he waited, noting how white her knuckles were as they clutched the bag upon her lap.
And he waited.
She was looking at anything but him. Checking out the room as if it were new to her before she finally allowed herself to glance at his face. Her cheeks reddened in the most delightful way, and she was biting her bottom lip as she finally made eye contact.
‘I need some sleeping pills. Dr Preston told me to come again if I needed a repeat.’
Ah. There we go!
‘You’re not sleeping well?’
Her cheeks reddened some more, and again she averted her eyes. ‘Not really. Look, I’m needed back at work, so if you could just write me a prescription? I don’t want to keep my clients waiting.’
Nathan Jones sat back in his swivel chair and appraised her. He was curious as to why she needed them. ‘Sleeping pills are really a last resort. I’ll need a few details from you first of all.’
The flash of alarm in her eyes was startling to observe. And if she twisted the strap of her handbag any more it would soon snap.
Sydney shook her head. ‘I don’t have long.’
‘Neither do I. So let’s crack on, shall we? Eight minutes per patient can go by in the blink of an eye.’ He was trying to keep it loose. Casual. Non-threatening. This woman was as taut as a whip.
She let out an impatient breath. ‘What do you need to know?’
‘Tell me about your sleep routine.’
Does your husband snore? Does he toss and turn all night, keeping you awake? Wait... What the...?
Why was he worrying about whether she had a husband or not? He wasn’t looking to go out with this woman. She was a patient! At least for now. He had no doubt that the second she bolted from his consulting room she would make sure she never had to see him again!
‘What about it?’
‘Is it regular?’
‘I work long days at the veterinary surgery across the road from here. I’m the only vet there, so I’m on call most nights, and since the new homes got built I’ve been busier than ever.’
‘So you get called out a lot?’
‘I do.’
He nodded and scribbled a note. ‘And are you finding it difficult to drop off to sleep?’
‘Yes.’
‘Worried about your beeper going off? Or is it something else?’
She looked at him directly now. ‘Look, Dr Preston has given me the pills before. I’m sure he won’t mind if you give me some more.’
She didn’t like him prying. He glanced at her records, his eyes scanning the previous note. Yes, she was correct. She’d been given sleeping pills by Dr Preston this time last year...
‘...due to the sudden death of the patient’s daughter three years ago, patient requested tranquillisers...’
He felt a lump of cold dread settle in his stomach as he read the notes fully.
She’d lost her child. Sydney Harper had lost her daughter and she couldn’t sleep when the anniversary of her death got close. It happened every year. Oh, heavens.
He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, mentally apologising.
‘I...er...yes. I can see that in your notes.’
How terrible. The most awful thing that could ever happen to a parent. And it had happened to her and he was trying to poke around in her despair when it was clear in her notes why she needed the pills. But would he be being a good doctor just to give them to her? Or would he be a better doctor if he tried to stop her needing them? They could be addictive...
‘I’m sure he won’t mind if you give me some more tablets.’
Nathan had a daughter. Anna. She was six years old and she was all he had in this world. He couldn’t imagine losing her. She was everything to him right now. What this poor woman had been through...! No wonder she looked the way she did.
‘I can write you a prescription, but...’ He paused. ‘Have you ever been offered counselling?’
She looked directly at him, her demeanour suggesting she was about to explain something to a child. ‘I was. And I did go to start with. But it didn’t help me so I stopped going.’
‘Perhaps you weren’t ready for it then. Would you be interested in trying it again now? It might help you with this sleeping issue. I could arrange it for you.’
The computer whirred out the prescription and he grabbed it from the printer and passed it over to her.
‘Counselling is not for me. I don’t...talk...about what happened.’
‘Maybe that’s the problem?’ The words were out before he could censor them. He bit his lip with annoyance. Too late to take the words back. He needed to cover their crassness. And quickly. ‘Have you tried a different night-time routine? Warm milk? A bath? That kind of thing?’
But she’d stood up, was staring down at him, barely controlling the anger he could see brewing behind her eyes. ‘Are you a father, Dr Jones?’
He nodded solemnly, picturing his daughter’s happy, smiling face. ‘I am.’
‘Have you ever experienced the loss of a child?’
He could see where she was going with this, and felt horrible inside. He looked away. ‘No. Thankfully.’
‘Then don’t tell me that warm milk—’ she almost spat the words ‘—will make me better.’ She spun on her heel and when she got to the door, her hand on the handle, she paused, her head low, then glanced over her shoulder, her teeth gritted. ‘Thank you for my prescription.’
Then she left.
He felt as if a hurricane had blown through the room.
He felt winded. Stunned. He had to get up and pace, sucking in a lungful of air, running both hands through his hair before he stood and stared out of the window at the sparrows and starlings trying to take food from the frozen feeders hanging outside. The smaller birds were carefully picking at the peanuts, whereas the starlings were tossing white breadcrumbs everywhere, making a mess.
No, he had not experienced the same pain that Sydney had gone through. He would never want to. But he did know what it felt like to realise that your life had changed for evermore.
People dealt with tragedies in different ways. Some found comfort in food. Some in drink or drugs. Some kept it all inside. Others found it easy to talk out their feelings and frustrations. A few would blindly choose to ignore it and pretend it had never happened.
He felt deflated now that she’d left his room. Sydney Harper was intense—yes—and hurting—definitely—but
