you if you slipped some into my sandwiches tomorrow. I’ll make sure I don’t label them so you won’t know which are mine.’ He laughed. Actually laughed. It felt strange, muscles working in his belly that were usually only taxed by exercise. ‘No pancakes today. I made her eat porridge, but I was bribed to do pancakes tomorrow. Don’t be surprised if I come in covered in batter. That happens.’
She smiled. ‘Bribery or batter?’
‘Both. Too often.’
‘Kids, eh?’ The way she said it gave him pause. Wistful? Sad? There was a gentle raise of her eyebrows, a shrug. That’s life. But she’d already closed down enough at the remotest hint of a conversation about anything too personal, so he left it.
Suddenly serious, she closed down the computer and stood up. ‘Hey, did you check on Maxine? Have you heard how she’s doing? I mean… I know I’m not a relative or anything and I barely know her, so I hope you don’t think I’m prying, but—’
‘But you probably saved her life and for that I can’t thank you enough.’ If Rose hadn’t been here God knew what might have happened. ‘I just spoke with the cardiologist at Lancaster; she’s comfortable enough and they confirmed a myocardial infarction. She’s going to be in for a while.’
‘Next time you speak to her, give her my regards, please.’
‘I’m going over to the hospital tonight, so will do.’ He checked his watch. Time was marching. He really shouldn’t be standing here doing this, no matter how much he was enjoying trying to make amends. Thank God the rain had stopped a few hours ago. The roads would be dry and clear so…he steered his mind from where it usually went when he thought about rain and driving, and reframed things…so it wouldn’t take too long to get there and back. An easy drive of fifty minutes each way.
She frowned at her watch. ‘Really? All that way? It’s getting late.’
‘I’ll take Katy, my daughter; we’ll just pop in for a quick visit.’ It would have to be a very quick visit if he didn’t move soon. But his mouth started to run away on a different tangent. ‘You enjoyed your walk this morning? Except the part where a bad-tempered bloke bawled you out?’
She brushed her hand along her hair, smoothing some wayward wisps, and nodded, an ironic smile at the memory. ‘Well, yes, apart from grumpy men commenting on my inappropriate, but very lovely, cardigan it is beautiful up there. I can see why you live in that house—the view’s amazing and it’s such a quaint cottage.’
Pippa had loved it too, the second she’d set foot on the land. More than enough bedrooms, the perfect garden, a kitchen with the best view in the county. He’d bought it for her, for their future and the big family they were going to have…
And just like that his dead wife slipped so easily back into his brain. A familiar tight ache settled under his ribcage. Maybe he hadn’t moved on as much as he’d thought. ‘Yes. On a clear day you can see as far as Morecambe.’ His voice was tighter, as if his throat had been rubbed with sandpaper.
If Rose noticed she didn’t make it obvious. ‘Someone told me you could see all the way to Ireland, but I think they were pulling my leg. I only walked up to Craggy Gill and back this morning. Just a quick stretch of my legs before I came in here.’
Fifteen minutes from his house. ‘I should have asked you where you were headed then. Lesson learnt.’ But the thought of Pippa reminded him of everything he should be doing instead of standing here trying to make a pretty woman smile. ‘Right. I have to go.’
He didn’t want to. Something about her made him want to hang around and chat. But… Katy. Maxine. Pip. Sweet Pip. The hollow in his chest expanded.
Was he moving on? Could he? There was that panic again, deep inside.
Rose headed towards the door. ‘Great, I’ll come with you.’
‘No.’ He had to get his head sorted. And collect his daughter, then drive to Lancaster Hospital.
‘Just outside. That’s all.’ Rose blinked. Twice. ‘I don’t know how to lock up.’ She wiggled her fingers. ‘No keys?’
‘Right. Yes.’ What had he been thinking? That she’d somehow want to come with him? Home? To the hospital? Anywhere? What a ridiculous idea. Almost as ridiculous as wanting to make her smile, instead of reminding himself how futile that would be.
‘Are you taking your medications?’
‘Of course. Not something I’m about to forget, right? They keep me alive.’ Rose sighed inwardly and shook her head. It was lovely that her mother was so concerned, but really…sometimes the concern was beyond suffocating.
‘Why are you so breathless? What’s the matter? Are you ill? Have you got an infection?’
‘I’m climbing a mountain, Mum.’ Despite the pride at being able to achieve something she’d never imagined possible a few years ago, Rose felt her mother’s anxiety shimmering down the phone all the way from London. It didn’t matter how many miles she put between them, there was no escape when she was only a phone call away. Still, she couldn’t pop round unannounced like she used to do, not without a lot of planning. Rose tried to steady her breathing, but that wasn’t easy on the uphill. ‘Please don’t worry about me. It’ll make you sick again. I’m fine. Really.’
‘You’re climbing a mountain? In the dark? Why on earth would you do that?’
Good question. Rose stopped for a minute to catch her breath and take in the view. A cloudless sky, lit by a silvery moon, more stars than she’d ever imagined there could be above her. And then, below that, a horizon of dark shadows of the mountains surrounding the village, and the orange lights in the Oakdale houses illuminating the foothills like glow-worms.
Magical. Breathtaking. Peaceful. So peaceful. No one to challenge her, to compare her to how she used to be, no one to tell her how much she’d changed. No one to nag her, to fuss. No one to trouble her.
Except for a certain grumpy doctor she couldn’t stop thinking about… That was troubling. She’d only spent one day in his company but he intrigued her, probably a lot more than he should. From that whole Nordic vibe he had going on to the full body tingle she’d had when they shook hands.
Tingling wasn’t on her agenda. She’d come to lick her wounds and start afresh, have an adventure with a big emphasis on not getting involved with another man for a very long time. She’d had enough of being told what to do and how to act…and, after being in hospital for so long, everyone had been an expert on how she should behave.
Not any more!
Besides, Dr Thor had a mother-in-law, ergo he was married. He had a child. He was so off-limits he might as well have been in Outer Mongolia or… Norway.
Breathing in the cold fresh air, she tried to still her mind the way she’d been taught. In. Out. In. Out. Feet on the earth. Breathe the scents of wildflowers and grass. Listen. Up here it was completely silent, apart from the wheeze in her chest at the unusual exertion. And the palpable panic from her mother. ‘Rose? Are you still there? Why are you up a mountain?’
‘Oh. Yes, sorry. I’m just dropping something off at someone’s house.’
‘Whose house?’
