I found a use for them. They’re so freaking bulky you can’t even see my cigarettes—” she reached for her other sock “—or my lighter.”
“You kind of can,” he said, and watched her as she lit it. “I didn’t know you smoked.”
“What, do you not like it or something?”
He made a face. “Not my business.”
True.
“I’d stop if I had to.” She eyed him, and took a drag. “So, why did you want to come out here with me?”
He looked as if this was a subject he’d hoped she wouldn’t broach. “I don’t really know. I kind of … just wanted to talk to you.”
“Oh, really?” She smiled playfully. She was used to this approach. This was much more comfortable for her than what Max was doing. Or wasn’t doing.
People passing by the windows that overlooked the courtyard were noticing them. She blew some smoke out of her lungs and stood in front of him.
“Do you like me, Johnny?”
“I barely know you.” He looked into her eyes. “But I’d like to get to know you.”
“Good. I like you, too.” She focused on the grass beneath her feet. “But I don’t want to get a bad reputation.”
She raised her head, hoping he’d say that Max had told him about what had happened. She envisioned a proud scene in which Max went for high fives and everyone was jealous.
But Johnny just furrowed his brows. “Bad reputation?”
Dammit. “Oh, you know. I don’t want to jump into something with someone too fast.”
“That’s okay, I’m not saying—I just feel like I want to know you. It’s stupid….”
More looks from inside. She smiled winningly at him. “It’s not stupid at all. Let’s go eat lunch.”
They walked down the hallway, Becca telling a story about her old school. He made a joke, and she laughed, laying a hand on his arm. “You are so funny.”
Together they waltzed into the dining hall.
“Let’s sit by ourselves, okay?”
“Sure,” he said.
Becca set her purse down on a table and got a small bowl of soup. As they ate and he talked about whatever it was he was talking about, Becca surreptitiously scanned the hall for Max. Finally she caught him at a crowded table across the room. He wasn’t looking at her. She couldn’t help but glance up every now and then at him. Finally he did look in her direction, then quickly averted his gaze.
It was working, she could tell. He cared if she talked to Johnny. So she didn’t look up again, but directed her attention to Johnny only.
“So how long have you and Max been friends?”
He ignored the change in subject and took a bite of his sandwich. “Since we were kids. We both grew up in D.C.”
“Cool. How come he doesn’t date?”
He looked at her with a small smile. “You like Max, don’t you? See, here I thought you weren’t like every other girl here.”
She laughed, trying to look as though this were preposterous. “I do not! I’m just curious. He’s not even that good-looking, I don’t get the appeal. So many girls like him, and he never dates.” She took a sip of her water. “It’s just weird.”
“Girls are always throwing themselves at him. He doesn’t need to date.” Johnny shrugged. “I guess he’s never gone for the desperate type.”
“Well, who does?”
“True.”
“So,” she said, “tell me something about you.”
Whatever he said, she didn’t listen. She was just trying to look like she thought every word he said was fascinating.
A couple days later, as Becca left her last class of the day, she saw Max going into the gym. She hurried upstairs to put on her “workout clothes” and then walked in, too. She stepped onto a treadmill a few down from his, her headphones on, and acted like she didn’t see Max.
She had to run for fifteen minutes before he came up next to her.
He was in a gray T-shirt, soaked with hard-earned sweat in all of the right places. She lowered the speed and took out her pink headphones.
“Hey,” she said, with a small smile.
He smiled back. “So, you’re hanging out with Johnny now?”
“What do you mean ‘hanging out with’?”
He shrugged. “You tell me.”
“I’m getting to know him, but I’m not hanging out with anyone.”
“Right.”
Not being able to take it anymore, she turned off the treadmill.
“I’m going to get in the sauna. You want to come?”
He considered her for a moment, and then said, “I thought you weren’t hanging out with anyone?”
“I’m not,” she said, and led the way. Then she added, without looking back at him, “And besides, we’ve already done our hanging out. What interest are you to me now?”
“Ha!” he said.
The sauna was already warm. She took off her shirt and her shoes, leaving her in her neon pink sports bra and black nylon shorts. He followed her lead and stripped down, too.
It was the first time she’d really seen his body. It was perfect. The type of body artists would want to sculpt and poets could gab endlessly about. He was lean but strong.
They sat next to each other for a minute in silence, him leaning against the wall with his eyes shut, and her looking around the small brown room. The door had a lock. She leaned forward and turned it.
He turned to her, a small smirk on his face. “Yeah?”
Determination filled her. He had to want her. She couldn’t be just another girl throwing herself at him, but she needed him to do something.
“What? I’m generally quite modest,” she said, “and I just want to make sure no one comes in while I don’t have my shirt on.” She indicated her sports bra.
He nodded, visibly not believing her. “Come here,” he said.
Yes. Now she had the power. “Why?”
“You know why.”
She smiled and stepped up to
