bent to kiss his lips. ‘I love you,’ she said. ‘You have always been a good and loving father to me. It hurt me when I did not understand your harshness, but now…’ She bit back the sob that rose to her lips. ‘If my forgiveness will ease you, you have it, my dearest father.’
‘Thank you, Kathryn,’ he said and smiled. ‘Sit here by my side for a little. It is good to know you are near.’
Kathryn’s eyes stung with the tears she would not allow to fall. She had felt estranged from her father because of his apparent intention to force her to marry against her will, but now that she understood his reasons, all she could feel was grief that he was dying, and regret that she had not seen the signs of illness in him.
She sat with him for most of the night, leaving his bedside only when her brother came to take her place, insisting that she must rest for a few hours.
‘Lorenzo says you must get some sleep,’ Philip told her when he came to take her place. ‘I shall call you if need be.’
‘I had no idea he was so ill.’
‘Do not blame yourself, Kathryn. He hid it well, even from me in the beginning. I begged him to let me come to Venice and find you, but he insisted on making the journey himself. I think it took the last of his strength. He has been failing ever since you returned.’
She had been too caught up in her grief for Lorenzo to notice! Regret mingled with her grief as she went to her bedchamber. She had hoped that Lorenzo might come to her there, for she needed his arms about her, but he did not. For a while she lay sleepless, tossing and turning in the feather bed, and then at last she slept.
Lorenzo came to her the next morning as she was dressing. Her heart caught with fright as she saw his grave expression.
‘Is he worse?’
‘He is certainly no better. I have spoken with the doctors and they do not hold much hope of his recovery. I am sorry, Kathryn. I know this must cause you pain.’
‘Yes, it does,’ she admitted. ‘We had not been on the best of terms of late, and that makes it harder somehow.’
‘You had quarrelled with him because of me?’
‘Yes…’ She smothered a sob. ‘I did not understand why he wanted me to marry again so soon. He thought it would make me safe when he was gone.’
‘I am sorry to have been the cause of anger between you.’
‘There is no need,’ she replied. ‘I was grieving for you and because of that I did not notice that he was ill.’
‘Did it hurt you so much when you thought I was dead?’ His eyes were on her face, seeking out the truth.
‘Yes, of course,’ she said, looking steadily into his eyes. ‘It broke my heart. I thought it would have been better if I had died. One day I walked to the top of the cliffs where…I think I might have thrown myself into the sea then if Michael had not come.’
‘He saved your life, then?’
‘He stopped me from committing a sinful act, for it is a sin to take one’s own life—but still I had nothing to live for until you returned to me.’
‘Kathryn…’ His voice was hoarse with emotion, remorse strong in him. ‘And then I was harsh to you. Forgive me if you can. When I saw you enter the hall holding Michael’s hand I thought the worst, and—’
He was prevented from continuing by the arrival of a servant.
‘You are wanted, Mistress Kathryn,’ the girl said. ‘Sir John is dying and asks for you.’
‘Oh, no!’ Kathryn cried and Lorenzo caught her hand, holding it tightly. ‘Come with me, please?’ She gave him a look of such appeal that it almost tore the heart from him.
‘Of course,’ he said. ‘I shall always be there when you need me, Kathryn. We shall not be parted again in this life if I can help it.’
She smiled at him, but her eyes were filled with tears. They hurried to Sir John’s bedchamber. It was obvious that he was failing, for he looked deathly pale as he lay with his eyes closed, and Philip was kneeling by the bed, head bent in prayer. Sir John opened his eyes as Kathryn approached.
‘My dearest child,’ he said. ‘Come, kiss me one last time.’
She went to his side, bending over him and pressing her lips to the papery softness of his cheek, her tears spilling over.
‘Ah, do not cry, my dearest,’ Sir John said. ‘I am ready to die now that you are safe.’ He looked beyond her to Lorenzo. ‘You, sir. I pray that you love my daughter as much as she loves you.’
‘I love her more than I have ever loved anyone.’
‘Then I am content.’
Sir John closed his eyes. He had been holding Kathryn’s hand, but his fingers lost their grip and fell away.
She gave a little sob as she realised he had stopped breathing, but then Lorenzo was there beside her. He drew her gently to her feet and into his arms, holding her as she wept against his shoulder.
‘He is at peace now,’ he said to comfort her.
‘He is with our mother,’ Philip said. ‘I think it was what he wanted.’ He bent over his father, closed his eyes and placed coins over them, and then drew the sheet over him. ‘We should leave him to the women now.’
Her husband and brother led Kathryn from the room. She was glad of Lorenzo’s arm about her waist, supporting her, but for the moment she wanted to be alone. The tears were draining her and she had no strength to fight them.
‘Would you excuse me for a little?’ she asked. ‘I need to be alone for a while.’
‘Yes, if it is your wish.’
Lorenzo watched her walk away from him, her back straight, head high. His heart ached for her and would have offered comfort if she had asked, but it seemed that she preferred to be alone.
She had told him that she loved him still, but he felt very alone at that moment. Perhaps in her heart she had not quite forgiven him.
Kathryn wept until there were no more tears left in her. She felt drained, exhausted, and fell into a deep sleep. When she woke again it was night. A fire had been lit in her chamber and someone had placed a coverlet over her, but the bed was empty beside her.
Suddenly, she wanted Lorenzo here with her. She had needed to be alone to let go of her grief, but now she longed for the comfort of his strong arms about her. He had not come to her, but she would go to him.
Throwing back the covers, she got out of bed. She went across to the fire to light a taper and touched it to a candle in her chamber-stick. She was approaching the door when it opened and Lorenzo entered. He stared at her in silence for a moment.
‘I thought you were sleeping.’
‘I was.’ She drew a deep breath, then continued, ‘But when I woke
