just wasn’t in the game.
Hadn’t been since that night with Amanda by the river.
Scowling, Nathan was alone in his office, thinking about that morning with Amanda. Waking up in her bed, her body wrapped around his, had eased a sore spot inside him he hadn’t even realized was there. Making slow, languid love to her had carried that feeling further, until he was so caught up in her, he’d had to force himself to crawl out of that bed and go to work.
“So much for the plan,” he muttered, taking a sip of his coffee.
He guessed it was safe to say his plan was shot. Not only had he not gotten her out of his system, but she was also all he could think about anymore.
It had all seemed so simple. Get Amanda back into his bed and finally get over her. Let go of the past and move the hell on. Instead, she was deeper into his gut than she had been before. Not quite sure how that had happened, Nathan was even less sure about how to reverse the damage already done. Especially when all he wanted to do was make love to her again.
Hell, he was walking around town with a body so hard and tight, it was all he could do to keep from groaning in public. He needed…hell. He just needed.
Worse, he didn’t want to need Amanda. He wanted to be free of her. Didn’t he? Nathan scrubbed one hand across his face and tried to wipe away all of the thoughts clashing together in his mind.
To distract himself, he stared around the inside of his office, letting his gaze sweep across the familiar symbols of the life he’d built for himself in Royal. But none of it brought him the pleasure he usually found in just being there. Until Amanda came back to town, he’d been content. Now, contentment just wasn’t enough. He wanted more. Wanted her.
The problem was…how to get her.
Oh, sex was great, but that was easy. What he wanted would be more difficult. Hell, he could admit, at least to himself, that he wanted it all. Not just Amanda, but the life they could make together. House. Family. A damn white picket fence.
But he knew the past still loomed between them, a big ugly wall they’d both ignored rather than dealt with.
He leaned back in his chair, kicked his feet to the corner of his desk and crossed them at the ankle. Staring up at the ceiling, he told himself that maybe the past should stay right where it was. Maybe they didn’t have to dissect it. Maybe all they had to do was learn from it and let it go.
Trust would be an issue between them for a while, of course, but he could show Amanda that he had her back now. Over time, she’d eventually come to believe it.
Nodding to himself, he could see the future play out in his mind. He and Amanda, living in his house on the ranch. Having kids that would play with Jake and Terri’s bunch. Long nights and lazy mornings in his bed, wrapped in each other’s arms. It was what they should have had years ago.
And what they would have now.
When the door opened, Nathan looked over at the doorway, a scowl on his face.
“Nice welcome,” Chance said.
“Sorry. I was doing some thinking.” Nathan’s feet dropped to the floor, then he stood up and held out a hand to his friend. “What’s going on?”
Chance’s blond hair looked as though he’d been stabbing nervous fingers through it for hours. His green eyes were troubled and he didn’t meet Nathan’s gaze directly. Not a good sign.
“Everything okay, Chance?”
“Not really,” his friend muttered and rubbed one hand across the back of his neck.
He was backlit by the bright afternoon sunlight and when he turned to close the door, Nathan noticed he locked it, too.
“Okay, what’s this about?”
“Nathan, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think you should know about what people are saying.”
Instantly, Nathan’s back went up and he shook his head. Seven years ago, Chance had been the one to tell Nathan about the rumors spreading. The rumor that Amanda had deliberately ended her pregnancy. Back then, Nathan had been young enough to listen and stupid enough not to question.
Today was different.
“Don’t want to hear it,” he said and turned his back on Chance to walk to a file cabinet on the far wall.
“Don’t you think I know that?” Chance’s voice was reluctant but firm. Clearly, he wouldn’t be leaving until he’d had his say.
Nathan spun around and said, “I don’t give a good damn what people are saying, Chance.”
The moment the words left his mouth, he realized they were completely true. Somehow, he just didn’t care about being the center of gossip. And damned if he was going to listen to anything people had to say against Amanda. He might make mistakes, but hell if he’d make the same ones.
“Well, you’d better listen.” Chance glared back at him. “The word is you’re not the only guy she’s sleeping with. People are saying she’s slipping out of town, meeting some other guy. So if she turns up pregnant this time, who’s to say you’re the father?”
He felt like he’d been punched dead-center in the chest. And for one miserable moment, he let those words slam into his head and heart, too. But they didn’t stay because they weren’t true and he knew it. Knew it down to his bones. Amanda wasn’t a cheat and she wasn’t a liar.
His hands curled into fists at his sides and he took one long step toward one of his best friends.
Chance held up both hands and took a step back. “Hey, I didn’t say I believed any of the talk.”
“Then why the hell are you telling me this?”
He pushed a hand through his hair. “I didn’t want to, but if you want a life with Amanda, then you’d better find out who’s spreading the poison and get it stopped.”
Chance was right. Years ago, someone had spread lies about Amanda aborting their baby. And yeah, now he could see the lies for what they were. Amanda never would have done that. Back then, he’d been too young and stupid to think past his own fury.
Now things were different.
“On that, we totally agree,” Nathan muttered darkly. “I’ll find whoever it is and when I do …”
A couple of days later, the diner was packed and Amanda was still reeling from the realization that she was in love. On top of that, her stress level was sky-high just from keeping what she was feeling from Nathan. Then there was the situation with Pam.
She shot a covert look at her sister, ringing up a customer at the cash register. Things were still strained there, but at least they hadn’t argued again.
“Everything okay?”
Amanda turned and forced a smile for Alex Santiago. She refilled his coffee cup, then set the pot down onto the counter.
“Everything’s fine,” she lied.
He
