on the coffee tin.
“No.” Paula focused on the invisible design she traced into the island top. “And I’m thinking about keeping it that way.”
Bormann looked every bit the hard-nosed professor then as she eyed her former student. She set down the coffee tin and moved closer to Paula at the island. “Keeping it that way as District Attorney Paula Starker, or Paula Starker, Esquire?”
“I’m pretty sure District Attorney Paula Starker is history.” Paula slumped against the stool back. “I’m not running for reelection. As for Paula Starker, Esquire... I’m not sure yet.”
“That last case really got to you,” Bormann noted, and began toying with the end of her dark braided ponytail.
“In a pretty big way.” Paula saw no point in denying it.
There was no need to provide details. Paula’s last case had made front page headlines nationwide. The inner workings of the Philadelphia Police Department had been a hot topic for months following the news of a money laundering scandal that had brought down several members of the department.
“It’s not easy to prosecute cops you’ve worked with. I’ve bought Christmas presents for some of their kids and—” Paula couldn’t continue. Her thoughts went to top members of the brass and even police academy instructors.
“I almost lost my best friend in the mix,” she added, thinking of Chief of Detectives Sophia Hail-Rodriguez, who’d been targeted when she’d gotten too close to the truth. “That one hit way too close to home.” She shuddered while shaking her head. “I’ve had enough, Professor B. I mean I—I still love the law. I... I just don’t know what my place is in it anymore.”
“And how does your young man fit into this?”
“He doesn’t.”
Bormann smiled when Paula snapped the words.
Paula silently ordered herself to take it down a notch. “He’s a whole other pile of crap-drama, I mean.”
“Ah! So there’s love there.”
Paula looked confused. “Well, I just called him a pile of crap, so...”
Bormann seemed tickled. Clasping her hands, she grabbed the tin and turned for her coffeemaker. “We’ll discuss him first before we get to the real shitty part of the agenda.”
Paula noticed the woman was carrying a folder once she’d put the coffee on and turned back to the island.
“Before we talk about him, I’ve got no real advice to give about your political decisions other than to list all the pros and cons, weigh them dispassionately before you choose.” Bormann slid the folder across the wood-grain countertop to Paula.
“I can’t imagine what all it must take to be a DA,” she continued. “There are aspects to that job that can affect your decisions in ways I’m not capable of anticipating. As for your law career, I can tell you that there are all kinds of ways to serve. Maybe you need to find a new way.”
Paula glanced at the folder and smiled. “Will I find a way in there?”
Bormann shrugged. “Maybe a career in private practice could be your calling. If so, consider that—” she tapped the folder “—my request to become your first client.”
Paula’s smile vanished when her jaw dropped.
He should’ve waited. He should’ve waited before pressing her to talk or to let him talk—explain. He had pressed though, and what had that gotten him except her telling him where to go? She’d reminded him with scalding efficiency of just how much he’d hurt her.
Now, three weeks later, that moment still maintained prime position in his head. She’d pretty much told him he had no chance with her, and yet he’d spent the better part of his time since the ill-fated encounter on the beach assuring himself that this wasn’t over.
He couldn’t fathom why he was so sure of that now, when they’d been out of each other’s lives for ages. Linus knew why, of course. Paula had never been out of his head. Not really. Such a thing wasn’t possible when she was the district attorney in the city he lived in.
Paula Starker was a frequent presence on his TV screen when a new case required her input for the evening broadcast. Not only that, but as a public figure—a beautiful public figure—her private life was also prime fodder for the rumor mill.
Linus could’ve done without all the buzz on the latest athlete, actor or musician she’d been seen on the town with. Still, when the odd occasion arose where they wound up at the same event, he managed to make himself scarce. He made himself scarce when what he really wanted was to rip out the intestines of the latest idiot who thought to claim what was his. What used to be his, he reminded himself.
Such torture, however, didn’t stop him from tuning in for the gossip. The celebrity involvements rarely lasted beyond a date or two. When she’d been caught out with someone he didn’t recognize and those outings numbered beyond four...those were the times his heart seized in his chest. Those were the times he feared she was lost to him for good.
The fact that she wasn’t lost to him for good gave him hope. Seeing her on that beach, though...witnessing the sheen of tears in her eyes not spilled...
He’d hurt her in the past, badly. Regardless of how much he assured himself that all wasn’t hopeless between them now, there was no going forward until he told her why. He’d lost it that night, demolished the place that was meant to signify a defining moment in their futures. It was the place he’d planned to ask her to be his wife.
Linus sensed a numbness along his forearm and saw that his drawn fist was to blame. He had long since triumphed over the anger—the rage—that had ruled him. There were times, however, when he believed he hadn’t triumphed at all—that the demons had only lain in wait for the perfect thing to destroy.
It had been that way when he’d found Paula. He’d gone years without an episode, even joined his best friends on a completely bold venture to revamp an already successful and revered company. Linus had been the outspoken visionary behind Joss Construction when he met the ambitious new lawyer with future designs on turning the Philly political scene on its ear by becoming the city’s first black female DA.
Life had been good then, and their chemistry had been explosive. Now, Linus’s appetite for women had little to do with conquests and more to do with hope. It was the hope that a woman out there could make him forget Paula Starker. He didn’t think such a woman existed. Their emotions had delved far beneath the shallow physical allure to collide with something far more powerful. The surface attraction, however, had done a total number on him. The confident lawyer with the nonstop curves had had him cold.
Linus had wanted Paula in the most desperate way, but he’d wanted more than the delights her body promised. He’d sensed a kinship—a connection of the spirit that surpassed the physical—and he had wanted to see where things could go between them. Such was not to be, and the blame for that rested right at his feet. He wanted—needed—to make it right. More than that, he wanted her back, wanted her to be his, the way she always should’ve been. His and
