The other women, who’d moved back in closer, all nodded and murmured their agreement.
They made it sound so easy.
Why, then, was it proving so very, very hard?
CAM WENT TO knock on Tess’s front door, but the sound of voices out the back had him redirecting his path around the side of the house.
Tess, Ty and Krissie all sat on a bright blue rug beside the lemon tree. They sat in a row—Tess in the middle—with legs stretched out in front of them and their backs to the sun, and him.
The scene hit him in a place he’d thought he’d locked up for good. For three beats of his heart a gnawing, ragged ache threatened to split him open. Reaching out, he steadied himself against the boards of the house. He’d dreamed of being part of a picture like this once. Ten short months ago, in fact, though it seemed like a lifetime ago now.
A family.
His jaw clenched. Lance and Fiona had stolen this from him.
A boulder of a lump stretched his throat. His temples pounded.
No! He refused to be beguiled by this dream again. He would never again open himself up to the kind of betrayal Lance and Fiona had inflicted upon him.
Filling Kurrajong House with a family, that had all been a ludicrous, out-of-reach dream. He’d found that out the hard way, just like his father. Unlike his father, however, he had no intention of burying himself on Kurrajong Station and stewing in ‘what might have beens’ and regrets, and waiting for death to come claim him. He’d fill the gaps somehow.
He went to swing away, to retrace his steps to the privacy and solitude of Kurrajong where he could wipe this picture from his mind and replace it with his plans for Africa and adventure, but Ty chose that moment to look up at his aunt. In profile Cam recognised the little boy’s frown and the way it changed his entire demeanour. Noted the hunching of his shoulders and the way he curled himself around his knees. Very slowly, Cam turned back.
‘What if this isn’t a good place?’
Tess tousled his hair, and, although he couldn’t see her face, he knew detail for detail the smile she’d have sent the young boy. ‘How can this not be a good place? Look, we have a lemon tree and sultana cake.’ She gestured to the tree and then the plate that shared the blanket with them.
Ty’s frown didn’t abate. Tess’s shoulders started to tighten.
‘And what about all the nice people we met yesterday? Cam’s mum, Mrs Pritchard, was lovely and she gave me her sultana cake recipe. Plus you guys were great and we now have the names for all the vegetables we should plant in our veggie garden. And what about Mrs Bennet? You both told me she’s the nicest teacher in the world.’
‘Yeah.’ Ty grabbed a dandelion out of the lawn and shredded it.
‘Suzie was nice,’ Krissie volunteered, ‘even if she thinks chickens are boring. She said we could come and play in her pool in the summer.’
‘Nice.’ Tess drew the word out, injecting it with what Cam supposed was the appropriate amount of enthusiasm.
‘Mikey and Ryan have dogs,’ Ty said, but there wasn’t a fleck of enthusiasm in his voice.
Cam shifted his weight. What the hell…?
‘What if bad men keep yelling at us?’ Krissie blurted out.
‘Chickadee, that man yesterday wasn’t bad.’ She gave Krissie a one-armed hug. ‘Like I said before, he was upset, that’s all. And remember, people yell for lots of different reasons.’
‘You don’t yell,’ Ty said.
‘Believe me, if I saw one of Cam’s sheep in my veggie patch, I’d be yelling my head off!’
Neither child laughed.
‘But that man yelled at you!’ Ty burst out.
Someone had yelled at Tess? Cam stiffened. He stepped into the yard. ‘Howdy, gang.’
Both children immediately swung around, fear frozen on their faces. Cold, hard anger lanced through him because then he knew—someone had hurt these kids, had frightened them, and he wanted to find out who it was and tear them from limb to limb.
‘Hey, Cam, nice to see you.’
Behind the children’s backs, Tess mouthed, Smile at him, and it suddenly hit him how intimidating he must appear to these two small kids.
He forced his face to relax into a kind of half grin, although his blood burned and the surface of his skin prickled. ‘You guys have the nicest spot in the sun. Mind if I join you?’
‘We’d like that.’ Tess shuffled over. Both children remained glued to her side. ‘Want some sultana cake?’
He glanced at the plate, hunger rumbled through him, but he shook his head.
‘Did you bring Boomer?’ Ty asked.
Cam kicked himself for not bringing the dog. ‘Sorry, mate, I didn’t. I left Boomer in charge of the sheep.’
‘That is one smart dog,’ Tess said, and Cam watched as the worst of the fear and shadows slowly drained from Ty’s and Krissie’s faces.
‘I just dropped by to talk lawnmowers. I have a ride-on and thought I might whizz it around this place tomorrow if that suited you.’
Tess shook her head, her hair so dark and her skin so golden it made him ache in familiar and unfamiliar ways. ‘Oh, no, you don’t, Cameron Manning. I can mow my own lawn, thank you very much. Though, a lesson in how to operate your ride-on would be greatly appreciated.’
It was obviously important to her to do it herself. He bit down on his urge to argue with her, although it chafed at him. He nodded. ‘Right.’
‘Woo hoo!’ She punched the air. ‘I get to use a ride-on mower. How much fun will that be?’
Krissie finally smiled.
‘So how did yesterday’s luncheon go?’ He rested back on his hands, deliberately casual.
‘Ooh.’ Tess rubbed her hands together. ‘There must’ve been thirty people there.’
‘It was a Saturday. Everyone would’ve made an effort.’
Ty scowled. ‘You didn’t.’
‘No,’ he agreed. ‘But I really wish I had.’ And he meant it.
His stomach suddenly rolled. Why hadn’t he gone? Eleven months ago he’d have been there. But since Lance and Fiona…Nausea burned his throat. Despite all his precautions he was turning into a recluse like his father.
No!
