to get used to—the fact that there’s no one else to fall back on. No equipment, no tests or drugs, no excuses...
“It scared me when I first got here until I came to terms with how I was going to have to rely on myself and all my skills and knowledge. That didn’t make working in this hospital any easier, but it did put things into proper perspective.”
“You’ve gotten used to it, haven’t you?”
“Let’s just say that I’ve learned to work with the knowledge that the best I can hope for is what I have on hand at the moment, and the people here who want medical help are grateful for whatever I have to offer. They don’t take it for granted the way society in general has come to take much of its medical care for granted. So, once you understand that, you can get used to just about anything this type of practice will hand you.”
“Then you don’t really look forward, do you?”
“Can’t afford to. If I did, I’d probably get really disappointed, because anything forward from this point is the same as anything looking backward. Nothing changes and, in practical terms, it probably never will.”
“But you chose a jungle practice over what you had for some reason. Was it a conscious choice, or did you come here with expectation of one thing and get handed something else?”
“I got recruited to one of the leading hospitals by someone like you. They wanted my surgical skills and they came up with a pretty nice package to offer me. Since I’ve never stayed in any one position too long—”
“Why not?” she interrupted.
“Because there’s always something else out there. Something I haven’t tried yet. Something that might be better than what I’ve had.” Something to distract him from the fact that he’d never found what he wanted.
“In other words, you’re never contented?”
“In other words, I like to change up my life every now and then. Which is why I came here to Costa Rica. The country is recruiting doctors, the whole medical industry is competing in a worldwide arena and it sounded exciting. Probably like it did to you when they came calling on you. And I’m assuming they did come calling.”
“Something like that.” But her motive in coming here wasn’t because she was restless, or that she simply needed a change in pace. Her acceptance came because she needed to expand herself in new directions. Someplace far, far away from her father.
“Well, anyway—they did a hard recruit on me. Kept coming back for about a year, until I finally decided to give it a shot.”
“So you did work in one of the hospitals in San José?”
“For about a month. The timing was perfect. I’d just ended a personal relationship, which made me restless to go someplace, do something else. You know, running away. Which actually has been my habit for most of my adult life.” Damien grinned. “Anyway, they offered, eventually I accepted, and it took me about a week to figure out I hated it.”
“Why?”
“Because it was just like what I’d left. Brought back old memories of my last hospital, of how my former fiancée thought I should be more than a general surgeon, of how my future father-in-law said that being a general surgeon was so working class. Like there’s something wrong with being working class! I’d always loved working for a living but that one criticism so totally changed me, there were times I didn’t even recognize myself. Tried to be what my future family considered their equal. Put on airs I didn’t have a right to. Drowned myself in a lifestyle that I didn’t like, just to play the perfect part.” He shook his head. “I really needed something different after I got through all that. Got it all sorted—who I really was, what I really wanted to do with my life. So one day I saw an ad where a little jungle hospital needed a doctor...”
“Like the ad you placed?” He had so much baggage in his past, she wondered how he’d gotten past it to reach this point in his life. It took a lot of strength to get from where he used to be to where he was now. A strength she wished she had for herself.
Damien chuckled. “The same ad.”
“The exact same ad?” she asked him.
“One and the same. No pay, hard work, long hours. Nothing like I’d ever been involved with before. So, since I’d come to Costa Rica seeking a new adventure—hell, what’s more of an adventure than this?”
“Maybe a hospital with Egyptian cotton sheets?” Everyone had something to run away from, she supposed. He did. She did. It was lucky for both of them that their need to run away had coincided with a place for them to go. Whether running into each other would turn out to be a good thing remained to be seen.
“I’ve lowered my expectations these past few months. If I have any bedsheets, I’m happy.”
“But they didn’t train you in medical school to be concerned about the sheets.”
“And they didn’t train you in medical school how to be a recruiter. Which makes me wonder if it’s a good fit for you since you came knocking on my humble little door, wanting something different than what you already had. Ever think you made the wrong choice, that you belong back in your old life?”
OK, based on the little bit she knew about him, this was the Damien she’d expected. Not the one who almost garnered her admiration, but the one who annoyed her. “I made a very good choice coming to Costa Rica, regardless of what you think!” He was beginning to sound like her father. Bad choice, Juliette. Think about it. You’ll come to your senses. “Not that it’s any of your business.”
“In my hospital, it is my business. Everything here is my business, including you. Because you working here affects everything else around you, and I have to protect the hospital’s interests.”
“What’s your point?” she snapped.
“That’s for you to figure out. Which, I’m sure, will happen in time.”
“There’s nothing to figure out. I accepted a position that brings first-rate medical professionals here. It’s an honorable job and I like it. It’s...important.”
“I’m not saying that it’s not. With the need to improve medical conditions expanding, I’m sure it’s becoming a very important position. But is it important enough to you? Or is patient care more important?”
“Why can’t both be important to me?”
“In my experience, I’ve found that we poor mortals don’t always do a good job of dividing ourselves.”
“That’s assuming I’m divided.”
“Well, I suppose only you know if that’s the case.” Damien stepped away from the bed. “Anyway, your patient will be here shortly, so I’d suggest you figure out some way to expedite those bedsheets so you can go be a real doctor.” With that, he spun around and started walking away.
“Are you always so rude?” she asked him while he was still within earshot. He was not only rude, he was also nosy, presumptuous and out of line.
Damien stopped and turned back to face her. “I do it rather well, don’t you think?”
*
