fact, they’d be far better off if he’d put his frowning energy into his son’s therapy instead. She was still seething with the fact that he’d denied his son the freedom of a wheelchair.
But there would be time to talk to Dr. Morris about that later. Right now she needed to concentrate on poor Josh, who deserved every bit of her attention. “Okay, here’s what I need you to do for me,” she said with a smile and a secret wink. Josh rewarded her with a tremulous smile, so heartbreakingly sweet she had to crush the urge to sweep him into her arms and promise him that she’d never let anything bad happen to him.
Ridiculous, as Josh was her patient, not part of her family. He belonged to the stern-faced surgeon sitting next to him. And she’d do well to remember that.
Don’t get emotionally involved. You’ll only lose another piece of your heart once this adorable little boy doesn’t need you anymore.
She made a career out of helping her small patients not need her anymore. So, of course, she needed to keep a safe emotional distance from them. However, telling herself not to get emotionally involved was easier than actually doing it. Still, she gave it her best shot. “I want you to bounce the hacky sack in the air with your elbows and your knees.” She demonstrated what she wanted him to do. “Now, you try it.”
Josh did his best, which was more than she could say about his father, who watched him like a hawk. More than once he almost came out of his chair to help his son, even though she sent him a glance that clearly told him to back off.
Josh’s ability was hampered a bit by the fact that he sat on the exam table, he would have done better in a wheelchair, but soon he managed to get a decent rhythm going. She was glad that he had the ability to move his knees because that meant his hips were in good shape.
“Excellent job,” she lavishly praised him. “Now, let’s try something else. Try to kick my hands with your toes. Kick me as hard as you can.”
Josh tried to lift up his legs so that he could kick her hands, but his leg muscles were too weak. The bright angry red scars that marred his youthful skin weren’t easy to ignore. But the weakness in his legs was even worse. She hid her dismay at how little he could raise them upward. He would need a lot of work to get his strength back.
Good thing she had plenty of patience. Unlike his father.
“Let’s try something else,” she quickly improvised, since he couldn’t kick the palms of her hands. She reached over to lift him up and quickly set him down on the floor before Dr. Morris could jump up to take over. She grabbed the red plastic ball again and placed it between Josh’s feet. “Try and kick the ball sideways toward your other foot, but keep your leg straight like this.” She gently moved his right leg, showing him what she wanted him to do.
Josh did as she asked, shifting his right leg enough to move the ball, although it went barely a few inches before rolling to a stop far away from his left foot.
“Great, that’s wonderful, Josh.” She quickly moved the ball so that it was located near his left foot. “Now, kick it back again.”
He scrunched up his face with the effort to concentrate on doing what she’d asked. He tried a couple more times but only moved the ball scant inches. And suddenly he crumpled into tears. “I can’t,” he wailed. “I can’t kick the b-ball!”
This time she did wrap her arms around him in comfort. How could she not? “Don’t cry, please don’t cry,” she crooned softly. “You’re doing very well, Josh. Remember how I said some of the games were hard? Believe me, very soon you’ll be kicking that ball between your feet just fine. Just don’t give up on me, okay? I promise we’ll keep working on these games together. But I need you to do your part.”
He quieted against her, and eventually nodded his head against her breast. She was relieved that Josh had got over his breakdown quickly—some patients took much longer, even her teenage patients. This type of frustration wasn’t new to her by any means.
When she glanced up at Dr. Morris to reassure him that Josh’s reaction was completely normal, she caught her breath at the starkness of his gaze as he stared at his son. Pain shadowed the brown depths, mixed with what appeared to be guilt and a hint of longing.
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Apparently Josh wasn’t the only one who needed help. And no matter how much she wanted to, she couldn’t turn her back on his father.
She could only hope and pray that she could get through this new challenge without too many emotional scars.
If it wasn’t too late already.
CHAPTER TWO
BATTLING A WAVE of helplessness, Dan clenched his hands into tight fists, wishing he could be the one to comfort his son. But Josh didn’t often turn to his father for comfort.
Because he hadn’t been there enough for him. Not because he didn’t want to be but because his career was demanding. His young patients didn’t just need open heart surgery during the day. He was on call every third evening and every third weekend. And that meant he’d often been forced to leave Josh in the care of his nanny.
At least the nannies were better to Josh than his mother had been. Although that didn’t stop Josh from asking for her, especially when he was stressed. Dan rubbed the ache at his temples. He hated knowing that his son was still suffering for the mistakes he himself had made in marrying Suzy. But despite the awful things she’d done, he couldn’t hate the woman who’d borne him a son. But he sure as hell resented her. He’d been stupid to believe she’d ever loved him.
Thankfully, Josh’s tears had stopped almost as abruptly as they’d started. Dan was glad, even though there was no possible way the ache in his heart would go away as easily.
Watching the light play across Molly’s red-gold hair as she cuddled Josh close was only a partial distraction. He knew it was his fault that Josh was suffering right now. His fault that he’d been too distracted by Josh’s mother, who’d called out of the blue after six years of absence, asking for money, to notice the car barreling through the intersection, straight toward them.
Even now, he could hear the screeching tires, the sickening thunk of metal crushing against metal. The agonizing sound of Josh’s high-pitched scream.
He wanted to put his hands up to cover his ears, but that would be useless as he knew the noise would reverberate over and over in his mind, where nobody else could hear it but him. With a herculean effort he dragged himself out of the dark past to the just-barely-lighter present.
He couldn’t ever make up for the injuries Josh had suffered that fateful night. All he could do was to try and start over. He’d taken a leave of absence from work so that he could rebuild his relationship with his son, at the same time doing whatever was necessary to ensure his son would walk again.
“Okay, Josh, we’re going to sit back on the exam table here, so that I can massage your legs a bit before we use the ultrasound machine,” Molly was saying now, lifting Josh up, despite her slim build, and setting him back on the table, as if Josh hadn’t suffered a meltdown five minutes ago. “Do you know what an ultrasound machine is?”
Slowly Josh shook his head. “Will it hurt?” he asked.
Dan’s heart squeezed in his chest. His son had suffered several surgeries to his injured legs, and
