me. This won’t work.’ She didn’t know how she summoned the strength to speak calmly, when inside it felt as if she were crumbling.
For what seemed an age he held her, his gaze sharp on her face. Then finally, when she’d almost given up on him responding, he released her and turned away, his shoulders hunching.
Instantly Luisa missed his warmth, his strength. She looked at her hands, where he’d gripped her so tightly, and it hit her she wasn’t trembling any more.
Stunned, she looked to Raul, the distracted way he shoved a hand through his hair. She stared, not believing what she saw.
It was him. He was shaking all over.
‘Raul?’ Luisa’s voice sounded hollow, as if it came from far away. She didn’t understand what was going on. Her big, strong husband shook like a leaf.
‘Raul! What is it?’
He didn’t answer and she reached out a tentative hand to his shoulder. She felt the tremors running through his large frame.
‘Raul!’ Fear welled. Was he ill?
‘I can’t. I …’ His head sank between his shoulders.
Frantically Luisa tugged at his upper arm, turning him towards her. She rose onto her knees and shuffled closer.
‘What is it? Please, tell me.’
Finally he swung his head towards her. He was haggard as she’d never seen him, his flesh drawn too tight across the bones. Only his eyes looked alive in that spare face. They glittered, overbright.
‘I can’t lose you, Luisa.’ His voice was a whisper of anguish that tore at her. ‘God help me, I can’t let you go. When you said you had to get away I knew I couldn’t force you to stay any longer. But …’
‘Raul?’ She gulped. ‘I don’t understand. What are you saying?’
Luisa stared, dumbfounded, at the man she’d heard give speeches in four languages, charming, persuasive Raul, struggling to get his words out. Her grip eased on his arm and her hand slid up in a soothing caress.
‘I need to look after you, Luisa. You and our baby.’ Her heart somersaulted at the sound of those words: our baby.
‘We’ll come to some arrangement.’ Much as the idea of part-time parents pained her, she knew their baby needed them both.
‘I don’t want an arrangement.’ He lifted his head, the glitter in his eyes different, almost dangerous. ‘I want my wife and child. Here.’ He reached out to grab a rolled up paper from the foot of the bed. ‘This will prove how much I want you here.’
With fumbling hands he thrust it at her, almost ripping the thick parchment as he hastened to unroll it.
‘It’s all in Maritzian.’ Despairingly she skimmed the document, too distracted to concentrate properly. All she took in was the column of seals and signatures at the bottom, beginning with the flourish of Raul’s formal signature and the royal dragon seal.
‘What is it, Raul?’ She’d never seen him like this, so agitated she wanted to cradle him close.
‘It authorises a change in the royal succession from the moment I’m crowned. On that day you’ll become Queen.’
She frowned. ‘That’s no change.’
He shook his head. ‘Queen, not royal consort. You’ll be my equal, my partner in ruling the kingdom.’ His gleaming gaze met hers and the force of it warmed her very soul. ‘How else can I prove what you mean to me? How much I need and trust you?’
Her eyes widened. ‘But you can’t do that! I’m not … not … I don’t have the experience. I wouldn’t know what to do. I—’
He grabbed her hands and held them tight. ‘You’ll learn. I’ll teach you.’ He kissed her palm and shivers of delight ran through her.
‘But Maritz isn’t ready for this. I’m not good at—’
‘Maritz will adapt. You’re capable and honest and caring. You’ll make a perfect queen. For my country. For me. For our child.’ His gaze dipped to her belly and heat sizzled through her.
‘But I break all the rules.’
‘Sometimes they need to be broken. There’s more to life than protocol, you know.’ He smiled, a slow, devastating smile that heated her from the soles of her feet to the top of her head.
‘You’re a princess to make anyone proud. Already our people respect and care for you, because they see how you care about them. You’ve helped them when it counted. You’ve helped me. You’ve changed my life and taught me hope.’
Luisa’s brain whirled. It was too much to comprehend.
‘Can you forgive me, Luisa? Enough to stay and give me another chance?’
She watched him swallow hard and searched her heart for a response. She loved him but was that enough to face the future? To build a life together even in the light of this momentous gesture of faith?
If he hauled her into his arms and swept her away on a tide of passion it would be easy to say yes. She yearned for that. But life wasn’t so simple.
‘It’s not about forgiving the past. It’s about the future.’ She drew a difficult breath, wondering if he’d understand. ‘I want a real marriage. A happy family. I want my child to enjoy being a child, with parents who really care. I want—’
‘Love,’ he finished for her on a husky whisper that pierced her. ‘And trust and respect.’ He nodded. ‘You deserve it, Luisa. That’s what I want to give you. If you’ll let me try.’
Her breath caught in her throat at the look in his eyes.
‘I love you, Luisa. I want you by my side.’
Dazed, Luisa stared into his tense face. A pulse jerked at the base of his neck and another beat at his temple. He looked like a man on the edge.
‘It can’t be,’ she whispered, stunned into immobility.
‘It’s true.’
Silently she shook her head, afraid to believe.
‘I didn’t realise it myself.’ His mouth twisted in a lopsided grimace that made her want to cuddle him close. ‘I’d spent so long explaining away my feelings because the alternative was too terrifying. All my adult life I’ve worked to shut off my emotions. Then you came along. You made me feel so much, so intensely.’
Raul threaded his fingers through hers and tingling heat spread through her bloodstream. ‘I’ve been torn, regretting the way I forced you here, forced you to marry me.’ His eyes flashed. ‘Yet knowing that in my heart I couldn’t be truly sorry because it brought you to me and I couldn’t let you go. How selfish is that?’
He thrust his other hand through his glossy hair in a distracted gesture that made her want to wrap her arms around him. ‘I’d told
