“Ouch. Do you know what set her off?”
“Yes.” Her heart was hammering, and her palms were damp. “She’d heard that I’d moved in with Tyler.”
“You moved in with Tyler?”
She saw the change in him and wondered why everyone automatically assumed there was something going on. “Yes, because Kayla booked Forest Lodge and there was nowhere else to go! I’m staying with him until I can sort something else out.”
There was a long, pulsing silence. “I’m starting to understand why your mom was stressed out.”
“She wouldn’t stop talking about it. She told me I should move away, that I should see other people—oh, she went on and on and the only way to shut her up was—I mean, I told her I was—” she shrugged awkwardly “—well, seeing someone.”
Josh looked at her steadily. “Judging from your expression and the fact you haven’t been able to look me in the eye since you climbed out of your car, I’m guessing I’m that someone.”
“I’m sorry.” Guilt mingled with mortification, and she covered her face with her hands. “I don’t know why I said it. She wouldn’t stop telling me I was wasting my life, that I should date other people, and it slipped out, and then I tried to undo it and I couldn’t, and the whole thing is a mess, and I know she’s going to tell people because she thinks you’re the perfect catch—”
“Hey, calm down. That’s a lot of words in a short space of time.” Strong hands locked around her wrists, and he gently drew her hands away from her face. “You need to breathe, honey.”
The honey made her guilt worse. “I’m so sorry, Josh. I don’t know what I was thinking. And now you’re going to go into the store and everyone will be asking you and—oh, you know what they’re like. They gossip. I’m going to call her in a minute and tell her it was a lie. I’ll tell her she has to back off.”
“Don’t call her. I have a better idea.”
She forced herself to look at him, expecting anger and seeing amusement. “You do?”
“Yeah, we go on that date.”
“We can’t. Josh, there will be gossip.”
“I handle drunks, car thieves and even the occasional armed robber. I think I can handle gossip.”
“I can’t let you do that. I wish I’d never said it. I should have been assertive and told her my love life was my business, but the wrong thing came out of my mouth. I wanted to stop her.”
“Then let’s stop her. When is this date of ours?”
Her face was as hot as a fire pit. “I told her Tuesday.”
Josh considered. “It will take a bit of juggling, but I guess I can do Tuesday. I have a meeting with the mountain rescue team at six to talk about the winter season, but I’ll be through by seven-thirty.”
A skilled rock and ice climber, Josh was a training officer for the Snow Crystal Mountain Rescue Team.
“Are you sure?” She couldn’t shake the embarrassment. “I’ll pay. And I’ll meet you somewhere.”
“No.” He was thoughtful. “I’ll pick you up from Tyler’s place. Eight o’clock suit you? We need to go somewhere public so that news of our date will be spread around the local population. That will keep your mother happy for a while and keep her off your back. And now I have to go. I’m late for a planning meeting about the next snowfall heading our way.”
“You don’t have time for this.”
“It’s the usual drill. We’ll suspend parking, pre-treat the roads and keep the plows running through the storm. Whatever the weather brings, we still have to eat.” Josh was calm. “I’ll book somewhere in town.”
“It’s not fair to you.”
“It’s dinner, that’s all,” he said mildly. “Two friends sharing food and talking. It doesn’t have to be more complicated than that.”
“Doesn’t it? What happens afterward?”
“We’ll work that out when we get to the end of dinner. We can either have dinner again, or we can publicly declare we’re not suited. You can say you have an aversion to dating a cop. I don’t know—we’ll think of something.”
“I feel like I’m using you.”
“You’re not. You’ve been honest with me.” He hesitated. “Maybe I’m out of line saying this, especially as I think you know the way I feel about you, but we’ve known each other a long time, and I don’t want to see you hurt. In this case I think you should listen to your mom. Tyler isn’t the settling-down type. Having his daughter living with him isn’t going to change that.”
It was the first time he’d put his feelings into words, and hearing it was somehow worse than suspecting. “Josh—” It was agony to think he might be hurting as she was hurting. “We’ve been friends a long time and—you’ve never said anything and—” she breathed “—and I have no idea what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything. My feelings, my problem.”
He was trying to make it easy for her, but it didn’t feel easy. Probably because she was in the same situation. Everything he was feeling, she was feeling, but for a different person.
“We can’t go out for dinner with you feeling the way you do. It would be wrong.”
“Like you can’t live with Tyler, feeling the way you do? I’m not about to read something into it that isn’t there. You don’t have to worry about that. Would I like more? Yes, but I’ll settle for friendship.”
And no one understood that better than she did.
She’d done the same, hadn’t she? All her life.
She felt a flash of envy for Élise and Kayla. Their love lives seemed so simple. Hers was a tangled mess.
“Why does everything have to be so complicated?”
Josh gave a soft laugh. “I think it’s called life.”
It should have been easy to love him. He was everything most women would look for in a man. But she knew love and logic weren’t necessarily close relations. “Are you going to be okay?”
“Big tough guy like me? Sure. I’ll go and arrest some folks to let off steam.”
It was typical Josh. Strong, patient and steady. It was the reason people still sent him Christmas cards even after he’d locked them up for the night.
Why couldn’t she have fallen in love with him?
Her mother was right. It would have been so much simpler.
“But I will say one thing.” Josh put his hands on her arms, and his tone was deceptively mild. “If Tyler ever hurts you, I’ll be the arresting officer.”
“My
