in his heart, he knew. Maybe he always had, but didn’t want to admit it out of respect for the sanctity of his friendship with Tom. In certain areas, Deacon might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but he’d always done great at remedial math. As much as he’d tried forgetting the things he and Ellie had done, the way she’d unwittingly made him so crazy to have her he hadn’t even used a condom, the memories were still there, colliding with the respect he’d had for her husband. His best friend.
When Deacon’s body finally got around to telling his brain he was hungry, cold and tired, he sliced his way to shore. He had to be on base by 0800—preferably with his head in some semblance of a good place.
* * *
“YOU REALLY DIDN’T NEED to come in this early,” Ada declared, shortly after 9:00 A.M.
“Thanks,” Ellie said, hugging her friend and boss. “But yes, I did. You’re not going to believe what happened after you left.”
“Not sure if I like the sound of this.” As usual, Ada looked runway ready, her makeup and hair flawlessly done. She’d retired from modeling to marry an NBA superstar, but when she caught him with a cheerleader, she’d been the last one laughing—at least from a financial perspective. The divorce settlement had afforded her the elegant boutique, where she designed several of the store’s bestselling garments. “But you know me, always ready for a good story, especially if it’s calorie free.”
Having stashed her purse behind the counter, after leaving Pia at the part-time nursery school she loved, Ellie took the white leather armchair opposite her friend. “Deacon knows.”
Ada covered her mouth with her hands. “Weren’t you going to wait until the munchkin was a little bigger?”
“Yeah, well, I saw him yesterday and had a change of heart. Too many people told me his last mission was dicey. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to him and he never knew Pia was his. I tried telling him twice at the party, but both times got interrupted. Then what happens? He shows up at my house. One thing led to another, and instead of the calm, rational conversation I’d hoped for, I blurted it out.”
“Whoa. Good thing we don’t open till ten.” Shifting in her chair, Ada asked, “What are you going to do?”
Ellie sighed. “I guess try to as smoothly as possible introduce Deacon into Pia’s life. She already knows him, but not like a daughter should know her dad.”
“Where do Helen and John fit in?”
“If Deacon has any respect for Pia or myself, he’ll keep all of this on the down-low for at least a little longer. There’s no way I’m ready for my in-laws to know. The news would crush them. They live for Pia.”
“What about you? You’re pretty attached to John and Helen, too.”
“Granted. Last thing I want is for anything to rock that boat. Tom might be gone, but they’re still my family.”
“What about me?” Ada teased.
“Of course, you, too. But last I checked, I haven’t given you just cause to disown me.”
* * *
THAT NIGHT, after an endless day of firing drills, the last person Deacon wanted to find at his apartment door was Ellie, holding Pia in her arms.
Without so much as a hello, she asked, “You alone?”
“At least until Woof and Grinder get back with pizza and beer.”
Behind her dark sunglasses, he imagined, she was rolling her eyes. More times than he could count, he remembered her voicing her dislike of grown men calling each other by nicknames. Woof happened to be Garrett Solomon, who had the uncanny knack of being able to puke like a dog one second, then be up on his feet, firing off rounds, the next. No physical discomfort fazed him. Grinder, aka Tristan Bartoni, had earned his name from downing six of the meaty Italian sandwiches in under ten minutes during their first leave from BUD/S training. The man ate more than any horse Deacon had ever met.
“We have to talk.” Brushing past him, Ellie sat on the brown leather sofa. Since the three men were hardly ever in residence, the place was sparse, but held all necessary conveniences for a well-equipped man cave. Three recliners. Supersize, wall-mounted flat screen. Xbox, PlayStation and a fridge stocked with beer and the homemade boiled peanuts Southern boy Tristan had his mama send him each and every month. He’d once been married, but his wife couldn’t handle his SEAL lifestyle and had bolted a few counties away with his son.
“If this is about last night,” Deacon said, closing the door behind her, but preferring to stand rather than join her on the sofa, “I’m still processing, and this isn’t a good time for hashing it all out.”
“That’s just it,” she said with a brittle laugh. “There’s nothing to hash out.” She set Pia on the cushion beside her, only the kid promptly scooted off the sofa, making a beeline for Woof’s brightly colored comic collection.
“Hey, whoa!” Deacon swooped to deter her. He hadn’t meant to end up holding her, but now that he was, he took a good look. He and Tom had both been dark-haired, but Pia was a cotton top, much like Deacon’s big brother, Peter, had been at that age. Her big brown eyes were like his, but Tom had also had the same shade. Ellie had hit the jackpot when it came to Baby Daddy Bingo. Had she not confessed that Pia belonged to Deacon, he’d never have been the wiser. He may have had questions, but considering he needed a kid about as much as he needed a hole in his head, he never would’ve asked. “Those comics aren’t toys. Captain America set Uncle Woof back eight hundred big ones.”
“Ridiculous,” Ellie said under her breath. “All of you are hulking man-children with permission to use guns.”
“And? You married one of our best.” Deacon set Pia on her feet, pointing her in the opposite direction from his buddy’s collection.
“Tom was different, and the jury’s still out on what I feel for you.” Ellie clenched her hands in her lap.
“Then why are you here? Because I’m not exactly feeling warm fuzzies for you.” He wore desert camo fatigues with beige combat boots, the laces of which Pia tugged, then giggled.
“Up!”
He glanced down to find the toddler trying to climb his leg. Something about the stern set of determination in her jaw struck a familiar chord deep within him. Did she have his drive to succeed in whatever she started? But Tom had had the same drive. How was Deacon supposed to tell where his traits began and the ones she’d learned from Tom left off?
“She likes being held,” Ellie said, leaving the couch to claim her daughter. “But you’ll figure that out soon enough.”
“Help me out here, Ell. You saying things like that lead me to believe you want me to have a relationship with Pia, yet I have to keep it a secret?”
“Exactly. You wouldn’t blurt to Tom’s parents that the two of us had a fling, would you?”
“No.” Just thinking of that scenario had his pulse taking off. Which made him understand her reasoning behind the hush-hush attitude, though he couldn’t say he liked it any better.
“More than anything, I think it’s important that Pia know you as her father.
