he said, still holding her hand.
A dog whined from nearby. A whine Katie recognized, and she went stiff, glancing over her shoulder toward the darkness that enveloped her house.
Misunderstanding her body language, Matt pulled away. “If you’re not—”
“I’d love to,” she said on a rush of air. “See you again, that is.”
He brightened at her words, placed his hands gently on her shoulders. “I’ll call you, then.” He leaned closer and Katie’s eyes shut automatically then popped open again when the crash of a garbage can reverberated from her side yard.
Matt jumped back, releasing her once more.
“Probably just a bear,” she said, her eyes narrowing at the darkness. “They can be annoying sometimes.” Her voice pitched louder on the word annoying.
“Do you want me to take a look?” Matt asked at the same time he stepped back. It took a while to get used to the wildlife that meandered into mountain towns, especially for those who’d moved to Colorado from the city. Besides, Katie had no intention of allowing him to discover exactly what—or who—was lurking in her side yard.
“It’s fine.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “I keep the regular can in the garage. There’s nothing he can mess with over there. I’d better go in, though. Early morning at the bakery.”
Matt kept his wary gaze on the side of her house. “I had a great time, Katie. I’ll call you soon. You should get in the house.” He flashed a smile but waited for her to climb the steps before turning to his Explorer.
Katie waved as he drove away. She stood there a minute longer until his taillights disappeared around the corner. Blowing out a frustrated breath, she tapped one foot against the wood planks of the porch. “You can come out now,” she called into the darkness. A few seconds later, Tater trotted onto the porch, tail wagging. Katie bent and scratched the dog’s ears. Tater immediately flipped onto her back.
“Slut,” Katie whispered as she ran her fingers through the Lab’s soft fur. She didn’t want to think about how much she had in common with Tater, since Katie’s instinct was to beg for loving every time she thought about Noah. Even at her angriest she wanted him, which made her more pathetic than she was willing to admit.
She commanded herself to woman up as Noah hopped onto her porch and leaned against the wood rail.
“Are you afraid to come any closer?” she asked, straightening. Tater flipped to her feet and headed into the box spruce bushes that ran along the front of the house.
“Should I be?” His voice was low and her body—stupid, traitorous body—immediately reacted. The darkness of the night lent a sort of intimacy to their exchange that Katie tried her best to ignore.
She forced herself not to look at him standing in the shadows. She was stronger than she had been a week ago, committed to moving on from her silly girlhood crush. The fact that the object of that crush had just crashed a very promising first date was irrelevant. “What are you doing here, Noah?”
“Protecting you.”
She huffed out a laugh. “From a really nice guy who might actually be interested in me?” She turned for the house, opening the screen door. “Excuse me if I forget to thank you.”
Her fingers had just touched the door handle when Noah was beside her, reaching out to grab her wrist. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, releasing her when she tugged away from his grasp. “I did want to make sure you were okay.”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know.” He raked his fingers through his blond hair, leaving the ends sticking out all over. It should have made him look silly, but to Katie it was a reminder of running her own hands through his hair when he’d held her. “I’ve been a lousy friend, and this isn’t my place. I’ve told you I can’t give you what you want. We both know that. But...you’re alone here, Katie.”
Her lungs shut down for a second as sharp pain lanced through her at his words. Then she gasped and his gaze met hers, a mix of tenderness and sympathy that had her blinking back sudden tears. He knew, she realized. Her biggest fear, the one nobody recognized because she kept it so hidden. As busy as she was, as much as everyone in this community needed her, at the end of the day Katie was alone. Alone and afraid that if she didn’t make herself useful, they’d toss her aside. It was irrational, she knew, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself from believing it. Without the bakery and her volunteering and offers to help wherever it was needed, where would she be? Who would want her—who would love her—if she didn’t have something to give them?
Could Noah possibly understand? And if he did, how could she ever look at him again?
He paced to the edge of the porch and back. “When was the last time you saw your parents?”
Her mouth dropped open and she clapped it shut again. “Two summers ago. They had a layover in Denver. Dad had just finished an Ironman in Europe.”
“They didn’t come to Crimson?”
She shook her head. “He wanted to get back to his business. His coaching business has exploded in the past few years. He still races but spends more time training other elite athletes.” He continued to watch her, so she added, “Mom and Dad haven’t been here since my grandma’s funeral.”
“So no one in your family has seen the changes you’ve made to the bakery? How successful you’ve made it.”
“It was successful when Gram ran it.”
“Not to the level it is now. Do your parents have any idea?”
“They wanted me to sell the shop and the house after Gram died. Mom never liked me working at the bakery. You know that.” She smoothed a hand across her stomach. “She didn’t think it was good for me to be near all that sugary temptation. She was afraid I’d get fat again.”
“You weren’t fat.”
She almost smiled, but the memory of so many years of being ashamed about her weight and having every mouthful of food analyzed by her mother drained any wistful humor she felt about the past. “You don’t remember when I first moved to Crimson. By the time you started dating Tori in high school, I was halfway to the goal weight my parents set for me.”
“I remember you just fine.” Noah shrugged. “I just never saw you like that.”
Katie suppressed a sigh. Was it any wonder she’d fallen in love with him back then? She bit down on her lip, forcing herself to keep the walls so newly erected around her heart in place. “You never saw me at all.”
* * *
As if he needed that reminder, Noah thought, as Katie’s words hung in the air between them. He should walk away right now. It had been a stupid, impulsive idea to show up at her house when he knew she had a date. He had no business intruding on her life.
“I’m a jackass, Katie-bug,” he said with a laugh then cringed when she didn’t correct him. “But I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted you to be happy. I came here because... I guess it doesn’t matter why. I want to be a better friend if you’ll let me.” He shut his
