one time, I thought I was as wise as you think you are now. A private conversation, a shared joke, the touch of a hand in friendship, or a waltz or two in public would lead to nothing. It was all innocent flirtation that I could stop before it got out of control. But considering our histories, you should sympathise with how easy it can be to respond poorly in the heat of the moment. And there is much heat in a forbidden kiss.’
He sank down on the couch, his head in his hands. ‘The next morning, I realised what I had done, and could not bring myself to look in the mirror. I was too ashamed. And that wasn’t the last time. I could not seem to stop it until I had driven myself near to ruin and hurt family and friends with the indiscretion.
‘And I am not as noble as my good friend Timothy, to be all understanding and forgiveness. Should he try to do to me what I did to him, I am more like to put a ball through him in the heat of anger than look quietly aside. I do not wish it to end thus.’ He looked up at her, in desperation. ‘If you truly prefer him to me, tell me now, and I will request the annulment that you once offered. Then you will be free to do as you like.’
‘I would make you pay back the money you have used,’ she countered.
‘You would have no right to do so. An annulment will make it as if you have never been married. Control of your estate would revert to your brother. I think he would consider the debts I incurred to be money well spent. The man would be more likely to kiss me than you would.’ He put his hand on hers. ‘I do not like Hector, and have no desire to aid him in controlling you, but neither will I allow you to shame me in public or destroy an already fragile friendship.’
She shook her head in amazement. She could not decide which was stranger: her husband’s jealous raving, or the twisted logic of the upper class. ‘So if any man speaks to me, you will be convinced that I am unfaithful, like all the other wives. And then you will corner me to rant, as you have tonight, although you have no reason.’
He gave her a sad smile, and nodded.
She continued. ‘And although in time you are likely to stray from me, I will be allowed no indiscretions at all, for you do not wish people to think that your heirs are illegitimate. You understand that there is no point in suspecting the legitimacy of your children until you have some?’
And now, he was looking at her with speculation. The silence drew out long between them.
‘But if you did, that would mean …’ Her pulse quickened in response. ‘Oh, no.’
‘We could remain unfortunately childless, I suppose. And celibate. And hope that my brother marries and produces. But that is a lot to assume. If there is any hint of infidelity on your part, annulment will continue to be an option.’
‘You mean to hold that over my head for the rest of our lives?’
‘If necessary.’ The intensity of his gaze grew. ‘Or we could try another way.’
Her pulse was racing now, as it began to occur to her that he was serious in what he was suggesting. ‘That was most definitely not part of the original bargain.’
‘When you planned to marry, you must have considered the possibility.’
Strangely, she had not. She had assumed it would be hard enough to get a man to the altar, and that any so doing would not be the least interested in sexual congress with her, if other opportunities presented themselves. But the need for succession had not been part of her plans. And now, Adam was looking at her in quite a different way than he did after political discussions in the study. He was looking at her as a woman, and she remembered what Tim had said to her.
She sat down beside him, afraid to meet his gaze lest he see how she felt about him. ‘I’d never have married a duke had I known it would become so complicated.’
‘I am sorry to have inconvenienced you,’ he said, not the least bit contrite. ‘But I will need an heir. Once one has married, it makes sense to look at the obvious solution to the problem.’
‘And you would … with me … and we …’
He nodded. ‘Two male children are preferable, but one might be sufficient. If it was a boy, and healthy. If the first is a daughter, then …’
‘But that would mean … we would … more than once …’
‘Most certainly. Repeatedly. For several years at least.’
Repeatedly. She sat there, eyes round, mouth open, mind boggled. Unable to speak at all.
He continued. ‘When you think of it, a sacrifice of a year or two, against the rest of your life, is not so long a time. You are rich enough to have nannies and governesses to care for any offspring. It would in no way interfere with your studies, for it must not be too hard to keep up on reading while in your months of confinement. What else would you have to do?’
‘And once you have an heir …’
‘Or two,’ he prompted.
‘Then I am free to do as I like?’
‘We both will be. The marital obligations are fulfilled. Gossip is silenced. We can go our separate ways, as planned, even while remaining under the same roof.’
‘Like everyone else.’
‘If we wish.’
He was right, which made it all the more maddening. After the initial display of temper, he had presented his case most rationally. He was not asking more than an average husband would expect. She had been the one to make the unreasonable request. But he was quite upfront about his willingness to return to her plan, once the niceties were performed. Other than the absolute terror she felt, when she thought of what they would do together, she could find no flaw in his logic.
She stared at him. ‘And you are willing to … with me.’
‘Of course.’ He said it as though the fact somehow answered her question.
‘But when we married … there was no plan to … I never expected that you would want …’
He smiled. ‘If I had found the idea repellent, I would never have agreed to continue with the marriage. And I will admit, as we have grown familiar with each other, I have been giving the matter some thought. I have no wish to force you, of course. But neither can I stand idly by while you take a lover.’
If he was to be believed, he had been faithful to her, despite opportunity and temptation, for the brief duration of their marriage. And it must be true, for he would gain nothing by lying, since she did not care.
But if she did not care, then why was the idea so flattering? As was the idea that he was seriously considering … She looked at him, sitting beside her, with the candlelight in his eyes, and the beginnings of a beard shadow on his pale cheek. He was the most beautiful man she had ever seen. She could not help an uncontrollable attraction. It was why she had learned to look at him as little as possible, much as one learned not to stare directly into the sun.
‘Are you planning to answer today?’ he asked. ‘Because you have been quiet for a very long time, and I find it unnerving. If you wish more time to consider, I will understand.’
‘No. No, really I am fine.’ Tim had said she should let him charm her. And
