stopped her from falling for a man just like her distant, unresponsive father.
She and Jack were separated. Had agreed on it before he’d gone on secondment to the States. His months away fighting summer wildfires had given her a chance to get used to him not being around. There was no going back. She couldn’t. Too much was at stake now.
She wasn’t going to settle for a half-life, the way her mother had. Two years was more than enough time to invest in a mistake.
Of course, the marriage wasn’t their only mistake.
She buttoned her lab coat, carefully holding the fabric away from her body. Thank goodness for the large, shapeless garment. And the light in here was fairly subdued. If she could just get out of the room…
‘You can’t just walk away from me, Liz. I’m not going anywhere until we’ve worked this through.’
‘Please yourself.’ With shaking fingers, she looped the stethoscope around her neck then stuffed her fists into the large coat pockets. ‘Unlike you, I have work to do.’
She wasn’t being fair to him. He’d been away, risking his life. But fair didn’t matter right now.
Escape! That was all that mattered. Making a show of checking her watch, she went to walk past him.
At the last moment, he moved to stop her. Dumb luck had his hand land on the one thing she didn’t want to discuss with him right now. She froze as an energetic thud bounced out of her abdomen to greet his touch.
His mouth dropped open as he snatched his hand away and looked down at her distended belly. She could still feel the imprint of his fingers through the heavy fabric of the coat.
‘You’re…’ His eyes, dark blue and stunned, blinked back up to meet hers. He was so close that, despite the dimness, she could see the shock in the sudden pallor of his face. ‘You’re pregnant.’
‘Yes.’ She watched creases form at the edges of his eyes, could almost see the cogs turning over in his mind.
Was he doing the arithmetic? Their last attempt at talking about reconciliation had been a doozey. And she’d been incubating the results of their discussion for nearly six months now.
‘Is it mine?’
Pain washed over her, snatching the breath from her lungs. Such cruelty from the mouth that had just kissed her so sweetly, so lovingly.
‘Charming, Jack,’ she said, squaring her shoulders and refusing to let him see how much he’d hurt her. ‘Are you judging me by your own behaviour?’
She pushed past him and walked towards the door on rubbery knees. She hated scenes, but for five months she’d known this one was unavoidable.
‘Liz!’
She blinked blurriness out of her vision and kept walking. Whatever he had to say could wait. But Jack was too quick for her. His hand on her arm stopped her before she could reach the door.
‘I’m sorry.’
Her jaw dropped at the gruff words. An apology. That was new. She looked up at him.
‘Yes, well…I am sorry. That was out of line.’ He released her to run his hand through his hair, leaving tufts standing in its wake. His eyes, when they met hers, were wary. She could see his mouth working as though he was having trouble speaking, forming words. ‘That last time we…?’ The partial sentence was little more than a croak.
‘I would think so, yes.’
‘So you’re about five months along?’
‘Closer to six, actually.’ She stroked a protective hand over her stomach. Given the bizarre gymnastics the rest of her system was doing at the moment, she was vaguely surprised that her womb wasn’t being used for somersault practice. Couldn’t the baby sense her mother’s distress? Or perhaps that’s why she was so still.
Jack’s eyes followed the movement of her hand, a dazed look on his face. ‘We’re going to be parents in, what, three months?’ His throat moved in a convulsive swallow. ‘Twelve weeks?’
Her heart swooped, a dozen answers trembling on her tongue. But the last thing she wanted right now was to prolong this discussion. Liz settled for a simple, ‘Close enough.’ They could argue the semantics of parenthood another time.
‘We’ve got more to talk about than I’d realised.’ His eyes held a solemn appeal when they met hers.
‘Perhaps, but not now.’ She hardened her heart against the treacherous impulse to believe he could change. He’d just been caught off guard, his apology was evidence of how much. ‘I really do have work to do. Are you…? Where are you…?’ The words dried up on her tongue.
‘Staying?’ An eyebrow quirked as his dark eyes watched her quizzically. ‘At home. Unless there’s a reason why I shouldn’t.’
‘No. I…suppose it’ll be okay…for a while…It’s just that…’ She trailed off again. She couldn’t go back to the peculiar segregated life they’d been living before. Sharing a house, but not themselves. A half-life masquerading as a marriage. She’d used long hours at work to escape the house before Jack had gone overseas. That wasn’t an option these days because she was too tired.
‘Damn, Liz…What do you think I’m going to do?’ He grimaced, his eyes shuttered. She was left with the fleeting impression that she’d hurt him. ‘I’m still house-trained.’ His lopsided smile was meant to disarm. ‘And I haven’t jumped on an unwilling woman for at least a month. Let alone one who’s pregnant and unwilling.’
Did that mean he had jumped on a willing woman while he was away? She lifted her chin in rejection of the picture his words conjured up. What did it matter to her if he had been with someone? Once they were divorced, he could be with any damned woman he fancied.
She wanted a divorce…didn’t she?
Suddenly, hot moisture burned beneath her eyelids, threatened to spill over. Bending her head for a few moments, she pulled at the wrinkled front of her coat as though straightening it was the most important thing in her life.
She heard him take a deep breath.
‘Look, Liz, I’m tired. Can we have this discussion later, too? I’ll use the spare bed if it’ll make you happier.’
‘I’m using it.’ Her voice sounded hoarse with the ache in her throat.
‘I see.’ He looked away and she could see a muscle twitching along his jaw.
‘It’s the only bed made up so use it. I haven’t been home to sleep in it since I changed the sheets yesterday.’ As soon as the words were out she wished she could take them back. His eyes held hers for a long moment. She tensed, waiting for a derisive comment.
‘Thanks,’ he said.
She nodded briefly. On muscles wobbly with relief, she turned towards the door.
‘Liz?’
She looked back
