A Cotswold Christmas Bride. Joanna Neil
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‘So how are you coping? Not well, by the sound of things.’
‘No—it’s difficult, you see, because now I have to take over the running of the farm. I used to help out, but finding myself in charge has been a bit overwhelming.’
‘I imagine it would be easier said than done.’ He sounded curious.
She nodded. ‘I’m at my wits’ end, really. I have to keep going because if I don’t do it, who else will see to the animals?’ She thought about it, and about Nathan’s reaction. ‘I’d hoped Nathan might want to help out, him being a vet and all, but it seemed he had other things on his mind.’
She’d expected Nathan to understand what she was going through and to be supportive, but he had seemed preoccupied, and she had been left to muddle through on her own. She felt as though he had let her down when she needed him most.
‘What sort of things?’
‘Well, after my parents died, I inherited the farm, as well as money tied up in shares and investment bonds. Nathan was full of plans for what we might do with it.’
‘You think the money was important to him?’
‘I don’t think it was the money in itself. I think it was just that it made him ambitious. He started to make plans, and he would talk about starting up a veterinary practice of his own—he’d need a large property and acres of land, he said, and he thought my farm, Woodvale, would be the ideal place for that. That wasn’t what I wanted. I didn’t want the house turning into business premises … it was my home.’
She frowned. ‘I suppose I began to see him in a different light—he had started to take over, bit by bit. He was even planning Christmas without taking time to consider what I might want. We would go to Switzerland and spend the Christmas break in a ski lodge, he said, but I couldn’t get my head around it. I’d always spent Christmas at home, with my parents and relatives. It seemed too much of a jump from that to going skiing, for me, at least. I began to feel as though I didn’t know him at all.’ She gave a short laugh. ‘And yet the truth is, if I’d been sure of his love, I would have done anything for him. But somewhere along the way, he forgot to show me that he cared.’
‘You thought your relationship had lost its way?’
‘Yes. We’d been drifting apart for some time.’ She frowned, thinking about it. It hadn’t helped that she’d been ill. She’d been under par for some time, and perhaps she’d been working too hard, taking on too much, but, whatever the reason, her health had taken a battering these last few months. Her whole body seemed to ache, and she was constantly tired, and that was another thing that Nathan had found difficult to handle. Eventually, she’d gone to see her GP. So far, he hadn’t been able to pin it down to anything specific, but he was doing tests.
In the meantime, Nathan had imagined she could simply pull herself together and shake it off, and she’d tried, she’d done her best to get on top of it, feeling guilty for not pulling her weight in the relationship. In the end, as the illness had lingered, it had finished things off between them, and she was left wondering if perhaps she would never experience true love and marriage. There was something wrong with her, and maybe she couldn’t expect anyone to want her.
She looked up at Lucas. His expression was sombre, concerned, and she gave a ragged sigh. ‘I don’t know why I’m telling you any of this.’
‘I think perhaps you needed to get it off your chest. It sounds as though this has been building up inside you for a long time, until it became too much for you, and perhaps that’s why you fainted.’ He drew her hand into his, holding it between his palms as though to show her he cared.
It felt so natural, that small, intimate gesture. She’d never met him until this evening, but it was as though he knew exactly what she needed. He was offering her comfort and compassion … those things that had been sorely missing from her life of late. But instinct warned her that she shouldn’t read anything into it. She couldn’t place her trust in anyone. Not any more.
‘Perhaps I can help in some way,’ he said softly. ‘Even if you just need someone to talk to.’
She pulled in a quick breath. His offer filled her with temptation, but it wasn’t to be, was it? ‘Ah … there’s the rub … you and I aren’t likely to meet up again, are we? We’re just strangers passing through.’
‘It doesn’t have to be that way,’ he said. ‘I’d like to see you again, just to know how you’re getting along.’
He wasn’t suggesting that he felt anything more than friendly concern, but she was on her guard, all the same. She had been burned once, and she’d learned her lesson.
Besides, she had way too much on her plate right now for her to even think about getting involved with anyone.
She straightened up. ‘I’m all right now,’ she murmured. ‘I ought to get dressed. Where did you put my frock?’
He frowned. ‘Are you sure about that?’ he asked. ‘Perhaps you ought to rest a little longer.’
‘I need to put in an appearance downstairs,’ she said. ‘My friends will be wondering what’s happened to me.’
His gaze wandered over her, but he must have realised that she meant what she said, because he got to his feet and strode across the room. A moment later he came back with her dress, and handed it to her.
‘Thank you,’ she said. She took the dress from him and held it in front of her. ‘If you don’t mind …?’
‘Of course.’ He hesitated, reaching into his jacket pocket. ‘I’ll give you my number,’ he murmured. ‘That way, if you need me, you can give me a call.’
She glanced at the number he’d scrawled on the hotel stationery.
‘Thanks,’ she murmured. ‘But, as I said, I’ll be fine.’ She lifted her chin. ‘Goodbye, Lucas. Thanks for your help.’
He sighed, then turned away from her and walked towards the door. ‘I don’t like goodbyes,’ he said, halting momentarily to give her a fleeting glance before walking out into the corridor. There was a glimmer of something in his eyes, something that Sophie couldn’t interpret.
The door closed behind him, and she sat for a while staring at the place where he had stood just a moment ago.
She had done the right thing, letting him go, hadn’t she? He was interested in her, that was for sure, but she was in no state to get entangled with anyone else. Her life was a mess, and right now she didn’t know whether she was coming or going.
Why, then, did it feel as though she’d just passed over something special?
CHAPTER TWO
‘COME on, ladies,’ Sophie called to the hens. ‘Feeding time.’ She scattered a mix of corn and pellets over the rough ground and immediately found herself surrounded by a huddle of excited, squawking poultry. Ferdie, the goose, preened himself, then thrust out his chest and paraded around the compound