the base of the mountains?’
‘Yes. And that’s Jack’s Pass behind them. It’s the road in from the high country farms.’
The whole scene couldn’t be any further from where she’d recently been living as it was possible to get. Sand to snow. Roasting temperatures to bone-chilling ice. She tugged her jacket tighter around her. ‘Do you like living here?’
‘It’s where my hospital is.’
‘So you moved wherever you had to for the hospital?’
‘Basically, yes. But the place has grown on me.’ Surprise softened his tight features, as though that idea had only just occurred to him.
‘Very different to Auckland.’ A city with more than a million people didn’t compare to a village of a few hundred.
‘More friendly. Even too friendly at times. Everyone likes to know everyone else’s business. But there are a lot of pluses to that, too.’ Tom still studied her.
What was he looking for? Whatever it was, surely it could wait until they were inside somewhere warm.
‘Can we go?’ she asked in a quiet voice.
‘Sure.’ But still he didn’t drive off.
Squashing a flare of exasperation, she reached across the seat between them and gripped his arm, shook him. But touching him further unsettled her already stretched nerves. The only man she’d ever loved. Tom. And here she was, unable to ignore those old feelings she’d had for him. Unable to pretend she’d got over him completely.
Snatching her hand back, she wrapped her arms under her breasts as she struggled to control the urgent need to throw herself into his arms and snuggle against his chest. A place she’d always felt safe and loved. If only they could go back in time to when they’d been so happy and in love.
‘Fiona? Is there another reason for you coming here?’ At last he began driving.
She blinked, dragged her mind together. He’d dropped the professional approach for a moment. She’d try not to scare him off with her answer.
‘I’ve wanted to catch up with you for a long time, but I haven’t had the opportunity to come back to New Zealand for a few years. When I decided to come home on leave I didn’t want to have nothing to do, so I put my name down with the medical personnel agency in the hope I’d get work as a locum. When this vacancy was mentioned I jumped at it. I thought I could spend a little time catching up with you while at the same time helping out at your hospital.’
Something deep inside had driven her to come to Hanmer Springs, to Tom. The job was an excuse. She’d have come anyway. She’d loved this man with all her heart, loved him beyond reason. Then she’d gone and treated him appallingly, disappearing out of his life without a backward glace. Now it was time to make amends in some way, if he would let her. If nothing else, she owed him an apology for her behaviour.
Tom’s hands gripped the steering wheel, making his driving stiff and jerky. ‘Don’t expect too much of my time, Fiona. We are a very busy hospital.’
She said softly, ‘I’m very glad I can help out.’
The butterflies tripping around her stomach became thundering elephants as her mind refused to consider how she’d survive the coming days if Tom didn’t spend some personal time with her. Though she still believed she’d done the right thing in coming to help, so that Tom’s young patients didn’t have to suffer long delays for their surgery, only now did she understand how high the cost of spending a full week around Tom could be to herself. Enormous, if she wasn’t careful to keep her emotions under some sort of control. The love she’d felt for Tom might not have survived, but there were still a lot of feelings for him that hadn’t gone away and which she wasn’t prepared to face. The sense of belonging with him, the old need to always tell him everything, the longing for the solidarity she’d known with him. Those were the rocks their marriage had been built on—the things she’d missed as much as his love.
‘We’d better get a move on. Some of your patients have already arrived, and they’re anxious to meet you.’ He braked for the narrow gateway out on to the gravel road.
‘Is anyone concerned about the change of surgeon?’
‘Some parents are a little apprehensive, but that’s probably due to nerves about their children undergoing surgery.’ He hesitated. ‘You’ve got a lot to do this week. Wait until you see the stack of patient files on your desk.’
‘I’ve seen the surgical roster. Not a lot of time to spare.’ Not a lot of time to get alongside Tom. But she was here, in his village, about to work at his hospital, prepared to give him everything she had to assuage her guilt. That was a start. Then all she had to do was get him to understand that she’d left him for his own good.
That was all. She flicked her middle finger with her thumb. Might as well climb Mount Everest without an oxygen tank on her back.
Tom gave her his first full-blown smile. ‘Think of all the children you’ll be helping by making their worlds a happier place.’
It seemed crazy that an irrational jag of joy should strike her at the sight of that heart-melting smile, but she saw it as progress. One teeny step forward. His patients were the way through his barriers. ‘If I can fix things for any child then I’m very pleased to do so.’
And if she could fix what was wrong between her and Tom, then so much the better. Then she’d be able to get on with deciding what was the next phase in her life.
CHAPTER TWO
IT FELT weird to be sitting beside Tom as he drove them to the hospital. Strangely, Fiona felt as though the intervening years apart hadn’t happened. Yet she didn’t know what to say, how to make ordinary conversation.
During the short trip past alpine chalets lining the village streets Fiona felt her muscles tighten more with every minute she sat beside a now silent Tom. She wondered what he was thinking about. His rigid back and tense shoulders were a bit of a clue that he felt strange in this situation too. Gone were any remnants of that earlier smile.
Perhaps small talk would lighten the atmosphere. ‘Tom—’
‘Fiona—’
‘You first.’
‘After you,’ Tom muttered as he turned into a wide, tree-lined driveway and braked.
Her mouth fell open at her first glimpse of Tom’s hospital. Surprise rocketed through her, all thought of what she’d been about to say forgotten.
‘Welcome to the Specialist Children’s Hospital.’
‘Wow. It’s impressive. And gorgeous.’ An enormous brick dwelling dominated extensive well-groomed lawns. It was three storeys high and shaped like a square C, and ivy covered the majority of the old, darkened brick exterior.
‘Isn’t it?’ His tone softened, as did his taut muscles. Pride made his eyes sparkle.
‘I expected something new and utilitarian, but this looks like those mansions you see in English country magazines. How did
