man to change so completely, was it? To have finally learned his lesson and abandoned the wanderlust of his youth? To be satisfied at last with the quiet, simple life of his Amish roots?
“Hilda, you don’t think there’s any possibility for someone to vote against him tomorrow, do you?” Greta asked, her eyes wide with worry.
“John Amman has sought his forgiveness from Bishop Troyer,” Pleasant reminded Greta. “We will wait to hear his recommendation tomorrow.”
“Nevertheless, the congregation has to be unified in its acceptance,” Hilda reminded them. Lydia saw Gert Hadwell press her fist to her mouth. She hoped, for Gert’s sake, that Hilda had not got it into her head to vote against John. Not that she would put it past the older woman. Hilda saw herself as carrying the standard for what was right in their small community. In many ways her opinion carried almost as much weight as the bishop’s.
But to Lydia’s relief Hilda positioned herself next to Gert in a gesture that could only be read as one of support as she glanced around the room. “I think we have done as best we can here.”
Gert smoothed the quilt on the bed and nodded. “It does look nice,” she said with a smile. “Perhaps,” she added wistfully, “with such nice quarters John will find his peace here.”
“Well, I’ll say one thing,” Pleasant announced. “It smells a good deal better than it did when we came in.”
All the women laughed as they gathered their supplies and trooped down the outside steps to the yard below.
All except Lydia.
She lingered to wipe the oilcloth that covered the small wooden table and glance around the room one last time. She told herself she was only making sure they had left none of their cleaning supplies behind. But she knew better.
In spite of the aroma of the strong lye soap they’d used, offset by the sweetness of the furniture wax, John’s essence filled the space. And as she closed the door behind her she recalled the scent of John—the sheer warmth of his nearness when he’d bent to take the bucket from her. A memory stirred, of him standing so close to her one time when they had gone to the beach together. That day he had smelled of the sun and the sea. And that was the day they had shared their first kiss. They had been fourteen years old.
A lifetime ago, she thought, shaking off the memory as she followed the others down the steps and into the lane where they said their goodbyes. Greta glanced back at her. “Coming to the house, sister?” she called.
“I’m a little tired,” Lydia replied. “You go on.” She was aware that John had paused in the sorting of the wood the minute she spoke. He did not turn around, but everything about his posture told her he was listening.
Greta hesitated then nodded. “All right. See you tomorrow then.”
Ah, yes, tomorrow. First, the services where John will no doubt be fully embraced back into the community. After all, forgiveness is the very foundation of our Amish faith. And later Samuel’s birthday party, Lydia thought. And John would be there for all of it. She drew in a deep breath and forced a smile. It had already been a long and difficult day but the events scheduled for Sunndaag promised to test her even further. “Yah, tomorrow,” she replied.
* * *
On Sunday morning John was awake well before dawn. He lay on the narrow bed beneath two faded hand-stitched quilts and thought about the bed he’d slept in as a boy in a room shared by his three brothers. Where were they now? Married with families of their own? And his sisters? He tried to imagine them all grown-up.
And his parents. Dat. Maemm. Did they think of him? Speak of him?
He rolled onto his side and watched the rays of sun creep through the window that looked out onto Lydia’s property, and his thoughts turned to the day before him. He was confident that the congregation would vote to accept the bishop’s recommendation of forgiveness. But what about Lydia?
So far she had given not the slightest sign that once the bann was lifted she would be willing to resume the friendship they’d once shared. If he was going to live here they would be neighbors at the very least. And, given the way the community’s population had shrunk over the years, they could hardly avoid spending time in each other’s company from time to time. There would be gatherings where they would both be present, like the birthday party for Greta and Luke’s oldest child. Maybe once the bann was lifted Lydia Goodloe would meet his eyes instead of averting her gaze. Or would she? He was certain that part of the way she’d been acting had to do with her thinking she would never see him again. And now that he was here she had no idea what to do.
Well, by this time tomorrow—in fact by later this very evening, when they all gathered at Luke and Greta’s for supper, he would have made clear that she could no longer use the excuse of his shunning for refusing to talk to him. The congregation would vote to accept Bishop Troyer’s recommendation for forgiveness and full reinstatement, for that was the way of his people. They would vote in his favor for his aunt’s sake even if they still had doubts about him. He had missed the traditions of his faith; never in all the years he was gone had he once been tempted to follow the faith of outsiders. Without question there were any number of good and pious people out there, but their ways were far too complicated for John to fully grasp. He liked the simple ways of his own people.
He had made a mistake in not coming home after he’d saved up the money that he needed. Instead, he’d allowed his business partner and friend to invest for him. He’d had no idea what a stock market was, but he had trusted his partner and been drawn in by pure greed at the prospect of doubling his savings in a short time with no work at all. Now he realized that he should have known better. The day he’d turned that money over to his friend was the day he’d realized that he had lost his way—his purpose in leaving Celery Fields in the first place.
But now he was back. He had returned for many reasons—to reconnect with his faith and his community was certainly something that had driven him as he made his way west across the state. He had missed his family, although with them moved north again there was little he could do about that for now. But he had also missed his neighbors and friends. And as hurt and upset as he had been with Liddy, he could not get her out of his mind. Every day as he made his way back to Celery Fields he had thought about her. Through pouring rain and cold, blustery nights when he had to sleep outside, he warmed himself by remembering the times they had spent together, the dreams they had shared, the plans they had made.
Now that he was back he was more confused than ever by her behavior toward him. There was the business of the white prayer kapp for one thing, and then she had barely said ten words to him. Of course, that could be explained by his being under the bann, but still as a girl Liddy had had little use for such rules if they got in the way of what she thought made more sense.
John kicked the covers off and sat up on the side of the bed. Liddy had always been stubborn. She had her opinion on almost any subject and not much tolerance for those who did not see things as she did. The two of them had always been alike in that way and it had caused them no end of arguments when their individual views on a subject differed. But seeing her these past few days since his return—being able to observe her for the most part without actually being able to talk to her—John’s impression was that she had changed. She was more like her half sister, Pleasant, than she’d been as a girl. Then she had been as light-hearted as her younger sister, Greta. But from what he’d observed she had developed the pursed lips and tense posture of their former teacher—a woman Liddy had declared she would never ever want to emulate. But then there had been moments—like when he pumped the water for her—when she had glanced at him and he’d seen
