wanted to fill her senses with him, to let his intoxicating presence drug her to all reality.
Which had her taking a dazed step back. Only there was no where to go because she already pushed into the hand railing. Panic clogged her throat, widened her eyes, stiffened her body.
What was she doing? She started to ask herself a thousand questions, but Grant’s fingertip covered her lips. The gentle touch sent just as many shockwaves throughout her body as the taste of his lips had, as the feel of his strong body pressed against hers had, as the masculine musk of his scent had.
She wanted him. Right here, right now, in this elevator, she wanted him. That terrified her, made her feel out of control, something she’d sworn she’d never be again.
“Shh, don’t.”
Don’t? her mind screamed. Wasn’t it a little late for don’t? They had.
Now she knew what she really needed not to know.
That he was everything that cocky smile promised.
That where Grant was concerned, she was going to have to up her guard or she was going to fall for him whether she wanted to or not.
That she might have thought he was like Mark, but she’d been wrong. Grant made Mark look like kid’s play and the doctor she’d considered her future had tattered her heart and her whole life, almost pushed her into a well of despair that drowned her.
“Don’t over-think what just happened. Just enjoy the moment.” He flashed that lethal smile. The one that said he knew exactly what she was thinking, feeling, wanting, all of which involved him touching and kissing her a whole lot more. Enjoy the moment? Who was he kidding?
She geared up to blast him for having kissed her but before she made a single sound, she stopped.
How could she blast him? He hadn’t forced her. No, he’d given her opportunity to stop him, and she hadn’t. Instead, she’d closed her eyes and waited for him to kiss her.
Why hadn’t she stopped him?
He ran his thumb along her jaw, leaving a tingly trail of awareness, reminding her exactly why she hadn’t stopped him. Not that she’d known he had magic fingers, exactly, but chemistry had gotten the better of her.
“If not before, I’ll see you Friday night.”
She blinked, confusion adding to the mix of swirling emotions. “I’m not going out with you.” At his fading smile, she rushed on, “I’m sorry if I misled you by not telling you not to kiss me. I should have, but I …” What could she say? That she’d been curious? Full of desire for him? That she had a mile-long masochistic streak and after five years of celibacy he made her want to throw caution to the wind with a single kiss? “But nothing’s changed.” Everything had changed. His kiss had turned her world upside down and inside out. She’d never look at him again without recalling how he’d curled her toes with his kiss. “I don’t want to have a relationship with you outside our professional one at the hospital.”
She really didn’t want to have that one either. Too dangerous. She needed to stay far away from him. But unless she transferred out of the ICU, she’d have to deal with him on a regular basis. She loved working in ICU. She’d lost one job she loved because of a man, she wouldn’t lose another.
“I know.” But his eyes said otherwise, that her rejection confused him as much as he confused her. Probably just that he wondered how someone who was such a plain Jane would have the audacity to turn someone like him down. “I meant that I would see you at Hearts for Health on a non-date outing where we will both just happen to be,” he pointed out, all apparent innocence.
“Oh.” She searched his face for sarcasm, but only saw the ever-present twinkle in his eyes. The one that said he read minds and liked what she was thinking. He probably knew exactly the effect his kiss had had on her. Great.
He grinned and tweaked her nose. “Look, I’m sorry if I pushed more than I should have with the kiss, but I couldn’t help myself. You have that effect on me.” Another flash of the sexiest smile she’d ever seen. “I’ll behave Friday night. Just give me a chance to get you past whatever makes you think you shouldn’t go out with me. I promise I can change your mind.”
He couldn’t help himself? She had that effect on him? Hello, it wasn’t as if she was the kind of woman to inspire men to lose all control. If she had been interested in dating, she’d be thrilled at the interest he was showing.
Who was she trying to kid? Deep down, she was thrilled at his interest. She was also terrified. A lot of years had passed since she’d been interested in a man, since she’d been touched, since she’d felt anything for the opposite sex.
Maybe too many years.
She had forgotten how good a man’s touch felt.
Maybe she’d never known.
Had it felt that good when Mark had kissed her? Perhaps. She’d blocked the memories of her only lover for so long that she really couldn’t recall how she’d felt the first time he’d touched her, kissed her. There was too much pain tied up in those memories to let them flood in now, so she shoved them back wherever they’d been hidden away.
As far as Grant changing her mind, well, that was what worried her. Based on her reaction to his kiss, he could change her mind all too easily, and then what? She’d be left with the fallout, left to pick up the pieces of her broken life. No, thank you. She was in charge of her destiny, not her libido.
“I probably won’t even see you,” she admitted slowly, not looking at him, not wanting him to see the fear coursing through her veins. Predators sensed fear and used it to their advantage, right? Yet thinking of him as a predator didn’t quite fit. He had told her to tell him to stop if she didn’t want his kiss. She had wanted him to kiss her. That was the problem. “I’m working the cake walk.”
He grinned that smile that said he knew all and liked the power that came with it. She really should censor her thoughts around him—just in case.
“The cake walk? Imagine that. So am I.” His eyes sparkling with mischief, he kissed the tip of her nose. “Who says you can’t have your cake and eat it too?”
“How did you—?”
The elevator door slid open, interrupting her question.
Joni hadn’t even realized he’d removed his finger from the button, hadn’t even realized she was moving downward.
Had his kiss dazed her that much? Apparently.
She let him walk her to her car, let him open the door after she’d punched the unlock button on the key fob, let him close the door and watch her leave. All without another word.
All without admitting to herself that she hadn’t “let” Grant do a darned thing. He was a man who took what he wanted one way or another. For some crazy reason he wanted her.
Holy water, garlic, and crucifixes warded off vampires, but what did one use when needing to ward off the devil himself? Especially when he kissed as sinfully deliciously as Grant?
Joni held her patient’s hand while Grant pulled the tube free from the sixteen-year-old’s
