the sea. Before approaching him she stood back, seeing him in a new, hostile light.
This was the man whose bullying had caused Dan’s proposal, thus sowing the seed for the disaster that had followed. This was the man who had made Jackson what he was.
Slowly she approached him.
‘I’m going back to England this morning,’ she said.
‘I hope you have a good journey. Is my chauffeur taking you to the airport?’
‘No, I’ve called a taxi,’ she said. She had no wish to accept favours from him. ‘I’ll say goodbye now.’
Reluctantly, it seemed to her, he turned his head to look up at her. But there was nothing in his eyes. They were as empty as a desert.
‘Goodbye,’ he said.
‘Goodbye.’
When the taxi arrived mother and daughter hugged each other.
‘Goodbye, Mum, I’ll call you when I get home.’
‘Goodbye, Freya,’ Jackson said.
‘Goodbye, Jackson.’
There was no hug between them. They exchanged brief nods, not letting their eyes meet. Both understood that this was goodbye in more than words.
As the taxi pulled away she didn’t look back.
From now on Jackson would be out of her life and out of her mind. But still he haunted her on the flight back to London. Their last terrible quarrel thrummed inside her head, throwing up questions and possible answers.
He’d asked why she was so determined to think the worst of him. It was because she’d once thought the best, and now, from somewhere deep inside her, a protective armour was forming. It would prevent her from ever thinking the best of him again. And that was good. It would save her from a lot of pain.
On that she was resolved.
She would have to reorganise her life in more ways than one, since she had no job and nowhere to live.
As soon as she landed in London she checked into an airport hotel and called her mother.
‘Are you all right?’ Janine asked anxiously.
‘I’m fine. Tomorrow I’m going to sign on with that private nursing agency I worked for once before.’
‘The one that sends you to nurse people in their homes?’
‘That’s right. Then I’ll solve my accommodation problem as well—at least until I’ve made some long-term plans. What’s the atmosphere like there?’
‘Very strange. Amos wants Jackson to tell him more about this falcon god, but Jackson says he hasn’t time to talk. He’s given him a list of websites, so Amos is glued to the computer. If I go into the room he finds an excuse to make me leave.’
‘I guess he thinks he really is a god,’ Freya said wryly.
‘I’m afraid you may be right.’
‘The best of luck in dealing with him. Bye.’
She ate alone in her room, then had an early night. Sleep came easily, but even there the questions clamoured. The bitter pain of discovering that Jackson wasn’t the man she’d thought. The feeling that suddenly nothing in the world was safe, or would ever be safe again. Nothing would drive these away.
He was there in her dreams, regarding her with harsh, angry eyes, uttering cruel words. Cold-hearted. Ill-natured. He had actually called her those terrible names.
She gave a cry and awoke suddenly to find that tears were streaming down her face.
* * *
The next day she registered with the nursing agency, which immediately found her an assignment in London. She told herself that this was the start of a new life that would soon help her to forget the old one.
She often talked on the phone with Janine, who soon had startling news.
‘You’ll never guess what Amos has organised now,’ she said. ‘He’s going to Egypt with Jackson.’
‘Whatever for?’
‘To play at being the falcon god, I suppose. He’s even managed to get the production company on his side. They love Jackson being a Falcon, and now they’ve got two of them. So we can’t stop him. Amos will be coming to London so that he can take the same flight as Jackson. I’ll be coming too, to see him off.’
‘Why don’t you go to Egypt with him?’
‘I would if I thought he wanted me. But things are very strange between us now. Sometimes I look up and catch him giving me an odd look.’
‘What kind of odd look?’
‘I can’t describe it, but it’s one I’ve never seen before. As though he wants to say something but isn’t sure. I almost think he might be going to Egypt to escape from me.’
‘That I don’t believe. Not Amos.’
‘But he’s not the same Amos. He’s a different Amos, and I don’t know who. Now, darling, can we arrange to meet when we come to London?’
‘Easily. My job’s just finishing and I was about to ask for the next assignment.’
‘Take a few days off and join us in the hotel so that we can have a little time together.’
Janine and Amos arrived two days later, and as soon as she met them she knew what her mother meant about Amos. It was as though a quietness had descended on him, making him totally unlike his usual self.
That night there were only the three of them at dinner. Jackson had called to say that there were last-minute affairs he must see to before he could leave the next day. Once again Freya felt herself dividing into two selves. One of them was disappointed not to see him; the other gave a sigh of relief.
She wondered if he too was relieved he could keep their meeting short, because next morning it was late when he joined them at the airport.
‘Sorry,’ he said, embracing Janine. ‘Lost my passport at the last minute. All right now, though. Nice to see you, Freya. Right, Dad, are you ready to go? Good, then we’ll be off. Goodbye, ladies.’
Janine opened her arms to her husband. He came into them, but only for a moment, and again Freya saw the sense of unease that he seemed to carry with him these days.
She was suddenly swamped by an irrational urge to hug Jackson. Despite the hostility that still burned between them it seemed unbearable to part as enemies. Disasters could happen. She might never see him again. Summoning all her courage, she took his arm and said, ‘Don’t I get a hug?’
His smile had a touch of wryness. ‘Are you sure you want me to hug you?’
‘I’ll kick your shins if you don’t,’
