well, that’s what Ronni said. She pointed out what we already talked about—that I can’t put her in day care for a while and that I have to be at work, so a baby nurse is a good solution. In a few weeks I can look into home day care until she’s old enough for a regular place. I’ve even been thinking of getting a college kid or someone like that to look after her at my office. Not the one at the hospital,” he said. “I meant after the project’s done. There’s room and I’d see her more.”
Kelly impulsively touched Tanner’s arm. “I know it seems overwhelming right now, but you’re taking things one step at a time. That’s what’s important. The baby nurse is a great idea. It will give you some space to make other decisions. As for bringing your child to work—I think it’s terrific that you want to.”
“Yeah?” He looked at her briefly, before returning his attention to the road. “I guess. Ryan told me that Lily said she’d be available in a pinch. Lily is Ryan’s mother-in-law.” He frowned. “Is that right? Her daughter was Ryan’s first wife. When Patricia died, Lily moved in to help with the kids. She’s still there and plans to stay. Anyway, she said she’s happy to help out, but I figure she’s got her hands full with Ryan’s three. Plus Ronni’s pregnant, so that’s going to make four kids.”
He pulled into the parking lot. “I wish I could take time off work, but with the hospital wing still behind schedule, it’s not possible.” He stomped on the brakes and swore under his breath. “I’ve never seen that before. And it’s huge.”
Kelly glanced out the window and saw the Baby Town store. Pastel blocks, the size of trucks, stood above the entrance. Teddy bears and rabbits tumbled and marched across the painted windows.
After parking the car, he stopped the engine, but didn’t get out right away. “I spoke to Lucy,” he said. “She’s going to sign off on the kid. She doesn’t want to be involved. I know the relationship was a mistake, but I’m kind of surprised she’s just going to walk away. It’s not that she can do it so much as it seems like it’s going to be easy for her.”
Kelly didn’t know what to say to that. After all, she’d given up a child, too. But for her, it had been anything but easy. In fact the pain continued to haunt her, fifteen years after the fact. “Not every woman finds it easy to walk away.”
“Probably,” he agreed. He looked at her. “Listen to me. This is the most I’ve talked in a month. I’m sorry for dumping it all on you.”
“Tanner, don’t apologize,” she told him. “Really. I’m happy to listen. You’re working through a lot, and in my opinion, you’re incredibly calm.”
“That’s on the outside.”
“In time you’ll be calm on the inside, too. You and your daughter will get used to each other. You’ll develop a relationship with rituals that will be so meaningful, you won’t be able to imagine what life was like without her. I’m happy to be a part of this.”
“I have this bad feeling that the only reason I’m going forward with this is that I don’t have a clue as to how hard it’s going to be.”
Kelly couldn’t help laughing. “Unfortunately, you’re exactly right.”
This was hell, Tanner thought grimly from his place in the center of the store. Hell with miniature furniture and too many cutesy, fuzzy things. He looked around and spotted Kelly talking to one of the salespeople. The older woman was nodding and typing information into a computer.
Not knowing what else to do, he glanced at a display of quilts. They were small, about four feet by three feet. He turned over the price tag and took a step back. Six hundred dollars? He peered at the quilt again, trying to figure out why on earth it cost so much. Jeez. Six hundred dollars. He thought about the list in the book and swallowed hard. Kelly hadn’t been kidding about his credit limit. He wondered if it was going to be enough.
“Okay, here’s the plan,” Kelly said, coming to stand next to him. “I had the store—What’s wrong? You’re practically green.”
He pointed to the quilt. “It’s six hundred dollars. If a scrap of cloth costs that, how much is a crib?”
She looked from him to the quilt, then fingered the cream colored lace and read the tag. When she returned her attention to him, humor danced in her hazel brown eyes. “Don’t panic, big boy. That’s a handmade quilt, covered with imported lace. They’re a one of a kind item, and not for the likes of us.”
He breathed a sigh of relief.
“Besides,” she added casually, “babies spit up on just about everything, so it’s better to have bedding you can just throw in the washer.”
Her words planted an image in Tanner’s brain that made him uncomfortable. “How much do they spit up?”
“Don’t worry about that now,” Kelly said. She waved a long computer printout in front of him. “This is a basic baby registry. It lists every possible item a baby could use. Between that and the list in the book, we’ll be sure to remember the important stuff. This second list tells us what’s in stock. There’s no point in falling in love with a crib or dresser only to find out it’s not available.”
“I don’t generally fall for furniture,” Tanner muttered, but Kelly wasn’t listening.
“Let’s start with the big stuff,” she said. “Crib, stroller, car seat, changing table, dresser, maybe a couple of mobiles. Then we’ll move onto linens, bath stuff and clothes.” She tapped the list. “You’ll want some kind of portable crib, as well, so you can take her to a baby-sitter, or even to work. They have some that turn into playpens for when they’re older.”
Tanner could only nod as he tried to take in what she was saying. He felt as if he’d entered a strange and frightening new world and he wondered if it was too late to go back.
“Furniture,” Kelly said, pointing to the large display on the far side of the store.
He followed her down an aisle crammed with car seats and wondered how on earth he was going to pick one. Maybe he should have asked Ryan to come along. He knew about this kind of stuff. But it hadn’t occurred to Tanner that buying a kid a bed or a car seat was going to be complicated.
“How big is the room?” Kelly asked. “And is there furniture in there now? Do we have to work around anything?”
Tanner shook his head. “I have a guest room, but it’s not furnished. It’s about twelve by fourteen, with a big closet.”
“Okay, so size isn’t an issue. Basically all cribs serve the same function. These are all new and look well-made. The important factors are the height of the mattress when it’s all the way up, and the spacing of the rails. So pick what you like and then we’ll check for the safety features. I’m guessing all of them are going to comply with safety recommendations.”
Pick what he liked? He looked at the various displays. Many were set up to look like individual rooms. There were dividers covered with wallpaper and border prints, cribs filled with ruffled comforters and too many stuffed animals for any man to be comfortable. He found himself stepping around fuzzy bears and pink elephants. There were tigers and lions, fluffy kittens, puppies and some creatures of undetermined species.
He glanced from the displays to Kelly and back. The cribs all looked the same
