not only met, but understood each other. Spoke in perfect words that each other alone could understand. How had she ever thought they were different? How had she ever looked at him and seen a gulf they couldn’t bridge? They had. She was closer to him now, in this moment, than she had ever been to another person in her life.
It was powerful, fearsome, awe-inspiring. These needs that only the other could meet. That only the other could inspire. A hunger only he could arouse and satisfy.
“Alex,” she said, arching against him, the source of her pleasure meeting his heart and body as he thrust deep within her. A shower of sparks rained over her, pleasure breaking over her like an electrical storm, flashes of light blinding brilliance behind her eyes. She closed them, but only for a moment. Then she forced them open again, watched his face as he, too, gave himself over to this thing between them. She watched as that face, that face that could have been carved from granite, softened, the lines on his forehead shifting, a look of pure pain and desperation contorting his features as he growled his release, his entire body trembling as he spilled himself deep inside of her. She held him, as pleasure continued to rack his frame, as aftershocks kept moving through her in an endless wave.
They were connected in this. This pleasure. This moment.
And when it was over they simply lay there, entwined in each other. Breathing together.
She knew that Alex would feel regret later. Because no matter what he said he wasn’t a monster. She had to wonder why he was so desperate to convince not only others, but himself, of the fact that he was.
She knew it came down to his fear that he would become like his father. She knew enough about him to understand that. But she also knew him well enough to understand it would never be him.
He had made some mistakes in his life with his family, but he had been a young man. Barely more than a boy. She had made far fewer mistakes. If only because she interacted with less people. Life wasn’t as difficult when you hid from it.
He looked at himself and saw nothing but a potential monster and he was dedicated to forcing others to see the same.
She knew better.
He was so dry. So funny and brilliant. He cared. Very deeply. For her, for everyone else around him. He pretended he didn’t. The way he looked after his grandfather, the pain that laced his voice when he spoke of his half brother and his past treatment of him, the way he had taken such great care with her, told an entirely different story than the narrative Alex had spent so many years carefully constructing.
He had only given when she had pushed. And both passed the point of resistance. He had never pressured her for anything, and she knew without a doubt that he never would have.
He was a hero in her eyes and yet he insisted on casting himself as the villain.
She wished, more than anything, that he could see himself through her eyes. That he could see himself clearly. She would make it her mission to change his thoughts on himself. She would.
No, it wouldn’t change in a moment. No matter how much she might want to. She was going to have to show him, over time. Show him the man he really was. But in order to do that she would have to stay with him. Leave Aceena. Convince him to attempt to make some kind of relationship with her. He had arrangements with women, he had said as much. Why couldn’t he have one with her?
Eventually...he would have to see that they were good together. Her thoughts were spinning, her entire body humming. There was so much going on in her brain. But she had never been good at letting things rest. She was always trying to solve the problem. Always trying to get down to the truth. To figure out the source of the problem so that she could stamp it out.
Unfortunately, there was no history book she could look at to conduct a simple study on Alex.
She would have to study him in person. Not a hardship, really.
“You’re very quiet,” he said.
“Thinking,” she said honestly.
“About?”
She bit her lip. She could hardly tell him that she was plotting ways to convince him to love not only her, but himself.
“You’re very good in bed,” she said, rather than telling him the exact thoughts that were on her mind. That was what her body was thinking about, anyway. “Granted, I have no one else to compare to, but I can’t imagine there are very many men who exceed your skill.”
“It isn’t about skill, Gabby.” He brushed her hair out of her face, his body still entwined with hers. “This is chemistry.”
A burst of warmth fired up in her heart, then fizzled out just as quickly. It was more than that. For her, it was so much more than that.
She would show him. She would find a way. After a lifetime spent hiding away she knew one thing for certain. After standing in the light with Alex, she would never retreat back into the shadows.
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