kids and kids do silly things. We’re not to blame. Dad said so.”
“It’s just...”
“What is it with you and Quincy? You both seem to have a need to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Let it go. Please.”
“Dad was gone two years when Paige got pregnant and I needed to talk to him so badly. Quincy was in the army and I couldn’t talk to him, either. I made all the wrong decisions and I can’t even say it was for the right reasons. I was just a scared kid and I didn’t know what to do. I just wanted Paige to get out of a bad home life and the scholarship gave her that opportunity. I couldn’t take that away from her.”
“Jude, you did the right thing. You went back and got your son and he’s an amazing kid. Pat yourself on the back for once. If you feel you have to tell Paige, then tell her. Zane is a different matter. But I’m sure you’ll make the right decision for him, too. Stop agonizing over it.” He grabbed the reins of Jude’s horse. “Go spend some time with that pretty teacher and I’ll take care of the horses. And, for heaven sakes, smile, Jude. You’re freaking me out.”
“I just don’t want to hurt her.”
The horses milled around, neighing, ready for feed.
“Well, I’m not judging her or anything, but I can almost guarantee you before this is over, someone is going to get hurt and I’m just hoping it’s not you or Zane. Just saying.”
Phoenix was right. He couldn’t make any of this better for any of them. He just had to make sure his son wasn’t hurt. While Paige was in town, he somehow had to explain what had happened all those years ago. She deserved that. He knew that with all his heart and nothing anyone said would change his mind. Sometimes in life he had to make the rough decisions because he was a father. He could only pray this decision was the right one for his son.
And Paige.
“Dad, Dad...”
Jude sat up in bed and squinted at the clock. Five in the morning. “What are you doing up so early?”
Zane jerked on his jeans. “I want to go check on the new foal. It was amazing, Dad. White Dove was nervous and Uncle Quincy just talked to her and rubbed her head and her stomach and she calmed down. Her contractions were strong and Uncle Quincy kept her calm, you know, Dad, like you do. No one can do that but you and Uncle Quincy with cows and horses. You got the touch. And...”
“Take a breath.” Jude sat up and watched the excitement on his son’s face. Zane had been in bed when Jude had come in last night. He’d stayed longer than he’d expected at Annabel’s. He’d wanted her to know the truth and found it easy to talk to her. She understood he wanted to wait until the situation with Paige was over. She didn’t want to get involved, either, if his heart was somewhere else. Jude didn’t know where his heart was. But then, he did. It was with this little boy whose eyes were sparkling like firecrackers on the Fourth of July.
“It was amazing, Dad, I tell you. Uncle Quincy taped her tail because she was swishing it and then Jenny washed White Dove’s udder, teats and vulva with water and soap. And—”
“Vulva?”
“Yeah, it’s—”
“I know what it is.” He was surprised his son did, but that was Zane. He’d probably read about birthing and knew every detail. Once he learned something, he never forgot it. His memory was uncanny.
“Well, the foal’s feet were like this.” Zane stuck out his arms as far as he could and placed his head between them. “That’s the way she came out, in a white amniotic sac. Jenny said it was a perfect birth and Uncle Quincy agreed. Once the front feet and head and shoulders appeared, it was like swoosh and the rest of it followed into a yucky mess. Jenny’s already calling her Little Dove because she’s white and black like her mama. It took four attempts before Little Dove could stand on wobbly legs and she’s the cutest thing. You should’ve seen it, Dad. Do you think her legs are long like Bear’s ’cause they’re related?”
Jude swung his feet to the floor. “Yep, Red Hawk is their father.” Zane had seen births before on the ranch, but he was extra excited because he spent a lot of time with Quincy and his paint horses.
“I think I want to be a vet.”
Jude stared at his precious son with his hair in his eyes. “How about a scientist or a chemist who discovers a cure for cancer?”
“Cool, Dad. I can do that, too.” Zane grinned as he slipped a T-shirt over his head. “After everything was over, Quincy said I better go to the house or Grandma would be worried. He was right. She was sitting up, waiting on me. She said she can’t go to sleep unless I’m safely in bed. I’m lucky to have a grandma like that.”
“Yes, you are.” Jude felt a pang of guilt for staying out so late. He didn’t want his mother to stay up and wait for Zane. That was Jude’s job. Once in twelve years wasn’t bad, though.
“You were out with Ms. Hurley. Did you talk about me?”
“Our favorite topic of conversation.”
“Cool, Dad. I’m going to check on Little Dove and then come back and get ready for school so I can find a cure for cancer.” His cheeky son had the audacity to wink.
Zane darted out the door and Jude stood and stretched and then made his way to the shower. Today was the day. He would meet Paige for the first time in almost thirteen years. He wondered if she’d changed. Everyone changed in that amount of time. He certainly had. He wasn’t that scared teenage boy anymore. Raising a child had toughened him up quickly. He had to stay on his toes to make good choices and cowboy up when things got rough.
That scared boy had become a man ready to take on the world for Zane. He’d never for one minute regretted going back to get his son. But today he would have to explain that decision to Paige. He was prepared now. The scared boy had surfaced for a moment because he was afraid of losing the one thing that mattered the most to him in this world: his son. That bond was rock-solid and Jude knew that better than anyone.
Since he was going to a funeral, Jude put on starched jeans and a white shirt. With his hair combed, his hat in his hand, he headed for the door, only to be stopped by Zane coming through it.
“That was quick.” His son had a strange look on his face, one Jude knew well. Something was wrong and he knew not to push or Zane would clam up. “The foal okay?”
“Yeah. She was sucking, so I guess everything’s okay.”
“Didn’t you talk to Uncle Quincy?”
Zane shook his head. “He and Aunt Jenny were curled up in the hay under a blanket asleep, so I didn’t wake them.”
“You could have. It would have been okay.”
With his small shoulders hunched, Zane replied, “I don’t know, Dad. It’s different now.”
“How is it different?”
“Uncle Quincy doesn’t have much time for me anymore.”
Jude
