changed since the preliminary tests in Houston.”
“What if it has?”
He looked at her and shrugged. “I don’t know. I just don’t know what’s going to happen. I feel stronger. It doesn’t mean I’ll be cleared to go back.”
But he still hoped he would be—she could tell. This wasn’t a surprise, but she felt hurt and embarrassed anyway that she’d been falling in love with him and he’d been biding his time. She should have known better. She did know better, but she couldn’t help herself and she definitely couldn’t deal with these feelings right now. She clucked to Thunder and loped away from Jason.
But there wasn’t enough land even on 760 acres to run away from her emotions or her heartbreak.
* * *
JASON WATCHED HER go and knew he had to go after her. Working together to integrate the new facility with the ranch during the last month had been nice. More than nice. He’d seen a life he hadn’t thought he’d ever find. One that hadn’t been his dream but that he was coming to enjoy and feel more at home in every day.
He hadn’t been completely truthful with Molly just now. Each week he sent a sample of his blood to Dr. Tomlin. She was watching his calcium levels and last night he’d gotten an email from her that said she saw some improvement. She’d also shared some new information about Candice’s blood work. Candice was scheduled to go back up to the International Space Station in one month’s time. She’d do a shorter stint, the shortest that NASA ran, just four weeks on the station, and then she’d be back for another evaluation. He wasn’t sure what all this meant for his prospects and he didn’t want to worry Molly until he knew for certain.
But whatever happened, he knew he didn’t want to lose Molly. So he followed her across the fields. His horsemanship had improved drastically since he’d come back here in May.
He pulled Carl—now his personal horse—to a stop as it struck him that leaving the ranch and Molly wasn’t going to be easy. His commitment to her wasn’t just something to get him through losing the career he’d always wanted, he realized, now that there was a possibility of him returning to active duty.
But how could he say that to her? Despite everything they’d said to each other, she seemed to think that he was either going to stay on the ranch forever or it was over between them. Didn’t she?
He clucked and nudged Carl with his heels to get him moving again and finally caught up with Molly at the pond. She’d dismounted and left her horse—a well-trained horse would stay even if the reins were just left on the ground rather than being tied to something. He did the same with Carl. He found Molly on the path and followed slowly.
She turned when she heard his boot steps getting close and he noticed she’d been crying.
“Molly.”
She just shrugged and shook her head. “I want you to stay. I want to be enough for you and not have to compete with NASA. I know it’s selfish.”
He reached for her, but she stepped back and he dropped his arm awkwardly to his side.
“You are enough for me. Sometimes I think I’m not enough for you,” he said, tackling the easiest problem first. “These past months have been...an awakening for me. Never in my life had I imagined I’d find a place to call home that wasn’t part of the space program.”
She watched him with those wide, weary eyes of hers and he was aware that he had to do and say the right things now. Because he loved her.
He stumbled over the thought in his mind.
He loved Molly. He couldn’t say for sure when it had happened. Maybe he’d loved her since the first night he’d come back and she’d dropped all her barriers and let him see the real woman. Or maybe he’d loved her since he’d first seen her dark eyes and chestnut braids.
“I’m glad you feel at home,” she said. “You always kept a part of yourself isolated when you lived here before.”
“I know. I’ve been afraid to trust another person. It’s easier at NASA because it’s all about rank and performance, but this—” he gestured to the two of them “—this is scary because the last time I thought of home like this was before my mom died.”
She nodded. “It’s different for me. This has always been my home. It’s hard for me to imagine being anywhere else. But you’ve always wanted to leave, even when you were a kid, to get out there in the stars. I can understand it, but it’s hard for me to figure out how we could be together if you’re still able to go on missions. You’d be gone for such long periods of time.”
“It would be hard,” he admitted. But it was his life. He loved Molly and he loved space. He didn’t think he could choose between them. If his health forced him to be grounded, it would be easier in some ways. The decision would be out of his hands. But something deep inside of him felt that he had improved enough, that the exercises and treatments Dr. Tomlin had prescribed had done their job. And that would leave him in a situation he never thought he’d be facing.
“So what are we going to do?” she asked.
“Just keep on the way we have been for the last month. Nothing has changed. I brought it up...well, it doesn’t matter. I made a commitment to you and the facility and I’m going to keep it no matter what the tests show,” he said.
“Are you sure?” she asked.
He had this one moment where his conscience battled with him. He loved Molly.
Love.
He couldn’t remember the last person he’d loved. His mom, he supposed, but that was so long ago she’d faded into a distant memory and sometimes he couldn’t remember her face. But Molly was here before him. Standing there looking very unlike herself with her arms wrapped around her waist.
She needed him. He had a chance to become like the strong, caring men he admired. But he’d have to give up his dream.
Wasn’t that what love was?
Sacrifice?
He didn’t know for sure, but he made his choice. “I’m positive.”
* * *
TWINKLE LIGHTS AND tiki torches illuminated the dock area and beach around the pond later that evening. Music, laughter and raised voices filled the air. Molly wandered among the ranch hands, construction crew and astronauts who’d come out for the party. She hadn’t seen Jason in the last thirty minutes, but that was okay.
They had spent a lot of time alone today before everyone had arrived. She was worried she’d forced him into a decision he’d come to regret.
“What are you doing over here looking all pouty, sunshine?” Rina asked as she came up to Molly and handed her a plastic margarita glass.
She took a sip of the frozen strawberry goodness. “I think I might have manipulated Jason today to do something he doesn’t want to.”
“Damn, girl, I wasn’t ready for that,” Rina said. “I thought you were sad that the facility would be opening soon.”
It was the end of the
