had to sleep but the thought of closing her eyes on her little girl had been unbearable. ‘You sleep and I’ll hold her every single moment. And I promise I won’t sleep while you’ve entrusted her to me.’
He’d just...been there. She could hardly think of Emily without thinking of Tom.
And then, after Emily had died...
Being bundled back to Cray Point. A simple, beautiful ceremony on the headland because she couldn’t think where else was right. Then sleeping and sleeping and sleeping, while Tom picked up the threads of...being Tom.
Which included his women. Alice was there, vaguely resentful of Tasha’s presence. And then Alice was no longer around and Tasha knew it was partly because of her.
She’d said something to him—apologised—and Tom had grinned. ‘Don’t fuss yourself, lassie,’ he’d told her. ‘Alice knows I don’t take my love life seriously. The whole town knows it.’
So he was like Paul. That was the thought that was holding her rigid now.
He was lovely, kind, gentle, caring.
He went from woman to woman.
He’d just suffered a cerebral bleed from a surfing accident. He was yet another man who took crazy risks...
The Blake brothers spelled trouble. She didn’t want to go anywhere near him, but she owed him so much.
She thought of him now, the image that was burned into her mind. Waking up from sleep and finding him crooning down to her little daughter.
‘Surfing’s awesome,’ he’d been telling her tiny baby. ‘The feel of cool water on your toes, the strength of the wave lifting you, surging forward... Feel my fingers as I push under your toes. Imagine that’s a wave, lifting you, surging... That’s right, our Emily, curl your toes. You have such a tiny life, our Emily, but we need to fill it with so much. I wish I could take you surfing but feel the power under your toes and know that surfing’s wonderful and you’re wonderful and I hope you can take all this with you.’
And Tasha found herself blinking and Hilda gasped and glared at Rhonda, who grabbed a handful of tissues from the counselling table. Tasha suddenly found she was being hugged. ‘Dear, no,’ Rhonda gasped. ‘We shouldn’t have come. We never should have asked. Tom will be okay. Cray Point will survive. Forget it, sweetheart, forget we ever came.’
Somehow she disengaged from their collective hug. Somewhere she’d read a research article that said hugging released oxytocin and oxytocin did all sorts of good things to the body. It made you more empathic. It made you want to connect more with your fellow humans.
With Tom? She’d be playing with fire.
Why? Because he was like Paul? He wasn’t. Not really. She’d stayed with him for a month and there’d never been a hint that he was interested in her...that way.
Besides, she was older, wiser, and she knew how to protect herself.
And this time she didn’t need Tom. Tom needed her, and Rhonda and Hilda were waiting for an answer.
And in the end there was only one answer she could give. No matter what Tom’s personal life was like, what he’d done for her had been beyond price.
And then the idea that had been playing at the edges of her mind suddenly, unexpectedly surfaced. The idea had been growing, like an insistent ache, an emptiness demanding to be filled, a void it took courage to even think about.
She could still scarcely think about it but if she went to help Tom she’d be returning to Australia, where an IVF clinic still held Paul’s gift.
She’d agonised over using Paul’s sperm last time, but in the end it had come down to thinking her baby could know of its father. This time the tug to use the same sperm was stronger. Another baby would be Emily’s brother or sister.
And suddenly that was in her heart, front and centre, and she knew what her answer would be.
‘Of course I’ll go,’ she told them swiftly, before she had the time to change her mind. Before fear took over. ‘It’ll take me a couple of days to get there but I’ll do it.’
‘Oh, Tasha,’ Hilda breathed.
‘But don’t tell him,’ Rhonda urged. ‘He won’t let you come if you tell him. He’ll say he’s fine. He’ll fire us for contacting you.’
‘I’d like to see him try,’ Hilda declared, but she sounded nervous and Tasha summoned a grin.
‘Okay,’ she told them. ‘I won’t warn him. But he’d better not be in bed with Susie when I get there.’
‘I wouldn’t think so,’ Hilda declared, though she didn’t sound absolutely certain.
‘Sure,’ Tasha said, but she didn’t feel sure in the least.
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