To try his best to be everything except his father’s son.
That, Jack knew, was why he kept putting in all those hours. He’d been part of his father’s selfish, greedy machinations, and it was all Jack could do now to restore what had been destroyed, partly by his own hand.
Doing so felt good, damned good, but he knew the time he invested in that goal was costing him a life, a family, kids. Maybe if he could do enough to make amends to all those his father had wronged, when he went to sleep at night, then maybe the past would stop haunting him.
And then he could look to the future again.
Maybe.
It hadn’t thus far, and there were days when he wondered if he was doing the right thing. Or just trying to fill an endless well of guilt.
“What do you want to do for dinner?” Jack said, changing the subject.
“You’re on your own tonight, kid. I have plans with Helen.” Dan grinned, and for a second, Jack envied his stepfather that beaming smile, that anticipation for the night ahead. “I’m taking her to Top of the Hub.”
Jack arched a brow at the mention of the famous moving restaurant at the top of the Prudential building. “Impressive. On a first date?”
“Gotta wow her right off,” Dan said.
“I must have missed the memo.”
Dan chuckled. “You’re just a little jaded right now.”
“Not jaded. More…realistic about my strengths. I’m good at business, not good at relationships. End of story.”
“Hey, you’re preaching to the choir here,” Dan said. “I’m the king of bad at relationships, or at least I used to be. You live and you learn, and hopefully stop making the mistakes that screwed up your last relationship.”
Which was the one skill Jack had yet to master. When it came to businesses and bottom lines, he could shift gears and learn from the past. But with other people…not so much. Maybe it was because he had gone too many years trying to prove himself to a father who didn’t love him or appreciate him. Jack had kept striving for a connection that never existed. That made him either a glutton for punishment or a fool. “Or just avoid relationships all together.”
Dan chuckled. “What are you going to do? Become a monk?”
“I don’t know. Think they’re taking applications?” Jack grinned. Nah, he wouldn’t become a monk, but he wasn’t at a point in his life where he wanted or needed a committed relationship.
He was trying to buckle down and do the right thing where Knight Enterprises was concerned. Juggling yet another commitment seemed like an impossible task. Deep down inside, he worried more about getting too close to a woman. He’d screwed things up with Tanya, and had plenty of relationship detritus in his past to prove his lack of commitment skills. He had been his father’s son in business—and a part of Jack wondered if he’d be his son in a marriage, too. The easiest course—keep his head down and his focus on work. Rather than try to fix the one part of his life that had been impossible to repair.
“When do I have time to date?” Jack said. “I barely have enough spare time to order a pizza.”
Except he had found plenty of time to think and wonder about Marnie. His wandering mind had set him a good day behind on his To Do list. He really needed to focus, not daydream. By definition, the sassy matchmaker believed in destiny and true love and all of that. Jack, well, Jack hadn’t been good at either of those.
“Aw, you meet Miss Right and you’ll change your tune,” Dan said. “Like me. Helen has me rethinking this whole love in the later years concept.”
“All that from one meeting?”
“I told you, she’s a special lady. When you know, you know.”
Jack would argue with that point. He’d never had that all-encompassing, couldn’t-talk-about-anything-else feeling for a woman before.
Well, that was, until he met Marnie. She’d stuck in his mind like bubble gum, sweet, delicious, addictive. Maybe Dan had a point. But in the end, Jack still sucked at relationships and pursuing Marnie Franklin could only end with a broken heart. But that didn’t stop him from wanting her or wondering about her. And why her attitude toward him had done a sudden 180.
Had his reputation preceded him? Had he hurt her somehow, too, in the years he’d worked with his father? Jack decided to do a little research in the morning and see if there was a connection. A memory nagged in the back of his head, but didn’t take hold.
Jack pulled in front of the renovated brownstone where he lived, a building much like himself—filled with unique character, a speckled history, but still a little rough around the edges.
While his stepfather headed off—whistling—to the shower, Jack grabbed a bag of chips, taking them out to the balcony. He scrolled through his phone, past the endless stream of emails and voice mails. Work called to him, a non-stop siren of demands. On any other day, he’d welcome the distraction and challenges. But not today. Today, he just wanted to sit back, enjoy the sunshine and think about the choices he’d made.
Maybe his stepfather had a point. Maybe it was time to date again, to make a serious commitment to something other than a cell phone plan and a profit and loss statement. He’d been working for two years to make up for the past, and still it hadn’t fulfilled him like he thought it would. Nor had it eased the guilt that haunted his nights. It was as if he was missing something, some key that would bring it all together. Or maybe Dan was right and Jack needed to open his heart, too. A monumental task, and one he had never tackled successfully before.
He took a chip, the fragile snack crumbling in his hand, and thought maybe he was a fool for believing in things that could crumble at any moment.
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