heart pounded under her fingers. She could feel hers keeping time.
Heat flickered through her, making nonsense of her attempt to remain aloof. When had she been able to do any such thing around Eduard de Marigny? As a boy, he had enchanted her with his darkly handsome looks and challenging air of reserve. As a man he was even more handsome, but with a strength and self-assurance that had been missing from the boy. The result was breathtaking, literally.
“I can’t do this,” she said, all but suffocated by sensation.
“You’re doing remarkably well,” he murmured.
She persisted, pressing her palms against him to signal her seriousness. “Everything’s moving too fast. First I thought the lodge was mine, now I find it’s yours.”
“No reason you can’t be part of the package,” he said.
“No!” This time she made sure he understood her rejection of this notion.
He created a heartbeat of space between them and looked down at her, his gaze puzzled. “What’s the matter, Cris? To me, this feels pretty right.”
“You could have fooled me.” She couldn’t keep the bitterness out of her voice.
A frown etched a deep V in his forehead. “What do you mean?”
She hadn’t intended to remind him, but she was committed now. “When I was fifteen, I kissed you and you treated me as if I’d just crawled out from under a rock.”
He released her. “I was only eighteen myself. I didn’t have much skill at dealing with women.”
And now he did. The thought wasn’t as comforting as she knew he meant it to be. A wave of something very like jealousy overcame her. Her voice dropped to a whisper. “I thought you were attracted to me.”
Eduard let out a long breath. “I was.”
She hadn’t expected this. “Then why did you go out of your way to avoid me until you left for university?”
“I didn’t know any other way to handle a lovestruck fifteen-year-old. I obviously couldn’t encourage your attention.”
“Because I’m not royal like you?”
He crooked a finger under her chin and tilted her face up. “Because you were still a child.”
She wasn’t a child any longer, and his closeness threatened to overwhelm her defenses. “Just as well it was only a crush. I got over it.”
“Did you, Cris?”
“Of course.” The shakiness in her voice made the lie obvious.
Evidently not to Eduard. “Then all I can say is I’m sorry. I thought you wanted me to kiss you.”
If he only knew. “People change,” she said with a lightness that didn’t quite come off.
“I haven’t. Not where my affection for you is concerned.”
“Don’t, Eduard, please.” To find that he had cared about her after all was almost more than she could bear.
“Is there someone in your life?”
“Yes.” She didn’t tell him the someone was her unborn child.
“I see.” He turned away and paced to the window. “Is he planning to join you here?”
“We haven’t worked out the details.”
Eduard spun around. “Then why not stay and manage the lodge? There’s a caretaker’s cottage that could be made into a separate home.”
Dare she say yes? She knew he meant that she and the man he believed she was involved with could use the caretaker’s cottage, while she helped him get the lodge ready to open. Did it matter if the other person in her life turned out to be a baby? Of course it did, she accepted. Look at the damage one misunderstanding between them had done. Who knew what harm could come of starting out with another?
“Don’t give me your answer yet,” he urged before she could say anything. “I’d like to look around the estate first, get a feel for what might be done with it. Will you stay while we work up a plan of action?”
The pleasure shafting through her was out of all proportion to his suggestion. But it meant she could stay for a few more days. And she would be gone before he found out about the baby, so he need never feel disappointed in her. Now she knew that he had been attracted to her, she didn’t think she could cope with that.
“I’ll stay. Once we report what happened with the con man, I’ll need to be available for the police to interview me,” she said, knowing the excuse sounded lame. She could be interviewed equally well at the hotel in Tricot.
“You should.” He matched the seriousness of her tone.
She laughed nervously. “You said they would want to.”
“And your con man might have left the country by now.”
His comment plunged her into gloom, emphasizing that she stayed by Eduard’s grace and favor. The thought took some of the gloss off the idea. She was tempted to change her mind. Playing house in what she had thought of as her home only postponed the inevitable. She still had to make a life for herself and the baby. With only the money she had set aside to redecorate the lodge, it wouldn’t be easy. Why not face it now and get it over with?
Her expression must have telegraphed her intention, because Eduard said, “I mean to put our arrangement on a business footing, starting now.”
“What?”
“I intend to pay you a salary while you’re assisting me.”
She studied him suspiciously. “You wouldn’t be trying to make up for my losses, would you, your lordship?”
He lifted his hands, flattening his palms. “When we were younger, you called me that when you thought I was getting high and mighty. Offering to pay you isn’t in that class.” He shifted uncomfortably. “Putting you on my staff would serve to defuse any gossip that might arise out of your presence here.”
“It’s okay for you to have a female under your roof, as long as she’s a servant?” She knew she sounded angry and couldn’t make herself care. She felt as if she was fifteen again, being put in her place. “I think it’s best if I leave now.”
He touched her arm. “Cris, I didn’t ask to be royal. Things are simpler this way, trust me.”
His statement took the wind out of her sails. “I know, and I shouldn’t overreact. But if I’m to be paid for working for you, I want to do a real job.”
He looked relieved. “I can turn into a slave driver if you prefer. Some of the men under my command already think of me as one.”
“I don’t doubt it.” She had seen firsthand how autocratic he could be when he wanted. Catching sight of the twinkle in his dark gaze, she realized he was joking.
“Do
