was there something different about her expression?
The change was hard to pin down, but he sensed a depth in Chelsea’s young cousin that he’d never been aware of before. He knew these past three months must have been very hard on her. No doubt she’d had to grow up fast.
Whatever it was about Holly that was different, the change seemed to suit her. And she’d clearly done a very good job of looking after his children.
‘I hope you realise how very grateful I am,’ he said. ‘Honestly, the way you’ve taken care of the twins has been amazing. Fantastic. It can’t have been easy—being dumped with everything after … after Chelsea …’
Holly nodded. ‘There have been some grim moments, but each day gets better.’
Gray wondered, somewhat anxiously, about the ‘grim moments’. He sat for a bit in silence, wrapped in worried thoughts as they drank their coffee.
‘How’s your ankle?’ Holly asked politely.
‘Oh, it’s fine.’ He pulled a face, remembering the exasperation of the floods, and then the further frustration of his accident. ‘You have no idea how maddening it was not being able to get here any sooner.’
She let out a soft huff. ‘I’ll admit it wasn’t easy at this end, either, trying to convince Anna and Josh that you were held up all that time by floods.’
‘I’m sorry.’
She shook her head. ‘No, you couldn’t help it, and you did the right thing when you asked me not to tell them about the accident. They’d just lost their mom. They would have been devastated if they’d heard their dad was hurt, too.’
‘I wouldn’t have been much use to them on crutches.’
‘Imagine your journey home,’ Holly agreed, smiling. ‘Twenty-something hours on a plane and trying to manage six-year-old twins while you’re hobbling on a cast.’
‘Exactly.’ Gray sat forward, eager to voice the question that had been plaguing him. ‘So—how do you think Anna and Josh will cope with going back to Australia with me?’
He hoped she would answer with an easygoing shrug and a quick reassurance.
They’ll be fine. They’re over the worst now.
To his dismay, she dropped her gaze to her coffee cup and twisted it in her hands.
His throat tightened uncomfortably. ‘I thought my place—somewhere completely different—might help them. Might be a … a distraction.’
Holly looked up again and, when her dark eyes met his, she was frowning. He saw no hint of reassurance.
He spoke again quickly, needing to strengthen his case. ‘This apartment must hold so many sad memories for the children. Won’t it help them to get away?’
Her mouth opened again as if she was going to reply, but then she hesitated.
Gray’s entire body tensed. ‘You agree, don’t you?’ He forced an awkward shrug. ‘I admit you know my children better than I do. I’d value your opinion.’
She responded with a faint smile. ‘I certainly hope they’ll be fine, but I can’t promise it’s going to be easy, Gray. I’m no expert, but from everything I’ve read—’
‘Everything you’ve read?’ He felt himself tense. As a cattleman who’d always relied on purely practical skills, he was sceptical about the glorified merits of the written word.
Perhaps Holly sensed his doubt. Her cheeks flushed deep pink but, when she spoke, she lifted her chin and her dark eyes narrowed. ‘I’ve never had any first-hand experience of grief, certainly not with helping children who’ve lost a parent. So I consulted a GP who referred me to a psychologist, and I’ve done some reading, too. After all, the books are written by experts.’
The skin on the back of Gray’s neck grew hot. Not quite meeting her gaze, he said, ‘So what did the experts have to say?’
Holly set her coffee mug on the table with exquisite care, as if it were a rare antique. ‘It seems that children who’ve suffered a loss can benefit from a predictable routine and structure. The familiarity of a routine helps them to feel secure.’
A predictable routine.
Structure.
Security.
Gray’s heart sank. Predictability and security were scarce commodities in the Outback. Cattlemen and their families lived at the mercy of the elements, or at the whim of fluctuating markets. Daily, they dealt with the problems caused by isolation and vast distances.
He recalled all the things his ex-wife had hated about his lifestyle, and he thought about his experience over the past three months—being cut off by the floods, almost running out of supplies, busting his leg in a flooded river.
Doubts crowded in. What was he doing here? How could he take his kids away from this safe and secure world that they knew and loved?
Abruptly, he stood and strode to the window where he dipped a slat in the blinds with one finger and stared down at the crowded pavements and busy traffic below.
Without looking at Holly, he said grimly, ‘If the experts in your books are right, the last thing my children need is another big change.’
Unhappily, he folded his arms over his chest and his jaw jutted belligerently. ‘I’m planning to drag Anna and Josh halfway across the world to a place that’s completely different from here, and your book-writing experts are telling me it’s the worst thing I can do.’
CHAPTER THREE
FOR a moment, Holly was seriously tempted to tell Gray that yes, his children would be much better off if they stayed right here in Manhattan. Of course they’d be happier if they were allowed to continue in this familiar environment—living in this apartment, going to their highly acclaimed school, playing with their select circle of appropriate friends.
For three months she’d been trying to follow the psychologists’ advice. She’d built little rituals into the children’s days so they always had something to look forward to.
She’d carefully planned mealtimes around their favourite nutritious foods, and she’d scheduled regular after school treats. Of course, she’d made sure that bedtime was special with their favourite stories. And plenty of hugs.
But she couldn’t suggest that Gray would not be able to meet his children’s needs. She’d witnessed his deep emotion when he’d first greeted his children, and she could see the incredible tension in his face right now as he waited for her answer.
Gray wasn’t just a proud, possessive male reclaiming his rights. He was a man who loved his children very deeply. Chelsea’s parents had told her that over the past three years he’d made the arduous journey from Australia to America several times a year, just to see them.
Holly knew that her possibly selfish opinions about the benefits of staying in America had no
