her lower lip, then reached past Mark to open the door for him. “Maybe. We’ll see how much of this I get finished first.” Though the idea was tempting, she doubted that she’d go. There was so much to do before tomorrow. There was always so much to do, and she never seemed to have enough time in her life to get everything done.
Mark strolled down to the edge of the lake just at sunset and the spectacular rays of orange, yellow and red bounced off of the gentle ripples of water. Breathing deep, he pulled in the fresh, humid air that was so different than he expected it to be. Not that he hadn’t been in humid climates before—he had, all over the world, but something was different about this experience. It was fuller, fresher, much more alive than he’d remembered air ever being. Maybe he was being fanciful, but that’s what it seemed to him tonight, and he was okay with being a little fanciful now and then. Kept things interesting. Life was too short to be serious all of the time. He’d certainly learned that lesson in spades not long ago.
As twilight deepened, he paused on the dirt path, savoring the moment. Night creatures crawled from their dens to explore their world and created such a symphony of sound that he was compelled to stop and listen for a few moments.
Sam had been right. This remote experience was exactly what he needed after all he’d been through in the previous few years. Tension he hadn’t been aware of holding onto began to slowly unwind, and his shoulders relaxed. The persistent gnaw in his gut eased a fraction. Working as a pediatric trauma physician was intense enough, then becoming a patient in his own hospital with a life-threatening illness had brought his world to an abrupt halt. Tension didn’t begin to describe the hell he’d been through.
Now that he was past all that—three years past—he was still having difficulty getting back into the swing of having a normal life. He was no longer sure what normal really was. It was definitely not what it had been a short time ago. Nagging doubts, and the agonizing wait of two more years before his body was considered free of cancer, loomed over him every day and influenced him in ways he’d never imagined. Should he rent or have a mortgage? How much life insurance should he buy? Would he die before the tires on his car wore out? Could he engage in a short- or long-term relationship? These were at the top of the list. So many decisions were now based on his questionable longevity.
Chasing after a bunch of healthy kids all summer was going to be a monumental change for him, but one he anticipated being good.
The hoot of a night bird pulled him from his thoughts, and he continued down the hill to the fire blazing at the edge of the water. The smell of charred marshmallows was already heavy in the air, and he hoped that it would entice Ellie into joining the group.
“Hi, Mark. Glad you made it.”
“Gil, nice to see you.” He shook hands with the camp administrator.
Gil looked up the path. “Where’s your nurse?”
“Ellie’s finishing up a bit of housekeeping in the infirmary, then she’ll be down.” At least, he hoped she would be.
“Okay. There’s a spot by me and the bag of marshmallows. You can join me there.”
“Just what I wanted to hear.” With a laugh, Mark followed the man through the tangle of people who had just plopped down anywhere near the fire. Casting one last glance up the path that had fallen completely dark, he hoped that Ellie would come. She seemed nice, and he needed to make friends with her while they were here for the summer. The community of people he called friends had dwindled during his illness, and he needed to rebuild his support system differently this time. His fiancé, who was supposed to be with him through sickness and health had they married, had bailed during his first treatment. She’d said it was because he wasn’t likely to be able to father children, but now he knew better. The shallowness and insecurity he’d never seen had become blindingly clear.
Not wanting to cloud the evening with thoughts of the past, he put her from his mind and followed Gil to the fire.
Though he enjoyed the atmosphere of young adults and experienced counselors who returned year after year, something was missing. Maybe it was just because he was a first-timer here, maybe because he really didn’t know the others yet, but something was out of place. Having grown up in a large family that didn’t recognize boundaries, loneliness had never been part of his life, but now that was the feeling that came to mind.
Footsteps on the path and a quick, feminine curse alerted them to the arrival of someone else.
“Hello? Is this where the party is?”
Ellie had arrived. A smile covered Mark’s face, and he stood. “Over here,” he said and waved, hoping she’d recognize him against the backdrop of the fire.
“There you are,” she said and made her way through the tangle of people seated on blankets and camp chairs. She reached for Mark’s outstretched hand and grabbed on. Her touch was strong and firm.
“We’ve got a nice spot here,” he said and eased down to the ground with Gil on one side and Ellie on the other, then released her hand. The small groups returned to their conversations now that Ellie was seated. Someone brought out a guitar and began playing softly in the background.
The slap of a hand against bare skin broke the silence, and Ellie jumped. “Ohh. I shouldn’t have worn shorts.”
“Bugs getting to you?” he asked and swatted away a mosquito buzzing near his ear. “They sound like tiny airplanes, don’t they?”
“Yes. These critters are going to have a feast on me. I didn’t have time to mix up my own bug spray today and just grabbed the commercial stuff left over from last year.” She slapped again. “Obviously, it’s not working.”
“Maybe you have a sweeter disposition than the rest of us,” Gil said and everyone chuckled. Small conversations picked up where they had left off when Ellie arrived.
“I’m an ICU nurse, so sweet doesn’t really enter into my job description.”
“Now, I’ve worked with plenty of sweet ICU nurses, so I’d have to argue with you on that,” Mark said, wondering why she was down on herself.
There was a moment of silence before Ellie answered. “I might have been at one time, but over the years, it seemed to have gotten lost in the job, you know what I mean?” she asked, her voice softer than it had been moments ago, meant for only him and Gil to hear. The others were too far away to hear anyway. “Life gets to be about what you do, not who you are.”
“Oh, I doubt that or Vicki wouldn’t have recommended you,” Gil said and poked a marshmallow onto a long wooden stick. “This is for you. Roast to your preference and enjoy.”
“Thanks.” She took the stick and focused on putting the fat marshmallow at the edge of the hot coals. “Vicki’s a good friend, Gil.”
“She said you’d fit right in here, and I believe her.” He handed her a chocolate bar and graham crackers to go with the marshmallow.
“I hope she’s right.” Tucking her head, she focused on making the gooey treat.
Mark’s mouth watered. “Gil, can you fix me up with some of that? I haven’t had a s’more in years.”
“You got it.” He reached into the bag and produced a marshmallow that he handed to Mark, then gave him a chocolate bar and a graham cracker.
Mark
