably take all my energy and I’ll have to have a nap afterwards, but it’s a start.’
Until the advent of Aimee she’d loved nothing better than to fall out of bed and hit the road on her cycle before going into work. And on her days off most of her spare
