pure-Maddie smile that had often been directed at him in the past. Nick was mesmerized by it. “Don’t worry, honey, no harm done.”
Not to her, maybe. After holding her, even briefly, Nick knew he would spend another night tearing the covers off the bed. Any physical contact with this woman was going to ruin his peace of mind.
Tessa came forward. “Madelyn, this is my husband, Dan.”
“Nice to meet you.” Maddie nodded to his family. “All of you.” She’d never met them before because Nick had been estranged from Dan when he and Maddie were together.
Dan kept a poker face, but Nick could guess what he was thinking. “You, too.”
“Nice to bump into you,” Molly said, chuckling.
Maddie gave a short laugh and the tension eased. “If you’ll excuse me. Nick, I’ll get back to you on the grant.”
Nick watched her leave. When he turned around, he caught sight of Dan’s face. “What?” he asked.
THE YOGA INSTRUCTOR, Hillary, sat in the middle of the wooden floor in lotus position. Early March meant the days turned dark at 6:00 p.m., and the inside of the cavernous loft of Open Heart Yoga was in shadows. “Keep your eyes closed,” Hillary said softly, “chin down, sternum up, tailbone settling into the floor or bolster.”
As Madelyn had only taken classes for two years, she was elevated on a cushion, her legs merely crossed, not sliding easily into a complete lotus. Beside her, Bethany Hunter, who’d been at this since she was twenty, was in perfect harmony with the instructor.
Blank your mind. Don’t think. Concentrate on the light. Breathe in. Out.
Still, no harmony. Damn it! Damn him!
“Madelyn, ease the tension in your shoulders. Get rid of that frown.”
Chastised by the instructor, Madelyn tried like hell to relax.
For an hour and a half.
It never happened.
When the final namaste came, Madelyn’s stomach was still in knots.
“That felt terrific,” Beth said, stretching out her legs and wiggling her toes.
“Yeah, terrific.”
Her friend nodded to the huge statue on the front altar. “Buddha will smite you for lying in his sanctuary.”
“I know somebody else he can smite instead.”
Beth stood. She was a tall, graceful woman with a slender body and a core of inner strength. “Come on, let’s put our props away and go get juice.”
When they were settled into a corner of the juice bar downstairs, Beth sipped her cranberry drink. “It didn’t go so well with Nick?”
“On how many levels do you want to hear about it?”
“All of them.” She squeezed Madelyn’s hand. “I wish I’d been at work the last two days.”
“You had your own problems, Beth.” She took a swig of her drink, enjoying the tart pineapple flavor. “It was hard to see him.”
“I’ll bet that’s an understatement. How’d he react to the news about Lucy? And you?”
“He was shocked.” She tried hard not to feel sorry for him. She had to stifle all emotional involvement with this man, or the floodgates would open.
“Still think you can work with him?” When John had asked her to come back and then told her Nick was also returning, she and Beth had discussed the issue at length. Beth had advised against it.
“Yep. I can. For John and for the Center.”
“Tell me about the meeting.”
“Right off the bat, he objected to the schedule sheets. Then he balked at the idea of running his program by me.”
“Nick doesn’t deal well with authority.” Beth smiled. “It’s one of the reasons he understands kids so well.”
“He tried to talk me out of a second counselor for his group sessions and absolutely refuses to participate in the staff support group.”
“I warned you about the last thing. But objecting to the additional counselor is bad judgment. And I’m kind of surprised. He usually sees what’s best for kids.”
“Well, we ambushed the hell out of him with my being his boss.”
To be fair, Madelyn also told Beth about the space he’d set up for the teens. However, she didn’t mention that while he’d been painting the room, he’d been talking to his lovely sister-in-law about her or that, when his nieces had unbalanced Madelyn, Nick had grabbed on to her. That slight touch had brought back so many associations. At that moment, she’d realized she couldn’t afford to get anywhere near him physically. She’d have to keep her distance—a lot like an alcoholic had to stay away from booze.
“Always the innovator. That’s the Nick Logan I know and love.”
Madelyn clenched her hands in her lap.
Insightful, and closer to Madelyn than any other human being, Beth watched her friend for a minute. “Maddie, I know you hated that I talked to him after he left you and had an e-mail correspondence with him, but A, I’m a minister and I can’t turn away people in need. And B, he suffered. Almost as much as you did.”
Madelyn drew in a breath that would make Hillary proud and released it slowly. “I realize all that. And I’m glad you were there for him. He got cold feet and ditched me but I was still in love with him.”
“He ditched you because he was in love with you, too. In his words, he ‘couldn’t handle how his life had begun to revolve around you.’”
She shook her head. “You don’t leave someone because you love them too much.” She arched a brow. “And I bet he never used the L-word to you. I know he didn’t to me. It’s not in his vocabulary.” Of course, Madelyn had held back that particular declaration, too.
A silence. “Isn’t that a little unfair? You know what caused his commitment issues.” Beth hesitated. “You knew it when you got involved with him.”
After Daniel Logan Sr. had embezzled a half million dollars out of the bank he worked at and gone to jail for it, Nick had rebelled. Because she couldn’t handle him, his mother had kicked Nick out of her house when he was sixteen. A “tough love” kind of thing that had backfired in ways Claire Logan couldn’t have imagined.
Still what Nick had done to Maddie was unforgivable. “At some point, you have to stop blaming your past for your present insecurities and faults and take control of your life.”
Across the table, Beth gave her an indulgent smile. “You’re so strong, Maddie. Not everybody could overcome what you did.”
Madelyn shivered, remembering her absent father, her alcoholic mother and how she’d practically supported herself
