Which had also been the source of Mom and Dad’s discontent and...
This, this was why he didn’t seek out Leah. Even if she was the most wonderful person in the world, she made him think about things he’d much rather not think about.
“You sure everything is okay?”
“Yeah, sorry. I was kind of trying to avoid a weird situation.”
“Weirder than this?”
“Ha. Maybe. I don’t know.” This was pretty weird, after all. He didn’t know much about how to start conversations with Leah. Conversations that wouldn’t irritate him or make him feel like crap, anyway.
“Well, come on in.” Leah moved out of the doorway and into her little shed of a work area. It was a mess. Tools and light fixtures and wires everywhere. Not much room to move around, either.
“What exactly were you avoiding?” she asked, picking up a few wires and studying them.
“Just avoiding someone, and there your place was. So I said I needed to come say hi to you.”
“Wow, you must have really wanted to avoid them. They trying to sell you something?”
“Oh, no, we live in the same apartment complex and were going for a run at the same time and she’s nice, really, I just...it was...I’m not good with small talk.”
Leah put the wires down, eyebrows raised. “She?”
Shit. “Well, yes. I work with her, actually. She’s my field training officer.” He didn’t like the way Leah was looking at him, all considering, and he really didn’t like the way he was fidgeting and the way his face was getting hot.
“What does field training officer mean?”
“Basically she’s observing while I learn the ropes of a new department.” Marc backed toward the door. Hopefully Tess would be out of sight by now and he could slip out and—
“Ah.”
He scowled. “What does that ah mean?”
“Oh, nothing.”
“Good.”
But then Leah grinned. “Must be a Santino trait.”
“What?”
“Lusting after the boss.”
“She’s not my boss.” Shit. “And I’m not lusting. Also, please don’t ever use that word in my presence again.”
Leah chuckled. “Fair enough.” She studied him for a second before returning to a workbench scattered with tools and debris and a bunch of things he wouldn’t even begin to know how to make sense of. “You can hide out here as long as you want.”
“Thanks.”
“And, you know, that’s an open invitation sort of thing. Not just for hiding out, either.”
“Thanks.” Even though he didn’t feel thankful. He felt guilty. Guilty for not being the kind of brother he should be. Guilty for moving here but not making any overtures toward Leah.
Guilty because even knowing he should make an effort—he didn’t want to. His hand grasped the doorknob. “I should head back.”
Leah’s smile was small, not much of a smile at all, really. “Sure thing.”
“I’ll, uh, see you soon.”
“Sure.” She focused on her wires and, well, he was a dick. Plain and simple.
“Um, you know, I work all weekend, but maybe we could go out to lunch...or something sometime next week.”
She stopped fiddling with her wires, surprise written all over her face as she looked at him. “Well, sure.”
“Great. I’ll call you.”
The corner of her mouth quirked up. “That’s a brush-off in dating code, but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt in sibling code.”
“I will call you.”
“Yeah, you’re a stand-up kind of guy, Officer Santino. That field training lady doesn’t stand a chance.”
He scowled. “Not happening.”
She made a considering noise and stood, crossing over to him before hesitating. “I was going to go for a hug but...not my forte.”
“Yeah, not mine, either.” Though hadn’t he done an admirable impression of it last night? With a woman not related to him. A woman he barely knew.
A woman who was an adult and basically still abused by her father.
“We should try,” he said, his voice uncomfortably rough. His family had its issues, deep uncomfortable ones, but they certainly didn’t physically or purposefully hurt each other.
“Really? Because—”
It was awkward, and ridiculous, but it felt necessary. He reached around Leah and gave her an uncomfortable one-armed squeeze. “There.”
“Please. I’m begging you. Never again.”
“No promises.”
She groaned. “Ah, so this is the brother torture everyone else complains about.”
Thirty years, and she was just now experiencing some stupid little thing normal brothers and sisters did all the time. It wasn’t anything near as bad as Tess’s father’s treatment of her, but he felt guilty all the same. As if he’d failed.
“Don’t get all...whatever. You can’t exactly torture the little sister when she spends all her time in the hospital or running away. It is what it is.”
“No, I know.” But Leah had been healthy for a lot of years now, and she’d been talking to the family regularly for the past year and a half. He had been the one to not make any overtures.
Changing that filled him with dread, but ignoring the fact it was his duty wasn’t an option. “I should get back, but I will call you about lunch next week.”
“All right, but if there’s hugging involved, I won’t be held responsible for my actions.”
“Noted.” Marc turned the knob. He’d save the dread and discomfort for later. For right now. Right now he was just doing the right thing, and that was all that mattered.
He stepped outside, grimacing when he saw Tess’s form jogging up on the path. Not quite long enough.
“That her?”
“Yeah.”
Leah laughed and gave him a shove. “Go get ’em, tiger.”
“I’m not—”
But
