he had. He’d gone off to England without a backward glance. She hadn’t expected any long goodbyes. And when she’d sent Brady a letter with the fact she was pregnant, Sam had started dropping off money to help. Sam had never said anything, just handed her the envelope or left it with her mother. Brady hadn’t even written a note.
As embarrassed as Maggie had been, she’d been grateful for the financial help. But the fact that the Wards, who had lost so much family, didn’t want Amber to be a part of their lives left a sour taste in Maggie’s mouth.
As far as she knew, Sam hadn’t spent any time with Amber. He never stuck around long enough for conversation. Maybe Brady shared the pictures that she sent once a year by mail to the Ward farm like everything else she had to share with Brady. Never any response, but the money always came. Never a note or any request to see his child. Just money, as though that was all Amber needed from her father.
“We go to the same store every week, Sam.” She emphasized his name as if he had a few screws loose. “What’s this all about? I have to get ready for work.”
“I heard about your mom.” Sam rubbed the back of his neck. His nervousness was starting to make her worry. What if something had happened to Brady? “I’m real sorry to hear she passed.”
“It was the end of a long battle,” Maggie said automatically. Even though it had been a different cancer that had taken Mrs. Ward, Maggie knew that in this respect Sam and she had something in common. Her gut clenched momentarily.
They stood there awkwardly for a moment. He looked around as if he wanted to be anywhere but here. The feeling was mutual. “I really need to…” She gestured to the screen door.
He hesitantly stepped on the first step. Apparently, he wasn’t going to leave until he’d had his say. “Would you mind if I came in? I need to talk to you.”
She stared him down, trying to determine whether she was willing to listen to anything a Ward had to say. But he seemed open and sincere.
She shrugged and opened the screen door. “Is everyone okay?”
“Yeah. Fine as far as I know.” Sam followed her into the small living room. Out of habit, she gestured to one of the worn recliners. Her furniture may be worn but it was clean and paid for.
“Would you like something to drink?” Manners won out over the burn of anger. Why now? After eight years of silence, why was Sam here? Was he coming to tell her that Brady was through sending money? She’d have to put in more hours as secretary at the furniture store if that were the case.
“No, thanks.” He sat on the edge of the chair, leaned his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands. Then he sat upright and half stood. He gestured to the chair opposite. “This would be easier if you sat.”
Her stomach knotted. She moved toward the chair but didn’t sit. What would be easier?
“I’ve done some stupid things in the past, Maggie.” Sam seemed to think she was in the mood for confessions.
“I’m sure you have, but I have work to do—”
“Sit down, Maggie Brown.” His stern expression had her lowering to the edge of the seat. Obviously remembering where he was, he added, “Please.”
“You have a lot of nerve—”
“Yes, I do.” Sam ran a shaking hand through his shaggy hair. “You have no idea how much nerve I have.”
She crossed her arms over her chest and waited.
“I’ve done some really stupid things—”
“You said that part already.”
He looked up to the ceiling before returning his gaze to her. His eyes softened. “I know Amber is Brady’s.”
She flushed and started to rise.
“But Brady doesn’t.”
She fell into the chair as if he’d punched her in the stomach. The air sucked out of the room and she gasped to draw it back in. Blood thundered in her ears. Her thoughts scattered into a million shards. “What are you talking about? I…I told him. He sends money.”
His eyes remained sad but determined as Sam reached into his pocket and pulled out some opened envelopes. “I’m sorry, Maggie. I thought I was doing right by my brother. Protecting him. I didn’t mean to hurt you or Amber.”
She took the envelopes. Each one was a letter she wrote to Brady, including the first one. One for every birthday.
“Brady doesn’t know about Amber?” Maggie felt as if the room had turned upside down. With her mother needing constant care after chemotherapy, Maggie had been so startled and scared when she found out she was pregnant that she hadn’t known what to do. Brady had vanished overseas somewhere. Taking the cowardly approach, she’d written a letter and sent it to the farm. When Sam dropped off the money, she’d been crushed that Brady didn’t want anything to do with Amber, but maybe a little relieved, too.
“I messed up.” Sam leaned forward again, his hands clasped before him and his head hung. “I want to make this right.”
“Right?” She felt like a mockingbird, but her chest felt hollow and her mind couldn’t put her world right side up. All these years, she’d been angry with Brady and he hadn’t even known.
All those missed birthdays. The long nights awake with Amber when she’d been sick. Brady had missed everything from Amber’s birth to kissing her scrapes and bruises better to holding her when she cried at her grandma’s funeral.
A rush of heat went to her cheeks. She could have tried harder to reach out. Even searched for Brady on the internet. But she’d been too afraid of further rejection to reach out through any means but the letters.
“I got you a plane ticket for this weekend and talked with Penny about watching Amber. I didn’t open your last letter. You should give it to him in person.” He held out the sealed envelope.
She looked at him as if he was the Mad Hatter. “What are you talking about? You walk into my house to tell me you’ve lied to me and Brady for eight years. Do you know how hard it is to raise a child alone? How hard it is to care for your mother and your daughter when both are sick?”
Maggie jumped up and paced away. This was Sam’s fault, not hers. Her mind raced to keep up with her emotions. “You had no right.”
“You’re right.” Sam didn’t move from his spot. His face was grim.
“Why?” Her shoulders shook with the anger bubbling within, but tears pressed against her eyes. A million whatifs weighed heavy on her soul. Would she have had to do it on her own? Would Brady have held her when her world fell apart? Would he have been the strong one when she felt small and overwhelmed? Would he have grown to resent her for keeping him from his dreams? Or would he have rejected her like his brother had made her think? “Why would you do something like that? How could you treat your brother that way? What did I ever do to you?”
Sam rose and set the letter and another envelope on the table. He took a heavy breath and blew it out. “I didn’t think about you. I had my reasons. It’s time to fix this. Go to New York and let Brady know.”
