in front of her. “Why are you here?”
He blinked, looking slightly taken aback by her abruptness.
“To see you. And also to see if you had time to go somewhere with me.”
A date?
“Where?”
“A fire site. I’d like you to look at it with me.”
Okay, so not a date.
“Why?”
“I’d rather not get into details, but do you have time?”
He looked at the paint again.
“I have to clean up.”
His gaze followed her curiously but he didn’t stop her as she stepped around him, heading for the stairs. She didn’t want to acknowledge the disappointment that he hadn’t come here to see her. It was only business.
She put it aside and took a quick shower, washing the paint off and putting on clean jeans and a shirt. She didn’t worry about what she threw on, as it obviously didn’t matter.
When she returned downstairs, not more than a half hour later, the entire wall she’d been working on was painted. A first coat anyway. Bo was sealing up the paint can.
He didn’t have a speck of cinnamon-brown on him.
“You finished it.”
“There wasn’t much left to do on this wall. Nice choice of color. Warms up the room. There are enough windows in here so it doesn’t darken it down too much.”
“Thanks, I liked it, too.” She felt stupidly pleased that he approved of her color of paint. “I’m ready if you are.”
“Are you okay?”
He stood in front of her, blocking her route to the door.
“Sure, why?”
“You’re not making eye contact, and you’re being very...cool. Even for you.”
Erin blinked. Even for her? What did that mean?
She put her hands on her hips and looked him fully in the face, making sure she made total eye contact.
“Yes, as a matter of fact, I was wondering why we had this big talk three days ago, then you slept with me and ignored me ever since. You haven’t even picked up the phone.” She shook her head, disgusted. “Other than that, nothing’s wrong at all.”
He actually had the gall to look mildly surprised. Maybe more so at her frankness, but Erin wasn’t in the mood to be coy.
“I’ve been at the office or at the fire site for the past few days and most of the evenings. I... You never would have noticed before. You knew about the work. It was never a question when one of us was working. There were no expectations. And now... I just, well, I didn’t even think about it.” He shook his head, still seeming perplexed. “I’m sorry about that. I got into the job, and I didn’t think.”
Erin was unsettled at how quickly her anger dissipated, confusion and anxiety taking its place. She didn’t know what to think because he knew the rules, and she didn’t. She’d thought they’d fight, but that was what couples did. And they weren’t a couple—not really.
“You’re right. I have no claim on you that way. You don’t have to explain anything to me. It was just...confusing.”
He came up behind her, put his hands on her shoulders and pulled her back against him. She still held herself stiffly, though, as much as she wanted to curl into his warmth.
“I’m sorry, Erin. I got to the site, and work took over. It’s like that. I have to immerse myself in it to do the job well. But I should have called, at least. Though to be honest, I didn’t think you’d care.”
“I don’t. I mean, I cared, but for all the wrong reasons. I feel so stupid. I thought it was me. That you were avoiding me, or that you changed your mind.”
“No way. I’m sorry you thought that,” he said as his arms came around her in a tight squeeze.
She was embarrassed that her eyes stung as he held her. His body was solid and safe, and Erin accepted the comfort. Needed it.
That probably wasn’t a good thing, but it was what it was.
“This sucks. I hate feeling this way.”
“How?”
“I don’t even know myself. I think, if I could remember, I’d really be angry at myself for being this needy. I don’t think I was like that.”
“No, you weren’t. Ever.”
The way he said it sounded like there was more there.
“I had to have needed you.”
“I think you did, in some ways.”
Again, a note of ambiguity in his response, but Erin didn’t know if she had the right to push for more.
“But I would never have called you needy,” Bo continued. “And you aren’t now. Or, if you are, it’s understandable,” he said, turning her back around to face him.
As if to prove his point, he dipped down and kissed her. Erin clung to him, letting him in, all of her doubt washed away as he stoked the heat inside her quite effectively.
Then he slowed and stopped. “Anyway, as good as it was the other night, I was thinking that what could be more effective for helping your memory would be revisiting some of the things we did, places we went, that kind of thing.”
“Like reliving my past?”
“I guess you could look at it that way. I think you can remember, Erin. You’ve already had some things come back and the rest has to be there waiting under the surface. I think we really can do this, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes.”
Erin stepped back, considering him more closely. She was heartened by his apparent commitment to help her, but her gut told her that there was more going on. Studying him, she started to notice the bleariness in his eyes and the shadows underneath. He looked as if he hadn’t shaved for at least a day. He’d obviously been working hard while she was wrapped up in her own self-indulgent worries.
“This fire you were at...it was bad?”
He pulled himself up, looking away as he answered. “Yeah, it was.”
“Let me get you a beer, and you can tell me about it.”
He hesitated, as if apprehensive.
“What’s wrong?”
“It would be easy, Erin, to lose track of what this is between us. To forget that we aren’t together. We used to do that a lot, sit down and talk over the day, what happened at a fire or at the station. It’s hard to know where to
