Alex’s eyes flickered briefly over her and returned to her face.
‘My sentiments exactly.’
Which brought the tension slamming back and clogged the breath in her throat and pooled the heat low down in her body. She stood up abruptly and made her trembling legs take her over to the sink. Perhaps she should have dressed down—to the shapeless garments he had talked about earlier?
‘Coffee?’ she asked over her shoulder.
Thank you, that would be lovely.’
She ran the water into the kettle, plugged it in and reached up to get down the coffee.
She hadn’t heard him move but he must have done, because suddenly his hand closed over hers and he turned her gently into his arms.
‘Jo,’ he whispered against her hair, and her traitorous body sagged against him, revelling in the sleek hardness of his legs, the solid depth of his chest, the shift of warm supple muscles beneath her palms as her hands crept round his waist and came to rest each side of his spine.
She had kicked off her shoes under the table and her eyes were on a level with his mouth. She could see the dark shadow on his jaw, and the slight sheen of his skin where he had just recently shaved. His lips were full and firm, and any second——
‘Alex, no,’ she moaned softly as his mouth closed over hers with infinite gentleness.
He withdrew fractionally, but only to run his tongue lightly over the edge of her lips, then he drew the lower lip into his mouth and nibbled with tiny biting kisses, easing away again to soothe it with his tongue.
Jo started to shake, her hands winding up around his neck to pull his head down, and then the kiss spiralled out of control and they clung to each other as the passion mounted in them, driving them with its frenzied zeal.
She twisted against him and with a groan he pressed her back against the cupboards, imprinting his body on hers with a wild savagery that made her whimper with need.
Eventually they broke apart, gasping for breath, and in his eyes Jo could see white-hot desire tinged with remorse.
‘Dear God, Alex,’ she whispered, shaken by the depth of her response. ‘Why did you have to do that?’
‘I’m sorry,’ he said raggedly, ‘but it’s been so damn long …’
He let her go and she sagged back against the worktop, her legs like jelly.
He turned away, and she noticed his breathing was still uneven. He was also still unmistakably aroused, and she had to grip the worktop hard to stop herself from running across the kitchen after him and throwing herself into his arms.
‘Why don’t you wait in the sitting-room and I’ll bring the coffee through in a minute?’ she suggested unsteadily, and with a brief nod he complied.
Once alone, she dropped her face into her hands and stood motionless for a moment, willing her unruly body to submit to discipline. Then she gathered up the wreckage of their meal, threw it in the dustbin, put the plates in hot soapy water and scrubbed down the table before turning her attention back to the coffee.
By the time she took it through to the little sitting-room, Alex was sitting in one of the chairs with one leg crossed over the other knee and his hands lying relaxed along the threadbare arms.
He watched her thoughtfully, and she avoided his eye, unable to look at him for fear of betraying herself.
She set his cup down beside him and retreated to the other chair, drawing up her long legs and curling them underneath her defensively. She knew she was doing it, but she also knew that if she didn’t sit on her feet the wretched things were quite likely to carry her over and dump her in his lap, and she couldn’t afford that sort of complication.
She nursed her cup of tea and waited for him to speak. After a few minutes of tortured silence, he heaved a sigh and picked up his coffee.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said heavily. ‘I didn’t mean that to happen. I really just wanted to talk to you about the last four years—find out how you were, what you’d been doing, if you were married yet—all that sort of thing. I certainly didn’t mean to fall on you like a sex-starved teenager and grope you at the first opportunity.’
She laughed reluctantly. ‘I wasn’t aware that you did grope me.’
‘Thank God for little miracles,’ he said drily, ‘because I certainly wanted to.’
She met his eyes then, and saw regret and a gentle tenderness there that nearly undid her resolve.
She looked quickly away.
‘Alex, I’m not interested,’ she said as firmly as she could manage. ‘I’ve got my career all mapped out, and I know exactly where I’m going. OK, I didn’t get this job, but I’ll get the next one that comes along, or the one after that—I’m determined to succeed, and I can’t afford the luxury of anything that could get in the way of that ambition.’
He was watching her, and she kept her eyes averted in case he read the miserable truth.
That doesn’t sound like you,’ he said at last. ‘OK, you dress the part, and you act the part to a certain extent, and I don’t doubt that you’re a damn fine doctor, but there’s more to you than that, Jo. You’re lonely, and, whatever you might say to the contrary, you’re interested. At least be honest with me.’
Oh, God, she thought, honest is the last thing I can be with you. She fought off the wave of sadness and made herself meet his eye.
‘All right, Alex, I’ll be honest with you,’ she lied. ‘Yes, I’m interested—physically. Sexually we’re great together, and I’m interested in you as a person. That doesn’t mean that I want to try and establish a relationship with you—especially not one that’s going to interfere with my career progression. And yes, I’m lonely, but it’s what I’ve chosen, Alex. Look at me!’ She spread her arms wide. ‘I know how I look—I’m not a fool. If I wanted a man I could have one, but I don’t. If you weren’t my boss, then I dare say we could have a great affair, but as things stand it’s out of the question, and, the sooner you realise that, the better for both of us.’
He was silent for a long while, and she risked a quick glance at him. His mouth was tight, his chin propped on his steepled fingers, and his eyes as they met hers were cold. She realised she had hurt him with her deliberately crude and harsh assessment of their relationship, and somehow that was worse than anything else. Then he rose to his feet and walked over to the window. His hands were rammed in his pockets and the tension was pouring off him.
‘So that’s it, is it? Your final word?’
‘That’s right. It’s the way it has to be, Alex. I’m sorry.’
He snorted. ‘Spare me the platitudes.’ He swivelled round to face her, his eyes hard and unyielding.
‘Either you’re lying, or you really are a hard-bitten career doctor with a hyperactive sex drive. Either way, you’re not the woman I thought you were.’
Shock held her rigid.
