to ignore the faintness stealing over her as her blood depleted of oxygen.
Claire covered her daughter’s ears. “Shut it, Julie.” She let go of her child. “I wasn’t about to let you walk out of your tenth bridal shop without something—not with the wedding only two months away. I was starting to think you were having second thoughts.”
“Ha! Right.” Julie’s overloud protest sounded as the iPod shuffled to another tune. A beat of silence followed and the members of her bridal party exchanged glances. Julie studied her bow-tipped shoes, her face warm. “This is exactly what I always wanted.”
Why didn’t she sound more convincing? She adored Mason. He was everything she’d ever imagined her future husband would be.
Claire held up a drop pearl and rhinestone earring to Julie’s ear and their eyes met in the mirror. “Whatever makes you happy. You know I always support you. Except when it comes to your appalling taste in music, of course.”
“Of course.” Julie bent over and kissed Claire’s cheek. “Thanks, sweetie.” What would she do without her girlfriends? If not for Claire, she wouldn’t even have a dress. Good thing Alexis had given her the thumbs-up via FaceTime, too, or she and the bridal party might be walking down the aisle in comfy jeans.
Decisions. The bane of her life.
She pulled in another thimbleful of air.
“No deep breaths,” mumbled the woman who jabbed a pin near Julie’s rib cage. “Unless you’re going to faint.”
Julie’s mother, Dianne, peered up from her cell phone, her spindle-thin legs propped on the tan settee. She sent Julie a quelling look. “Stay still, darling.”
“Trying.” Julie locked her shaking knees.
Stay and still. Two words she understood all too well. Hadn’t she remained with her ailing mother after college, eight years ago, rather than follow her first love? She’d planned to join her adventurous ex overseas once she guaranteed that her mother’s newly diagnosed MS was being properly managed. With her father’s time tied up in his demanding medical practice and after-hours free clinic, her mother needed extra support.
Janelle, the nurse’s aide they’d hired, was a stranger at the time and leaving her mother right away felt all kinds of wrong. Plus, she’d thought Austin would wait for her...but he hadn’t. He’d moved on. Her lips firmed. And so had she.
Soon she’d be Mrs. Mason Stanton, a doctor’s wife, just like her mother. It was a sensible future. Practical. Made everyone happy, especially her. She could clearly envision their future. No surprises or unexpected twists like the life Austin had offered. Just simple, uncomplicated love. Beautiful.
So why the unease?
Julie tried not to flinch when another pin stuck her. Her gaze darted out the doors and drifted over frozen Mirror Lake and snow-covered Whiteface Mountain in the distance. Heavy-bellied clouds sprinkled the wintry landscape with white confetti, turning her Lake Placid, New York, destination wedding into a fairy-tale scene.
When would this feel like her happily-ever-after? Probably when she could eat more than twelve hundred calories a day. Only rabbits and Victoria Beckham ate that little. She met her mother’s narrowed eyes and straightened her posture. The lace ending at her elbows itched and her armpits felt damp and hot. Cinderella, she was not.
“Are you getting excited about the wedding?” The seamstress crouched at Julie’s feet now, frowning at the dress’s scalloped hem. “This is a great place to get married.” Julie met her mother’s sudden, intent stare and raised a questioning eyebrow.
“It’s like a winter wonderland,” gushed Ashley, a junior bridesmaid. The young teen twirled and her tulip-shaped dress floated around her knee socks before she collapsed on a velvet footstool. With a shrug, Julie looked away, confused by her mother’s curious behavior. Did mothers of the bride get jitters, too?
“You know,” continued Ashley, “like that old movie you made me watch. What was it? White Holiday?”
“White Christmas,” Julie corrected with a smile. “Sheesh. A little respect for the best holiday romance ever.”
“Danny Kaye looks like Conan O’Brian.” Ashley held up her cell phone screen, then passed it around. Surprised exclamations filled the room.
“This place looks like the lodge from the movie, too,” piped up Laura, handing over the smartphone.
Julie’s nerves settled a bit. Yes. She’d always dreamed of a holiday wedding that reminded her of her favorite Christmas romance. After an exhaustive internet search, she’d been shocked when her mother, who avoided the web as though she believed it held real spiders, found it.
Once Julie had spied this quaint, white clapboard inn nestled amid towering pines and taller mountains, it’d been love at first sight. With its Adirondack-style gazebo, an arched wooden bridge over a small stream and Victorian-farmhouse architecture, it had everything she’d imagined. Yet she couldn’t shake the feeling that she didn’t belong here.
“They look a lot alike,” Julie agreed, though her voice sounded strained, even to her. Everything was perfect...it had to be.
“Better, I’d say.” The seamstress took out a tiny pair of scissors and snipped at loose threads. “Have you seen it lit up at night?”
“It looks like a fairyland Christmas tree.” Laura rolled onto her back and propped her toes on the hearth. “How do they get those twinkle lights everywhere? Even on the chimney tops?”
“Oh, they go all out here for the holidays. You’re a lucky girl, Julie.” The seamstress removed a pin from her mouth and smiled up at her.
“Yes. Very lucky,” her mother said with a measured look that made Julie squirm.
She knew she should respond, but what more was there to say? She was fortunate. Incredibly so. Mason was an amazing man. A catch. They’d been friends growing up in their small Connecticut town and, when he’d joined her father’s family practice, it’d made sense to take their relationship to the next level. Her diamond ring dug into her palm and she unclenched her hands.
She loved knowing exactly what life with steadfast, sincere Mason would be like. Julie had grown up watching her mother and father, and wanted the same future. She hated surprises. Always read book endings before starting them. Searched out spoiler alerts. Religiously followed the outcomes of her pros-and-cons lists—even the one, eight years ago, that tipped the scales and kept her from leaping into the unknown with someone else... from being someone else...the risk taker she’d tried and failed to become while at college.
She bit the inside of her cheek as her vision curled in on itself, dark at the edges. What was wrong with her? She needed some air. Glancing out the window, she noticed a sandy-haired man stretching at the start of a trail run.
He looked just like...
She leaned forward.
Austin?
Curiosity seized her.
“If we’re done, I’d love to go for a run,” Julie blurted out. She helped the seamstress to her feet. The woman nodded and rubbed her knuckles against
