no changing your mind now,” she gently kidded, her voice echoing down the stairwell. “Not when I finally get to spend your money.”
While her words were light and breezy, meant to make him smile, there was something else there. An emotion he sensed, an awareness. He’d not hidden his true feelings from her, after all.
He grimaced, alone at the foot of the stairs, as the door closed, blocking off all sight of her. He turned around, staring up into the deep shadows, feeling the night’s cold wrap around him. He longed for her the way the dark yearned for light. He wished he had a heart to give her.
“Yep, that’s the dress,” Amelia declared with a decisive nod in the sunniest corner of Mrs. Cora Jones’s dress shop. The girl gave her braids a toss. “I knew it the second I saw it in the front window. It makes you even more beautiful, Ma.”
Ma. Mercy’s hand flew to her throat. She would never get over how good that felt. She smiled at her daughter, held out the green skirt and slowly twirled. “Isn’t it a little festive for a wedding? I was expecting something sedate and very somber.”
“Oh, no, this is just right.” Amelia tilted her head to one side, considering, absolutely serious. “It’s a Christmas dress. See the sprigged holly on the bodice? And the velvet skirt is my absolute favorite. Pa won’t let me wear velvet. He says I’m too young, but I’m dying to.”
“Perhaps together we can sew a dress for you. I’m thinking we can find a way to put some velvet on it.” Loving that idea, Mercy turned to eye the plentiful bolts of fabric in this upscale shop. She’d never stepped foot inside such a fancy establishment before or worn a dress like this, with mother-of-pearl buttons and trims of dainty lace and silk.
“Why, that looks lovely on you.” The shop owner bustled over with genteel grace and genuine friendliness. “The perfect dress for your wedding in, what, two days?”
“One and a half now,” Mercy said shakily. “It’s counting down more quickly than I thought.”
“A Christmas wedding is terribly romantic.” Cora Jones selected a red velvet bonnet from the nearby display and set it on Mercy’s head. “I met my husband during the Christmas season. It’s a time for joy. I’ve known Cole a long time. You couldn’t have found a more wonderful man.”
“I think so, too.” Mercy squinted at herself in the full-length mirror, hardly recognizing her reflection. Was she really this woman with a twinkle in her eye, looking slender and elegant in a finely tailored, fashionable dress? Her cheeks were rosy, her skin glowing. She felt so full of life.
The last time she’d felt this way had been her first wedding day. The realization slammed into her, forcing the air from her lungs. She gasped, covering her mouth to hide her dismay. No one noticed. Amelia was busy conferring with Cora about the hat. Cora had turned around to choose a different bonnet. Mercy felt her heart break, remembering that girl she’d been, so full of hope. Love hadn’t turned out quite like she’d expected. She and Timothy had struggled, and while they’d loved one another, they’d grown apart a little more each year of their marriage. She’d longed to be closer, working hard to repair the distance between them up until death took him.
Love and marriage were complicated and not easy, and she’d loved Timothy deeply. Her grief had healed over time, and a new wish had taken hold of her, that one day she would find love again, but this time with a man who loved her at least as much as she loved him. That it could be even better next time around. Of course, it had been only a hope. George’s welfare and happiness came first, which was why she’d agreed to look for a husband when she’d caught the boy climbing down from the backyard tree last summer, wiping tears from his eyes. It hurt not having a pa, he’d said. Agreeing to find a good man to marry hadn’t been about her dreams.
It had been about George’s. Her gaze went to the front window, where the boy was visible bundled in the new winter coat Cole had let him choose from the dry-goods display. George was keeping their mare company, the one Cole had bought for her and given to her earlier in the day. George’s blue knit hat bobbed around as he petted Polly’s nose. The red mare, the gentle lady she was, patiently kept her head low so the boy could easily reach her.
Mercy slipped off the hat and handed it to Cora, who had consulted with Amelia to choose a dark green velvet bonnet. As Mercy took it from them and angled the simple, tasteful hat onto her head, she watched a boy approaching on the boardwalk wave to George. They looked to be about the same age. The other boy had his mother with him. They appeared to be Christmas shopping, judging by all their packages. The boy greeted George with a smile and they instantly started talking as if destined to be friends, the new boy petting Polly, too.
Yes, this was everything she’d hoped for her son. What were her needs compared to that?
“That’s perfect on you,” Cora breathed. “You’re a vision.”
“I’ve never seen anyone so beautiful,” Amelia agreed. “Not ever.”
“You’re sweet.” Mercy gathered the girl in her arms and gave her a quick hug. Definitely sweet. “What about you? Do you have a special dress for the wedding?”
“We already have that taken care of.” Cora patted a wrapped bundle on the counter behind her. “Now that we have a dress for the wedding squared away, we need to get you some everyday things.”
Mercy started to protest, but then she remembered how important this was to Cole. Last night he’d broken her heart with his story. She’d seen a side of the man that moved her still. Last night, he was all she’d thought about when she’d been tossing and turning, trying to sleep. All through the morning he stayed on her mind as she’d gone about wedding preparations and Christmas-type errands in town. She couldn’t forget the brush of his kiss to her forehead, so infinitely gentle, making her fall in love with him even when she knew there was no chance he could ever return her love.
A kiss on the forehead was all the affection she would ever receive from him.
But this wasn’t about her, she reminded herself. It was about George and Amelia. Another glance at the window told her George’s new friend had moved on, but he appeared happier, smiling away as he petted Polly.
“Ooh, finding new dresses for you is gonna be so much fun,” Amelia said, diving toward a rack of lovely winter dresses. “Hmm. George is gonna get real cold if he stands out there for much longer. Mrs. Jones, would it be all right if I got him a cup of hot chocolate?”
“Absolutely.” Cora brightened as if she liked the idea very much. “In fact, I’ll be happy to make you both a cup. Mercy, would you like some, too, or would you prefer a cup of tea?”
“Tea, please.” She took one last took in the mirror as she removed the bonnet. The Lord had answered every one of her prayers. He’d found a good husband for her and a fine father for George. They had a safe home, plenty of food, basic necessities met. They even had Howie and Polly.
I’m so thankful, Father, she prayed silently, her gaze fastened on the window and on her son. Am I wrong for wanting more?
She felt that way. She felt selfish, when as a mother her only concern should be her two children. As if heaven agreed, the sunshine chose that exact moment to dim, fading away to gray shadow. The first snowflakes fell, chunks of white plummeting straight to the ground. No-nonsense, as if driven by a sense
