she told herself fiercely. A barely civil friendship with Derek is not a relationship. And she ignored the little pain that shot through her heart.
She’d promised herself she wasn’t going to sit around and moon over Derek. And so she’d said yes to Rusty, and yes to a real date on Friday night with the electrician who’d come by the shelter to repair the wiring. He was young, handsome and single, and she’d be a fool to wait around, hoping Derek would love her someday. This could be her last chance at a relationship!
A knock at the back door of the office startled her, and she quickly minimized the program she had open. Then she went to the door with a pleasant smile fixed firmly in place although the hours posted at the entry clearly stated the sanctuary was closed for the evening. But when she glanced through the window, she recognized Derek’s SUV parked beside her little compact car. Her heart rate doubled and her mouth went dry. Good heavens. Had her wishful thinking somehow communicated itself to him?
Ridiculous, she told herself. You’re being ridiculous. But she couldn’t prevent her body’s response any more than she could hide the smile that lit her face when she saw Derek and Mollie on the other side of the screen door. Friendly. Be friendly but not too familiar.
‘‘What a nice surprise!’’ she said. ‘‘What brings you two my way?’’
‘‘I wanted to talk to you,’’ Derek said, ‘‘and Mollie wants to see you, too.’’
Just then, Mollie spotted Hobby, the good-natured retriever mix who was the office mascot. With a squeal, she went racing toward the dog, who obligingly flopped down and exposed his belly for her to rub.
‘‘Well,’’ said Derek wryly, ‘‘she did want to see you. Looks like you’ve been upstaged by a dog.’’
‘‘It wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened.’’ It was the first time she’d seen him since the night he’d kissed her, and that kiss stood squarely in the middle of her attempt at normalcy. Then she realized she was standing there smiling foolishly. ‘‘Come on in. I was still working.’’
He frowned as he followed her into the inner office, leaning against a file cabinet while she propped herself on the edge of her desk. ‘‘This job doesn’t pay enough for you to be putting in extra hours.’’
‘‘I won’t once I’m accustomed to everything.’’ She lowered her voice even though she knew no one else was around. ‘‘I’ve been going through the expense entries, trying to find out where that money went.’’
Understanding crept into his eyes. ‘‘And you don’t want to do it when anyone’s around.’’
‘‘Right.’’ Her spirits, buoyed by his visit, fell as she recalled her concerns. ‘‘I can’t find a thing that points to anyone other than Cathie being the culprit.’’
‘‘Have you told the board?’’
She shook her head. ‘‘Not yet.’’
‘‘You’re going to have to tell them soon.’’
‘‘I know.’’ She sighed. ‘‘I just want to check a few more things before I do.’’
There was a small silence. Derek stuck his head out the door and when he looked back at her, he was grinning. ‘‘Mollie’s lying on top of the dog.’’
‘‘Hobby’s a patient fellow with children,’’ she said. ‘‘How’s she doing?’’
‘‘Pretty good. Day care is going fine now, thanks to your hair.’’
She smiled, reaching up a hand to flip a lock forward absently. She’d been wearing it down much of the time since her talk with Faye and she was getting used to the weight of it. ‘‘That’s good.’’
‘‘Yeah, except that I’m not going to be able to keep her there.’’
‘‘What?’’ She straightened, her voice displaying her concern. ‘‘Why not?’’
‘‘It’s a great place,’’ he said, ‘‘but the hours are too confining. I’m going to look for a baby-sitter who can be more flexible when I have to stay late, and who can keep her longer on clinic nights.’’
‘‘Oh. I never thought about that. Maybe I could—’’
But Derek held up a finger. ‘‘No. You couldn’t. But if you’d be willing to help me interview prospects, I’d be grateful for the additional opinion.’’
‘‘Of course.’’ He was right. And she should be glad that it had finally sunk into his thick skull that she wasn’t going to be Mollie’s baby-sitter for the rest of their lives. But…
Another silence fell, this one less comfortable than the one before. Talking about baby-sitting invariably led her to thoughts of the reason Derek needed a sitter, which led to guilt, which in turn made her annoyed with herself because there was absolutely no reason in the world for her to feel guilty for wanting a life of her own.
‘‘So how was your date on the fourth?’’
‘‘Fine.’’ If she were honest, it had been a pain in the butt. The man seemed to have more arms than an octopus and all of them had been determined to touch her. She’d never been so glad to get home in her life. She’d practically had to shut the door on him—definitely the best part of the evening.
‘‘Did you enjoy the fireworks?’’
‘‘Yes. Did you?’’
‘‘Yes, although Mollie missed you. She kept asking when you were coming.’’
‘‘I’m sorry.’’ And she was. She would much rather have been with Derek and Mollie. But they’d been estranged after that disastrous kiss and she hadn’t imagined that he would want her company.
‘‘What did you think of the new rockets they added this year?’’
‘‘They were interesting. I like the sounds they make.’’
‘‘Yeah. We walked around and looked for you, but we didn’t see you anywhere.’’
She stared at him, a suspicion forming in her head as his disconnected statements began to mesh. ‘‘Are you trying to find out if I really went to the fireworks?’’
To her surprise, a deep flush spread up his neck and he avoided her eyes. ‘‘It was kind of odd that we didn’t see you.’’
‘‘Well, I was there.’’ What was going on here? He’d made it plain that he wasn’t ready for a relationship, that he wasn’t even sure he had liked kissing her enough to want to repeat the experience. He’d said he needed time to figure out what to do about her, as if she were some bothersome task he had to schedule and complete.
‘‘Are you going to see him again?’’ There was a distinctly challenging note in his voice, one that took her even further aback.
‘‘Why?’’ Had he always been this tenacious? She was starting to wish she had
