accusation had been painfully true. More true than he’d wanted to admit.
He’d known the wedding was a mistake, but had figured there wasn’t anything he could do about it. But as the hour had grown closer, he’d realized he couldn’t stay. Couldn’t stand next to Tom at the altar as his best man, watching Holly marry a guy who didn’t deserve her love. So he’d handed the rings to one of the other groomsmen and left the church. In some perverse way he’d hoped Holly would get the message and do the same.
But he’d learned later that she hadn’t walked away. The wedding had gone ahead as planned. She and Tom had moved to Phoenix, Arizona shortly after the wedding, so Tom could take a position as medical director of a large surgical intensive care unit while Holly had taken a critical care fellowship position.
Only now she was back, as Holly Davidson rather than Holly Richards. And she was an infectious disease specialist, not a critical care intensivist.
“Did someone page?” Holly asked, walking back into the arena. She’d come from another room, and he felt foolish for interrupting her while she was seeing another patient.
“I did.” He hated this feeling of unease between them. “When you’re finished, will you give me a call? I’d like to talk to you.”
“I’m ready. I just need to write my note.” She was looking at him with a puzzled expression, as if she couldn’t quite figure out what he wanted to discuss. No surprise, since he wasn’t sure what he was going to say to her once they were alone either.
Regret, mingled with guilt, continued to weigh on his shoulders. He couldn’t help feeling her divorce was his fault. Especially since he suspected Tom’s infidelity might have started before the wedding. Maybe he could have prevented her from marrying Tom if he’d really tried.
“I’ll wait.” Luckily, the ED wasn’t too busy. He’d seen and written orders on all the patients who’d been brought back so far. Mark was the only serious case needing his attention.
Holly strode to the closest computer and signed in. His gaze roamed over her familiar features. She was more beautiful than ever. Her shoulder-length dark hair framed a heart-shaped face. Her dark brown eyes were always warm and smiling.
“Has Mark taken a turn for the worse?” she asked, logging off the computer.
“No, I just sent him to the PICU.” He took Holly’s arm and steered her toward the physician lounge, grateful to find it empty. “And I changed his antibiotics, as you suggested.”
“Good. I’ll go up to visit him in the PICU later. I’m still very worried about him, I hope he turns around with the antibiotics soon.” She glanced around at the empty lounge, then back up at him. “So what’s up?”
He hesitated. There was so much he should say, but part of the problem was that he should have told her his suspicions a long time ago, even without proof to back up his claim. Yet just like all those years ago, the words seemed to stick in his throat.
She sighed and jammed her hands into the pockets of her lab coat. “You don’t have to do this,” she said slowly. “I already know why you left the church the day of my wedding.”
His mouth dropped open in surprise. Had Tom told her about their fight? If so, he’d no doubt left out key details. “You do?”
She nodded, finally bringing her gaze to his. “It was my fault. Because of the night I ruined everything by almost kissing you.”
CHAPTER TWO
THERE. She’d said it. Boldly brought up the night she’d crossed the line, ruining their friendship, forever.
After admitting the truth, Holly felt as if a huge weight had rolled off her shoulders. It was good to have everything out in the open between them. At first she’d been so angry at Gabe for walking out on her wedding, until she’d realized it had been her own fault.
Looking back, she realized she should have taken her subtle feelings toward Gabe, and his subsequent leaving of the church, as a sign. Especially after the horribly public and painful way her marriage had ended. Still, wasn’t it always easier to look back after the fact, to realize what you should have done?
“Holly, it wasn’t your fault at all.”
He was just saying that to be nice. The night she’d almost kissed him, he had been the one who’d pulled back, who’d stopped her from making a terrible mistake. She hadn’t even had a good reason, the situation hadn’t started out as anything more than two friends going to check out a band for her wedding. Tom had been called into surgery, so Gabe had gone with her instead. They’d crashed the wedding, had a few drinks and danced, deciding then and there to hire the band. She’d only intended to thank him for coming along. But the moment she’d looked up into his dark eyes the atmosphere had changed. Suddenly she’d wanted to kiss him. Had actually leaned toward him, until he’d pulled back, making her realize what she’d almost done.
Afterwards, she’d been horrified at her near miss. And, right or wrong, she hadn’t said anything to Tom. What could she say? That she’d almost kissed his best friend? She hadn’t, but being tempted even for a second was bad enough. She’d tried to brush the whole episode off as a foolish mistake, a result of too much wine, but that moment in time had bothered her long afterwards.
“When did you divorce Tom?” he asked.
Her eyes widened. Good grief, had the news of her divorce traveled all the way across the country? A note of panic laced her tone. “What makes you think I divorced him?”
For a moment he looked taken aback by her question. “Because you’re using Davidson, your maiden name.”
She let out an exasperated huff, realizing she’d overreacted. Thank heavens the gossip mill hadn’t reached this far. She didn’t want Gabe to know the gory details. “Not all women take their husband’s name,” she pointed out. After the divorce she’d wished she hadn’t, as changing her medical license in both the state of Minnesota and the state of Arizona had been a pain. “But you’re right. Tom and I split up almost two years ago.”
“I’m sorry,” he murmured.
He was? She ignored the tiny pang of disappointment. “So am I. But I’m over it now.” She didn’t care about Tom anymore. Any feelings she’d had for him had been wiped out by his betrayal.
But she didn’t think she’d ever get over losing her daughter. The familiar wave of grief tightened her stomach. She’d wanted children so badly, had been so thrilled to become pregnant. Looking down into her daughter’s sweet, tiny face and knowing she’d been too young to survive had been heart-wrenching.
She’d never forget Kayla. Lost in the sorrowful memories, she belatedly realized Gabe was staring at her. With an effort she tucked her daughter back into a protected corner of her heart and glanced around. “I, uh, need to get back to work.”
“Wait.” He held out his arm, stopping her from brushing past him. “I’m sorry, Holly. You have every right to be angry with me.”
“I’m not,” she protested. His fingers were warm against her arm and she must be pathetic and desperate to wish he’d haul her close. She needed to get a grip on her emotions and keep a polite distance between them. “Honest.” She stuck out her hand. “Friends?”
He
