fast. I’m …’ She took a deep breath. ‘I’m not really used to dating. I’ve been focused on my career.’
‘I’m not really used to dating, either.’ He’d been in a relationship with the same woman since he was eighteen. Since his first day at university. Until the day two years ago when he’d taken that phone call and his world had fallen apart. ‘And I’ve just started a new job in a new hospital.’
‘And a new country,’ she finished.
He nodded. ‘So. This thing between you and me—no pressure. We’ll just see where it takes us, yes?’
‘Thank you. That works for me,’ she said softly.
When they reached her flat, she looked at him. ‘If you want to come in for a coffee, you’re welcome.’
‘Coffee meaning just coffee,’ he checked.
She smiled, and he was glad to see a tiny bit of the wariness fade from her eyes. So had she had a bad experience with someone who’d pushed her too far, too fast? Was that why she avoided dating and concentrated on her career—why she’d thanked him for not taking this too fast? Not that it was any of his business; and now really wasn’t the right time to ask.
He followed her into the kitchen, noting that her flat was small but neat. There were lots of photographs everywhere, and they were people who looked quite like her; clearly she was as close to her family as he was to his. Another thing they had in common.
‘I’m afraid it’s only instant coffee,’ she said as she switched the kettle on.
‘Instant’s fine.’
She gave him a sidelong look. ‘I bet you only have fresh coffee at your place.’
He laughed. ‘Yes. But I’ve been either a medical student or a doctor for sixteen years, so I’ve learned not to be too particular. Coffee’s coffee.’
‘I do have something to go with it.’ She rummaged in the fridge and produced a box. ‘My bad habit.’
‘Chocolate?’
‘Better than chocolate,’ she said with a smile.
He looked more closely at the packaging, and smiled as he recognised it. One of his own bad habits, too. ‘Gianduja. I’m impressed. You’re a woman of taste.’
She gestured to him to sit down at her kitchen table, and put some music on: a solo female singer, backed by guitar and piano, gentle stuff that he rather liked.
‘How do you like your coffee?’
‘Strong, no milk, please.’
She handed him a mug, and sat down next to him. But then they reached for a piece of gianduja at the same time and their fingers touched. He saw the sudden shock in her eyes, the way her mouth parted as if inviting a kiss.
And he really, really wanted to kiss her. Just like he had after the abseil. He needed to feel her mouth beneath hers, warm and soft and sweet and generous.
Except she’d thanked him earlier for not taking things too fast.
So, instead, he took her hand, pressed a kiss into her palm and folded her fingers over it.
‘What was that for?’ she asked. The wariness was back in her eyes.
‘Because I’m trying very hard not to take this too fast,’ he said. ‘This is a compromise. A kiss that won’t scare you off.’ A kiss that wouldn’t scare him off, either, if he was honest about it. The way she made him feel was unsettling, something he really wasn’t used to. His head was telling him that this was a seriously bad idea; did he really want to put himself back in a position where he could lose someone? Hadn’t he already learned that the hard and painful way? And yet there was something about her he couldn’t resist. Her warmth. Her sweetness.
Colour bloomed in her cheeks. ‘I feel like such a wimp.’
‘About this morning. Just so you know,’ he said, ‘I don’t make a habit of going around kissing complete strangers.’
‘Neither do I.’ The colour in her cheeks deepened. ‘And I kissed you back.’
And he could see in her eyes that she’d enjoyed it as much as he had. That she, like him, had mixed feelings: part of her wanted to see where this took them, and part of her wanted to run back to her safety zone. ‘Tell me,’ he coaxed gently. ‘You feel the same thing, don’t you? Something you weren’t expecting or looking for, and maybe it scares the hell out of you because your head’s saying you don’t need the complications. But it’s there and you can’t get me out of your head—just as I can’t get you out of mine, and I’ve been thinking about you ever since I first met you.’
He could see in her expression that she was thinking about denying it; but then she gave in. ‘Yes,’ she admitted, her voice husky. ‘To all of that.’
He stroked the backs of her fingers with the pad of his thumb. ‘I like you, Sydney. You’re calm and you’re good with the patients. I like that. And you’re good company—well, when you’re not stuck on an abseiling rope.’
She groaned. ‘I’m never going to live that down, am I?’
‘If I hadn’t seen it for myself, I would’ve said it was a vicious rumour. Someone as calm and confident and efficient as you, panicking. But it’s nice to know you’re not really superwoman. That you have panicky moments, like the rest of us.’
She blinked. ‘You’re telling me that you have panicky moments? I’m not buying that one. I’ve worked with you. OK, so you let me lead, this afternoon, but we both know you have more experience than I do. You were being nice and trying to restore my confidence after the abseil.’
Oh. So she’d picked that up. ‘Mmm,’ he admitted.
‘And I appreciated it. Because it worked.’
‘Good.’ He paused. ‘Do you trust me as a doctor?’
‘Yes.’
‘Well, that’s a start. And so’s this.’ He leaned forward and touched his mouth to hers. Briefly. Sweetly.
And the second he felt her lips part slightly, he was lost. He couldn’t pull away. He gave in to the desperate need to kiss her properly. Within moments, she was kissing him back, her hands were cradling his face, and it felt as if stars were exploding in his head.
When he finally broke the kiss, they were both shaking.
This really wasn’t supposed to happen, Sydney thought. I wasn’t supposed to be attracted to him. This was meant to be just putting a bit of fun back into my life. Seizing the moment. Enjoying a casual date. And now I’m way out of my depth, because I want this to go further—a lot further—and I think he feels the same way.
Which means I’m going to have to tell him the truth about me.
Ice trickled down her spine. Down the scar. The physical reminder of the thing that had smashed up her marriage. The thing that had stopped her having
