gave a polite smile.
Sophie raised her eyebrows. ‘There’s no “just” about it—you two should know that. Having a baby is hard work.’
‘You give all your patients this pep talk?’ Lucas didn’t want her attacking their decision, and he certainly didn’t want Callie getting upset. She’d been through enough already, what with all the morning sickness and everything.
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—’
Lucas shook his head, appalled that he’d been snappy with her. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be sharp with you/It’s just been a tough few months already.’ What was he doing? He wasn’t normally this prickly.
But Sophie was obviously used to the up-down moods of her patients and she smiled. ‘That’s all right. Here—take these.’ She passed over a long strip of black-and-white scan photos.
Callie took the opportunity to pull free of his cradling hand and took the pictures first. She held them out before her, admiring each one, and then turned them so that Lucas could see. ‘Look, Lucas.’
His heart expanded as he looked at each one. He could physically feel his love growing for this little bean-shaped creature he didn’t yet know, but had helped create. All right, maybe not in the most ideal of circumstances, but they’d find a way to make it work. They had to. Even though he knew he and Callie would never be together like that.
‘You okay?’ He looked into her eyes and saw the tears had run down her cheeks now. He hoped they were happy tears. She seemed happy, considering …
‘I’m good,’ she said, nodding. ‘You’d better take these.’ She offered the pictures to him, but he sat back, shaking his head.
‘Not all of them. I’ll take half. You’ll need some too.’
She looked puzzled, and he didn’t like the look on her face. It made him feel uncomfortable to think that maybe she still didn’t feel that the baby was part hers.
‘It’s your baby, too,’ he insisted.
The smile left her face and Callie avoided his gaze, looking down and then wiping the gel from her belly using the paper towel.
He helped her sit up and turned away so she could stand and fasten her trousers. Then, when he judged enough time had passed, he turned back and smiled at her. ‘Ready for work?’
‘As I’ll ever be.’
He thanked Sophie for her time and followed Callie, blinking in the brightness of the waiting room. He tried to avoid looking at all the couples holding hands. Couples in love, having a baby. The way he ought to be having a child with a partner.
Yet look at how I’m doing it.
He didn’t want to think about how appalled his parents must be. He’d avoided talking to them about it, knowing they’d be sad that his marriage had failed. He was upset to have let them down, having wanted his marriage to succeed for a long time—like theirs had.
‘Youngsters these days just give up on a relationship at the first sign of trouble!’ his mother was fond of saying.
But I’d not given up. I thought everything was fine … We were going ahead with the surrogacy. It all looked good as far as I was concerned. And then … Maggie said it was over. That she’d found true love elsewhere because she’d had to!
Now he and Callie, his best friend in the whole wide world, were in this awkward situation.
We have to make this work.
I have to.
Callie had not expected to have such a strong emotional reaction to seeing the baby on screen. Why would she have suspected it? Having a baby had never been one of her dreams, had it? Not really. She’d always been happy to let other people have the babies. She just helped them along in their journey from being a woman to a mother. Others could have the babies—others could make the mistakes. Others could be utter let-downs to their children and be hated by them in the long run. Because that was what happened. In real life.
What did people say about not being able to choose your family?
So even though she’d known she was pregnant, logically, had known she was carrying a child, she’d still somehow been knocked sideways by seeing it on screen. Her hypothetical surrogate pregnancy had turned into a real-life, bona fide baby that she might have to look after! And seeing it on screen had made her feel so guilty and so upset, because she already felt inadequate. She feared that this baby would be born into a world where its mother was useless and wouldn’t have a clue. Callie could already imagine its pain and upset.
Because she knew what it was like to have a mother like that.
Callie waited until the sonographer had led someone else into the scanning room and then she stopped Lucas abruptly. ‘Hold this,’ she said, passing him her handbag. ‘I need to use the loo.’ Her bladder was killing her! Sophie had pressed down hard, no matter what she’d said about being gentle.
In the bathroom, she washed her hands and then realised how thirsty she was and that she wanted a coffee. Her watch said that they had twenty minutes before they were due to start their shift, so when she went back outside she tried to ignore the anxious look on Lucas’s face and suggested they head to the café.
‘You okay with coffee?’ Lucas asked with concern.
‘I think so.’ She’d been off coffee for weeks. But now she could feel an intense craving for one and ordered a latte from the assistant. ‘This is so strange,’ she said as she gathered little sachets of sugar and a wooden stirrer.
Lucas looked about them, glancing at the café interior. ‘What is?’
‘This.’
‘Having coffee?’ He smiled.
She gave him a look. ‘You know what I mean! This. The situation. Me and you—having a baby. I mean …’ She swallowed hard, then asked him the question that had been on her mind ever since Maggie had walked away. The question that had been keeping her awake at night. The question that she wasn’t even sure she wanted answered. If he said he wanted her to be the mother … ‘How’s it going to work?’
She could tell her question had him stumped.
He was trying to decide how to answer her. After all, it wasn’t an easy situation. After Maggie’s big revelation they’d both been knocked for six—especially when Maggie had kept her word and disappeared out of their lives altogether. No one had heard a peep from her—not even the hospital where she’d worked. She’d really dropped them in it as they’d lost a midwife without notice!
For a while Callie had believed that at some point Maggie would call and it would all sort itself out again. That she and Lucas had simply had one giant misunderstanding and it would all be sorted easily. Because then it would be easier for her. Callie. And wasn’t that how Lucas operated? Before Maggie there’d been other girlfriends. There’d certainly been no shortage of them during the time she’d known him. Which seemed like forever. He’d always been splitting up with them and then getting back together again.
But
