It was at the time of her divorce that she had met Alicia. They lived in the same apartment complex. Alicia was going to school during the day to study computers while working as a waitress at the Blue Moon Lounge on Cocoa Beach at night. She was also pregnant but didn’t want to talk about the father, and Carlee didn’t pry.
Carlee had been working in the gift shop at Jupiter Orange Groves since high school, but the work was seasonal. Still, she enjoyed it so much that during the rest of the year she took what jobs she could find so she’d be free to return. After her divorce, however, she needed more financial security, and Ben Burns, owner of the groves, had said he would give her a raise and put her to work year-round in the office if she would take a bookkeeping course and learn some computer programs. So when the season ended, she had enrolled in night school and worked at the cosmetics counter of a department store at a local mall.
Times were tough, and Carlee and Alicia decided to share an apartment to cut expenses. They became closer than sisters. Carlee went to Lamaze classes as Alicia’s coach, and she was there for Scotty’s birth. Later she helped with his care and came to love him as though he were her own. Alicia traded baby-sitting with another working mom in the complex, and life seemed to be going according to plan.
Now Carlee was left grief-stricken, wondering how on earth she was going to manage. She had to work and finish school in order to get a promotion, but she could not trade baby-sitting as Alicia had done. That meant she would have to pay for Scotty to go to a day-care center, and she just didn’t have the money. Plus, she had taken on the added responsibility of the funeral, because there was no one else to take care of it, and she had not wanted Alicia buried like a pauper.
Though she hadn’t had time to really think about it, Carlee had already tossed aside the idea of trying to find another roommate. The apartment was small, and the only reason she and Alicia had shared it was that they got along so well. She didn’t want to take a chance on someone else not being so congenial.
“But don’t you worry, little guy,” she whispered in Scotty’s ear as the funeral service ended. “We’ll be okay.” She pulled his blanket more tightly around him. It was spring, but the day was damp and cold, even for the central coast of Florida. They were near the Indian River, and a chilly wind was blowing in from the water.
Scotty awoke and started crying. She popped his pacifier into his mouth, promising to feed him as soon as they got home. Her own stomach gave a hungry rumble, and she couldn’t remember the last time she herself had eaten. Coffee had been her only nourishment in the despair that had wrapped about her since that fateful Sunday only three days ago.
The hospital chaplain, James Barnhill, had offered to conduct the graveside services after learning Alicia did not have a minister of her own. He had been so kind that day in the ER, helping Carlee to fill out the forms, then driving her and Scotty back to the apartment. He and his wife had even come by later with food. He had also suggested that she see a lawyer as soon as possible about the necessary paperwork to have her officially named Scotty’s guardian. The note Alicia had written would start the ball rolling, of course, but there were legal procedures that had to be followed.
As she turned to leave the gravesite, Mr. Barnhill said, “Miss Denton, the other ladies have told me earlier that they had worked with Miss Malden and would like to meet you. Do you have a moment?”
Carlee murmured, “Of course,” and he motioned to the four women standing nearby.
They oohed and ahhed over Scotty, talking about how Alicia was always bringing pictures to show them. Carlee thanked them for sending the floral blanket to drape over the casket. They said they were glad to, for they’d thought the world of her.
Then, as people are prone to do at funerals, they did not linger.
Except for one, Marcy Jemison. “Alicia’s baby is so cute,” she said, gently patting his cheek, then holding her arms out invitingly.
Scotty promptly jerked away, growing crankier by the minute.
Carlee apologized. “Sorry. He would normally go to you, but he’s not feeling well today for some reason.”
“Well, who can blame him? It’s his mother’s funeral. Maybe babies sense things. Who knows? And this was such a shock. I mean, Alicia seemed tired at work lately, but heck, I’ve got a baby, and it’s tough taking care of a kid when there’s no man around. We heard that Alicia gave him to you right before she died. What are you going to do with him?”
It was a blunt question, but Carlee knew the girl meant no harm. “Take care of him the best I can and love him like he was mine. I already feel like he is. I was there when he was born and lived with him ever since.”
“Well, I think you should make his father help. Everybody knows the creep was married, and how he dumped Alicia. I hate men like that. They have their fun and then take off, and to hell with what happens to the woman.”
“He didn’t know she was pregnant when he went back to his wife,” Carlee said stiffly, not wanting to discuss Alicia’s personal life but feeling the need to clarify the situation. “When they met, he told her he was getting a divorce, and when he quit coming around the lounge, she figured he and his wife had probably worked things out. She never told him about the baby, because she didn’t want to cause any trouble.”
Marcy frowned. “That’s what she told you?”
“Yes, and if you’ll excuse me, I need to get Scotty out of this raw weather.”
“Sure. But think about what I said. If he can be found, you ought to make him pay. I wasn’t working with her then, but she never would tell anybody his name.” Her brows rose in question. “Did she ever tell you?”
“Just his first name—Nick. She didn’t like talking about him.”
“Well, that’s a shame, but you know, he might not have been from around here. We get a lot of tourists at Cocoa Beach. Plus technicians from all over the country are always coming in to work at the Cape on temporary assignment, so who knows? But if it had been me, I’d sure as heck have put his feet to the fire for child support.”
Carlee agreed with Marcy but understood Alicia’s reluctance. Her friend had also suffered a painful childhood. Her father had abandoned her mother and gone to live with another woman. But unlike Carlee’s mother, Alicia’s had been so determined to collect child support that she would go to the woman’s door when payment was late and demand it. She dragged Alicia with her, and the older Alicia got, the more humiliated she felt. Then one day the woman opened the door and threw the money in her mother’s face. Alicia had told Carlee, tears streaming down her face, that she would never forget the sight of her mother down on her hands and knees picking up the money from the ground.
Carlee had assured her things were different now. The father could be ordered to pay directly to the court, and if he failed to do so, the court would take care of tracking him down. But Alicia still felt that was demeaning. If a man had to be made to do something, she didn’t want him.
Scotty cried all the way home, and Carlee felt as if the weight of the world was on her shoulders. She’d hardly slept a wink since Alicia’s death, worrying how she was going to manage. She hadn’t been to work in three days, and her manager had said she had to report tomorrow because her cosmetics counter was having a promotion and they would be extremely busy. In addition, she had used up all the absences from class that she was allowed. One more and she would be dropped from the course.
Scotty was still fretting when
