would he have left, after all? No child should have to bear that burden.”
She felt tears come into her eyes, and she blinked fast and hard, not wanting Ty to see. She’d revealed more than enough.
* * *
Ty felt as though someone had clobbered him with a two-by-four. First of all, he couldn’t look across the table at Marissa without being attracted to her. He couldn’t look at her without thinking about their night together. It had been almost two years and it felt as if it had been yesterday. The chemistry that had arced between them back then hadn’t flickered out. It was still sparking now in spite of this whole emotional upheaval, in spite of the fact she’d kept something so important from him, and he didn’t know if he could ever trust her again.
Hearing her background had stirred up a locked box that he kept in a corner of his heart. It was locked because his childhood hadn’t been much better. His background made him a lousy bet for a dad. His own father hadn’t known how to handle responsibility. He hadn’t known how to stay. Maybe he simply hadn’t known how to love.
He wondered how Marissa had managed. She had been a waitress when they’d hooked up, he remembered. Had she done it on her own, or...
“Did your mom help?” he asked. “Is she helping you now?”
Marissa’s voice was almost a whisper. “I lost my mom a few months before we hooked up. Maybe that’s why that night happened. Maybe I just needed somebody to lean on.”
She’d done more than lean on him, and they both knew it. But he kind of understood what she meant. Loss could make a person reckless. Loss of his career had almost made him reckless until he’d realized his uncle needed him, until he’d realized he could turn being reckless into a little bit of risk-taking and possibly hit a jackpot.
“So what did you do during your pregnancy? You were a waitress, living on tips and minimum wage.” He motioned to the apartment. “How could you even afford this?”
“I didn’t have anyone to count on during my pregnancy. But I attended a free clinic and Dr. Kaitlyn Foster, Kaitlyn Preston now, took care of me. I found out about The Mommy Club. It’s a volunteer organization, and the women help parents in need. Sara Cramer, the physical therapist I was talking to when I saw you, is a member of The Mommy Club, too. They helped her.”
“I don’t get it. You didn’t have to pay them?”
“There’s no membership fee or anything like that. For example, Sara’s house burned down. Jase Cramer offered her and her child his guest cottage until she got back on her feet. The Mommy Club helped provide clothes and furniture and anything else they needed. It’s what the organization does. They help parents who can’t make it on their own. I know this apartment isn’t the greatest, but they found it for me. I can afford the rent. I’ve made it cheerful and upbeat for Jordan. I’m hoping to ask for a raise and look for a new place soon. But The Mommy Club made this life I have with him possible. They even have a day care set up. The fees are arranged on a sliding scale according to what you can afford to pay. I don’t know what I’d do without them.”
So Marissa didn’t know what she’d do without The Mommy Club. He didn’t like the idea of her depending on strangers. He didn’t like the idea of someone else doing what was best for his child. She had done a nice job of prettying up the apartment, but it was what it was, and he wanted them living somewhere nicer. He wasn’t exactly sure what he should do next.
Then suddenly he knew. “Can I hold Jordan?”
Marissa gave him an odd look, and he was about to spout the fact that he was the dad and had rights, when she explained, “He has a lot of energy and won’t stay still very long. Let me get him out of his saucer and then we’ll go from there.”
Ty had to acquiesce to her wishes. After all, she knew her son. Their son.
Jordan wasn’t happy when Marissa picked him up. The baby seemed fascinated with a blue elephant attached to the saucer. He squealed and kicked his legs until Marissa jiggled him, lifted him high up in the air and looked him straight in the eyes.
“I want you to meet somebody, big boy. Let’s not show off how contrary you can be right now, okay?”
Jordan reacted to the sound of her voice, stopped kicking and stared at her face, then he broke into a wide smile and cooed.
Ty was entranced.
He’d never really watched a baby’s antics before, and he was captivated, not only by Jordan but by the look on Marissa’s face. Clearly she was devoted to this baby. With her dark brown curls tumbling around her face, her eyes sparkling with the joys of motherhood, she was absolutely beautiful. Beautiful in a way he hadn’t recognized before. Did motherhood do that to a woman?
Now that Jordan was quieter, Marissa brought him into the crook of her arm again and approached Ty. She did not tell the little boy This is your dad.
Rather, she said, “I have somebody new I want you to meet.” Marissa explained to Ty, “He’s not usually shy about meeting new people. I think being at day care has done that. He just doesn’t like to stay in one place for too long.”
Her gaze met Ty’s and held. He knew exactly what she was thinking. Like father like son? Up until a few months ago, that had certainly been true.
He might as well admit his nervousness. “I’ve never held a baby before.”
Her lips quirked up and there was amusement in her eyes. “It’s sort of the same as holding a baby calf. They’re squiggly and want to get away.”
That analogy brought an unexpected chuckle from him. “Okay.” He’d held on to baby calves before.
Jordan was wearing a red shirt and denim overalls. One of the straps had slipped down his shoulder. Ty slipped his forefinger under it and straightened it.
Marissa was close enough that he caught the scent of her shampoo. Oh, how he remembered that scent. The night he’d made love to her, her hair had smelled like flowers, and that’s the scent he caught now. It triggered a response in his body that was totally inappropriate for this situation. He willed himself to block off any attraction to Marissa. He knew how to concentrate. He’d had to focus hard when he got up on those bulls. Now he focused hard on Jordan.
“How’d you pick his name?” Ty asked to fill the air with more than the vibrations between the two of them.
“I liked it,” she said simply.
He remembered again, no mom, no family, just The Mommy Club helping her, strangers helping her, and she was making a life for herself. Marissa Lopez was stronger than he ever imagined.
Taking the bull by the horns, so to speak, he slid his large hands under Jordan’s little arms. Then he lifted the little boy from Marissa’s hold. Jordan went perfectly still as Ty didn’t know what to do with him once he had him. Then he remembered how Marissa had tucked him into the crook of her arm. So he tried that. His little boy’s body was solid and warm.
His little boy.
Ty’s chest constricted and his throat tightened. Just what in the blue blazes was happening to him?
Jordan looked up at him, seemingly mesmerized by Ty’s face, and Ty was just as mesmerized
